London > Istanbul > Astana Here I go. With a suitcase full of tweed.

1. Join something 2. See and point out structural issues as well as opportunities 3. Have great ideas, get buy in for change, work behind the scenes 4. Get offered everything I wanted and more 5. Become overwhelmed by anxiety and leave This year I break this pattern.

Weeknote 19 is live. - @sianmurrayhuynh.bsky.social has published our first roadmap draft - @himal.bsky.social has connected with @jackgoulder.bsky.social - Lots of reading, including from Himal at the UN in Nepal Read it here.

The UNDP contract was instigated by a different me. Start of year I thought about paid work but was anxious about returning to anything in the UK, so UNDP seemed ideal. Several chats then no budget. So was surprised when they came back recently, was going to say no. Busy on Pathfinding, settled too.

Whenever I meet another AuDHD person there’s an instant recognition. We know everything we need to know about each other in moments. Almost a shorthand to conversation. Maybe it’s similar to meeting others from the same cultural background? Wouldn’t know. This is deeper. Because we’re deep people.

Facts

"A lot of them are struggling to do day to day tasks like get out of bed, get washed, get dressed.” That was me until 32 unless I was hyperfocused on something. But that never lasted, wasn’t sustainable. Why don’t we dig a little deeper and see how we can support people?

Here we go again. Again.

Popped into @publicdigital.bsky.social offices to compare notes with someone, then catch up with someone else I worked with, then bumped into someone, and then someone else too, and someone on @adhdpathfinding.org.uk… oh and they let us use their space for our workshop back in Sept. Nice people.

Yes unfortunately. The Stansted bit.

Inscrutable systems and processes create undue cognitive load and stress on neurodivergent minds... well really on any minds, but we find it harder to simply "power through" or accept "that's just the way it is." Our thresholds are lower. That's not a failing. We’re canaries.

I’m cold and tired so I’m eating cake and getting in the tub. I’m not sure how the cake helps but it does.

Speaking to someone last week: “You need to think of this like a service made up of a number of products. Repeatable, consistent, continuously improved through feedback loops. You need measures and goals…” Except environment is wrong for the necessary agility, autonomy or transparency.

They're trying to book me business class for next mission. Well well well... "Himal has documented neurodivergence..." Happening because I opened several cans of whoop-ass on Friday. They had me working 16 hour days and tried to pass it off as normal.

I really don’t understand what Microsoft Teams is trying to be.

Wrote about the week I just spent in Cambodia working with government teams on open source capability and digital infrastructure. Reflecting on the mission, approach, training, assessment framework and lessons learned.

My brain is barely functioning but my legs are fine. Run will deal with jet lag.

Landed back in the UK after short hop from Phnom Penh and then 11 hours on a plane full of people who seem to have had a lovely holiday. What the hell did I have? It’s only been a week? Feels much longer. Suitcase. Uber. Bed.

Weeknote 18 is out. - ADHD Taskforce report part 2: we're going deeper to write a full and comprehensive response. - Team resilience tested and passed (@himal.bsky.social in Cambodia, @sianmurrayhuynh.bsky.social holding the fort) - Call to participate in ADHD research studies Read it here.

I was called “too strategic.” It’s pronounced “autistic.”

Being overtired is your ADHD brain stuck in a dopamine chasing loop. Looking for one more hit. And just one more after that. Oh go on then, last one… not realising that it needs sleep and rest.

Phnomomenal

I’ve been on this plane for… I only exist on this plane now. This plane is the universe. They just brought breakfast but my body says it’s dinner.

When the person checking your boarding pass at the gate is the same as the one that checked your bag. It’s like a video game where they reused the same NPC model (sorry airport staff).

I’m actually nervous. But that’s a good thing. I’m doing something new and I’m out of my comfort zone. I surprised myself this year by comfortably doing things that had previously made me anxious. But that’s the point, I had done them before. This is all new now. Butterflies.

“Multi-faith prayer room.” Wonder if that’s like being multi-class in D&D? Can someone be 6/4/2, like level 6 Christian, level 4 Hindu, level 2 Mormon? Or is Mormon a subclass/specialisation?

Change of plan. Leaving backpack. This isn’t like my travels. One week. In and out. They’re paying taxis etc.

It’s only the last few weeks I’ve used Microsoft’s online Word, Excel and PowerPoint and… why are they so sluggish? Compared to Google docs. And this is on a new M4 MacBook Air. Let’s not even get into Teams.

I still wonder how I got here. Neurodivergent poor brown kid wandering the streets. No support. No qualifications. I got to do wonderful things. But I wasn’t kind to myself. I didn’t think I was enough. Now I get to do even more. It’s different this time. Easier. What about all the others?

It’s a good bunch of people. You can do a lot with that.

Weeknote 17 is out. ADHD Taskforce Part 2 has landed. Good recommendations (waiting times, higher NHS priority) but no clear ownership and accountability. Also this week: - Working on visual map of ADHD landscape - Updated vision board live - First team fika happened today! Read it here.

I’m really looking forward to spending Christmas with my mum and sister. Which is something I never thought I’d say. But I really am. What a difference a year makes. And what a year it’s been. This time last year I was still completely lost. But I was on the cusp of something.

Packing… it’s going to be 30° and humid but I’ll be in air conditioned spaces. Shirts, linen jacket or two, chinos and probably loaders.

The ADHD Taskforce report is finally out. We called what it needed to contain a month ago: national standards, fair shared care, real ownership. First look: some movement, still too many gaps. Reports don’t fix systems. Continuity does. Read the report here www.england.nhs.uk/publication/...

Did a podcast back in July with an executive coach where I talked about neurodivergence, psychological safety, authenticity and servant leadership. All things I was thinking about. And have been putting into practice recently.

The ADHD Taskforce full report is expected to land today. We already covered what we expect to see in it and how we will benchmark.

Thought I’d retired these. Saturday morning Heathrow. Sunday morning land in Phnom Penh. Surreal, didn’t think I’d be returning to that part of the world anytime soon. There for a week. Monday to Friday full schedule. Too full. Fly back Saturday after.

Reminded that NYC is probably my favourite place in the whole world.

Lovely dinner with @martinlugton.bsky.social and other half at this great Georgian restaurant I discovered earlier this year in East Dulwich. Highly recommend.

Well there’s another six months rent paid upfront. Last six was a good settling period. Next six… let’s see.

@adhdpathfinding.org.uk planning with @sianmurrayhuynh.bsky.social, our service owner!

The final barrier from our ADHD Awareness Month campaign: lack of national ownership, accountability, and strategy. Without this, barriers stay stuck locally. Our blog post explains why national ownership is the only way to change the system. Read it here.

What a week! Oh wait.

“Are you joining the call?” What call? Outlook not syncing with Google Calendar. Better fix that.

Great run and chat with @visitmy.website! Run and chats should be more of a thing.

This is what I’m doing with UNDP. Readiness assessments and consultations to help governments bootstrap an OSPO, or open source programme office. Foundational stuff leading to digital public infrastructure, avoiding lock in, opening up opportunities. It’s really exciting.

ADHD Awareness Month 2025 finished yesterday. We shared one systemic barrier a day. That’s 31 barriers over 31 days showing how ADHD care in England is fragmented, and what needs to change. We also published a post summarising what we learned and what’s next. 🧵 below are all 31 posts.

It’s tough out there. Especially for younger people of colour. Here’s a bright spark I met a few years back when they were doing work experience in gov. Discovering the world is unfair. The choices: compromise or rise above it, and possibly be resented for being too good. Pick the latter.

What a week! Got contract on Monday but working on it for 3 weeks already. Super early start today for call I was nervous about but went fine. Also bits of time tussling with admin and systems to get ✈️ booked. Ongoing. Advocating service design externally, but internal systems? Nope. It’s familiar.

Weeknote #16 is out. We've wrapped up ADHD Awareness Month and published all 31 systemic barriers. The biggest? No national ownership or strategy for ADHD. This week: - Ellie's story on BBC News - New connections including NHS Digital Prevention - Community fika launching 7th Nov Read it here.