Went to a gong bath with friend. Turns out it has nothing to do with baths. Still took Captain Quack. Was asked “why do you have a rubber duck?” I should be asking people the opposite. He sat on my belly. Very relaxing experience. Then saw Venus and Jupiter on stroll home.

Found this old snake game I wrote in C++ with SDL around 2008. It was a recreation of the old QBASIC snake game Nibbles. GPT ported it to run on browser and all looks and works fine. Port and original here. Maps/levels can added or edited in maps.js drive.google.com/file/d/10vpK...

Went to London Transport Museum depot open day yesterday and got to on this 1932 rolling stock. They actually get it out and running a few times a year.

Interested to see what the @adhdpathfinding.org.uk team has been working on? Come to our show and tell tomorrow, Tuesday 24 March 2026. Everyone is welcome. #adhd #neurodiversity #mentalhealth

@adhdpathfinding.org.uk show & tell: 1) Our vision, mission and goals - @himal.bsky.social, 2) Service standard workshop playback - @sianmurrayhuynh.bsky.social, 3) Post diagnosis support: what good looks like - Ellie Smith Barratt. 1230 to 1330 Tuesday 24 March 2026. Sign-up luma.com/qi9spcfa

Life’s too short for emails. I ignore most now and it’s working out quite well. But I’d still take an email over a video call.

Stillness can be scary.

Back a month from the trip. I prototyped a different way of living across Sydney, Melbourne and Wellington. Slower, less urgency, more noticing, more presence. Long brunches, writing, little chats, time to reflect, let ideas emerge. Doing same in London but it's taxing. More friction.

The “spaciousness” I’ve found is something I would previously have seen as unused capacity that needed filling. Now I protect it by saying no to things. Paradoxically some of the work I get offered lately comes from ideas that come from having extra capacity. Which the work would quickly eat up.

Some chats about AI recently and I'm leaning into my usual: institutional capability, ownership, sustainable change. AI just intensifies it all and forces the question: who owns decisions? That was always the point of gov digital. Bring policy, delivery and operations together. More pressing now.

Some generalised lessons from stepping out of survival mode. Embodied insights from my month away.

Limiting myself to three video calls a week. No limits on real life catch ups. Deal with emails at allocated times. Don’t respond to messages immediately. Stopped responding to some people altogether. Turns out they were only looking for regulation or stimulation. It’s good to breathe.

I’m looking for speakers for a London event on the science of Star Trek. I’d really appreciate suggestions from underrepresented minorities in STEM, especially PoC/global majority. (10 min, central London, Sept, currently unpaid but I’m trying to fix that) Feel free to message

Finishing up call with people in different parts of the world: “Right, I’m off to a pub thing but not sure I’ll go. It’s raining and it’s an hour on the tube.” Someone says: “That’s the most London thing I’ve ever heard.” Was quite funny. Also I’m not going. Cup of tea. Slippers.

It’s t-shirt weather! ☀️

Did talk at UNDP on a question that comes up a lot in supporting governments: What makes digital transformation stick? Less about strategies/pilots/platforms and more: how do we build institutional capability and design conditions? Prompted good discussion around mandate, funding and capability.

Asking this on Bluesky out of laziness, but would any south London/south London adjacent folks who work in tech be interested in taking part in a "work in progress" night to try out new talks? (quick 🧵)

Went to a neurodivergent comedy show in Southwark. Didn’t realise Robin Ince was going to be on, was brilliant. Glastonbury, cream tea and acid (you had to be there). A gem from another comic: “I have introvert thoughts. They’re a bit like intrusive thoughts but they keep to themselves.”

3 months ago I found myself falling into a familiar pattern: Heroics. Rescuing. Overfunctioning. Taking responsibility without authority. I caught myself and instead articulated the conditions for me to do my best work and my boundaries. I’ve held to this and learned a lot about myself. 1/3

A lot happened in the month away. Internally. 35k words of journalling. Not forced. But I also found stillness. Sat in cafes. Spoke to people. Went to locals groups. And wondered: why don’t I do this in London? So now I am. While protecting the stillness.

Pulling together threads on noticing gaps, burnout as signal, and standards as boundaries: If early warning matters why don’t organisations pick it up? It’s not better metrics or more retros. It’s capacity. When capacity isn’t protected sensing defaults to individuals. Risk becomes personal.

Lovely day to be out ☀️

Shame Zipcar shut down. So good on availability and per hour pricing. Looking at alternatives. Get my driving confidence back.

Some reflections from working across a few different country contexts last few months. Thinking about how we own, sustain and build long-term capability for delivery. Written to spark internal conversations about growing the “adoption muscle" - within institutions and for those they support.

Clearing out the tweed. End of an era.

Very happy with this purchase from the Weta Workshop.

A belated birthday lunch for my sister because I was in New Zealand. But this card made up for it. She was sufficiently amused. Quite proud of my work here.

Standards are not perfectionism. They’re boundaries. But under pressure they get reframed as “idealism.” Coping hardens into culture. Standards are sacrificed. This piece ties together previous posts on noticing first, burnout, norms, regulation, effort vs capacity and progressive disclosure.

The jetlag is rough. Got in Friday evening but struggled to sleep. Up early Saturday then crashed by 1400 (after eating a Morley’s). Nap turned into 12 hour sleep. Lay in bed dozing from 0200 to 0700. Feeling fine but must make it to 2000 ish tonight.

Standards are not perfectionism. They’re boundaries. But under pressure they get reframed as “idealism.” Coping hardens into culture. Standards are sacrificed. This piece ties together previous posts on noticing first, burnout, norms, regulation, effort vs capacity and progressive disclosure.

Little harbour ride. Then 30 hours back.

Last day in Wellington. Sydney tomorrow and then depart for London Thursday. This trip has provided clarity and closure. Completion.

Trolling

Ah Wellington

Burnout and disengagement aren’t individual failures. They’re signals of systems under strain. When effort replaces capacity and responsibility is pushed down without authority, people adapt. Some burn out. Others disengage. Until conditions change, transformation only reproduces the same risks.

@sianmurrayhuynh.bsky.social is absolutely brilliant. Hire her.

So restful here. Been almost two days and still haven’t gone into town.

Would love to see some

Latest piece on systems, culture and sustainable change. Before strategy or transformation, norms are already doing the real work. Not plans, programmes or tech. What gets normalised decides what’s possible. Norms are cultural infrastructure and preconditions for transformation.

Island Bay, Wellington, New Zealand. It’s good to be back.

Last day for #CampDigital early bird tickets. An amazing lineup, including: @rachelcoldicutt.bsky.social @himal.bsky.social @laurayarrow.bsky.social @dasbarrett.bsky.social @lisariemers.bsky.social and of course @sharonodea.com returns with lightning talks www.nexerdigital.com/camp-digital...

Still looking for Content Designer and Graphic Designer (both unpaid volunteer, part-time, 4-6 hours, flexible). Have lived experience of ADHD and want to work with a great team pushing for change in ADHD care? Email: [email protected]

Goodbye Melbourne. Again. I thought I had unfinished business here but no, I already had closure on that chapter of my life. Instead some nice catch ups, excellent brunches and a massive chicken parma. Now Melbourne just becomes a lovely city to visit with some lovely people I know. That’s enough.

Watching myself work with boundaries, and I mean just the ones I set for myself. Like the hour in the mornings I set aside for admin and work stuff. And then that’s it. Nothing more for the rest of the day while I’m away. Doesn’t matter how “free” I am. Clean separation and compartmentalisation.

Something I’m increasingly reflecting on is the ways in which I substituted being needed/admired/respected/interesting etc for connection, because I couldn’t allow that. And now that I can, how hollow, transactional or one sided some relationships feel. Especially with those who also cannot connect.

It’s been interesting being back in Melbourne. Spent 7 months in 2023 and made some good friends. Lovely catching up. Being here also confirmed something I’d come to realise recently: no place is special. What I was seeking wasn’t here. It was inside me, I just couldn’t connect to it back then.

I’m doing some things for the first time on this trip - no, on this holiday: - Not making plans, leaving unstructured time - Leaving non urgent messages unanswered - Diagnosing and assessing but making no decisions - Writing with no deadlines - Letting myself feel happy/sad/annoyed/lonely/loved

When leaders struggle to step back systems become anxious. Care without restraint can unintentionally get in the way. People optimise for approval, heroics get normalised, and autonomy disappears. Sometimes the most supportive thing a leader can do is create space and let others step forward.

In systems under pressure, people labelled “disruptive” or “perfectionists” are often early warning signals. And often the ones most likely to burn out. When psychological safety and cognitive capacity are low, effort replaces capacity, heroics become infrastructure and burnout becomes normalised.

Hadn’t seen @jessbuildstech.bsky.social in years. Turns out they’re moving to Melbourne and just arrived last night. Small world!