Me: The screeds against woke and the fear of being “canceled” just show they’re more afraid of social death—ostracization from even a subset of their peers—than physical death. My Boss: We have a lot of these to get through. If you’re not going to pull the lever, we can find other hang persons.

when confused, self-driving cars should return home in a straight line at top speed

Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy is a Christmas movie.

The best deterrent for crime is likelihood of getting caught, not severity of the penalty. This should apply to traffic as well! And if police aren't going to do it, then cameras. Cameras every ten feet with $5 fines! Fleeing a carjacking? It's probably worth the like $50 then!

wright brothers at kitty hawk getting arrested for violating the eula on bike parts

sorry i was late, boss, i was discovering sacredness in the ordinary

Canadian Canto

It's over. Despite the fact that the academic council recommended against it, despite the fact that the program brought in more tuition than it cost, and despite the fact that Nebraskans need & deserve this expertise, Earth & Atmospheric Sciences will be cut. www.dailynebraskan.com/news/adminis...

Bro, she’s so hot, she would for sure be my one death in mysterious circumstances that casts a pall over my ultimately successful senate run

Is there a viable replacement in case, you know *hand wave*. Ask Herr Doktor Professor Jeeves?

oh shit oh fuck

Canadian: my dog died American: sorry Canadian: I SAID MY DOG DIED

to be fair, it was a long meeting full of windbag dipshits

maybe he’s got a friend who’s training to be an MRI tech and he’s helping with their homework

Front Office: The new leadership is proud to announce we have implemented the Unthinking Fence Clearing Machine from the classic G. K. Chesterton parable Don’t Clear All the Fences Unthinkingly

fat, sloppy, bearded: pick two

you know they’re narcoboats if they’re singing a narcorolle

saw some poor guy in the store at 4 pm on Thanksgiving Day buying roasting pans I hope he got dinner out before midnight

Turning and turning like a wind-blown bag The MQ-9 operator cannot hear the JAG

[jordan peterson voice] A May-December romance. May-December. We can encode that as 5-12. So now—we can look at the prevalence of the meme “6-7” as _generally_ a cry from the next generation for more healthy, age-appropriate relationships and _specifically_ as a rebuke of sportscaster Keith Olbe

Come and listen to my story about a man named Jed A poor mountaineer, barely kept his family fed, And then one day he was shootin at a bite, And down from the sky come a streamin‘ sunlight. Photons that is, yellow gold, Texas Twinkle.

[getting stabbed] I am referring you to the justice department for a potential criminal probe

Brandy you're a fine girl What a good wife you would be But my life my love and my lady Is the See

if you want to view paradise, simply cow around and tool it

More companies should realize that aggressive driving is not a good advertisement.

Switzerland doesn't have a Foreign Corrupt Practices Act. Here's why that's the fault of progressive Democrats. by Matthew Yglesias

Would you do [ethically dubious thing] for [enough money to never have to work again]? Yeah, probably! That’s the problem; billionaires can pose that question multiple times a day to different people for effectively ever!

Yes, Mr. Gaetz. This the White House Counsel’s office. Yes, I’m sorry, but the President is pulling your nomination. Well, you see, the teen you sex trafficked had janky teeth and that doesn’t fit with the President’s image. Yes, good day to you, too.

A strong executive will almost axiomatically deplete small cities and rural areas. Federation created by legislative districts makes you keep sending money to like Spokane and Shreveport and Uniontown. A national despot wants “efficiency” which you get by sending all the money to, well, cities.

a “Space Force”, if you will

Are there like polymarket or whatever bets on suicides following these emails? Or are we not quite that dystopian yet?

NEW: Jeffrey Epstein said in emails that he had been advising the Russian government on how to deal with Donald Trump, one of several cases in which he wielded his connections to try to influence the course of foreign affairs. w @nahaltoosi www.politico.com/news/2025/11...

new meme

more like boor-ealis

But it’s also like, even if you’re a math professor you still have to write papers! If you work for a company you still have to communicate your ideas! I’m sorry that we’re social apes but that’s the way it is!

the thing about insurance is you really really _really_ want people paying into it and not using it (in whatever fiscal time you count by) the best way to do this is everyone. the second best way is this weird ass fakata fractured market you force people into.

USAID one lawsuit at a time

you may be able to create your own reality with the electorate, but the actuaries and the bond markets are a tougher sell

So much in this excellent formula

how did i go so long not knowing we were literally teaching people to read wrong. i knew something wasn't right but jesus christ www.apmreports.org/episode/2019...

It looks like you're bailing out bad investments. Would you like to spare a dime?

doomed to walk the earth, losing elections for mayor in town after town after town

Democracy kinda depends on voters hearing accurate facts and analysis more than they hear made up nonsense, and that’s kinda sort of an issue

I think that’s Bernie Moreno and he looks high as a fucking kite

stan rogers' shipwreck song was so inspiring it saved a man's life in an actual shipwreck, hard to beat that