Watching some figure skating and they’re dancing to Michael Jackson. Presume Gary Glitter’s back catalogue also features prominently.

The Goalden Touch of Joshua King Midas It seems like every touch of the ball the Norwegian journeyman striker takes ends up in the net. Even his own.

Snow White: Ben White really gets into sniff. Starts hanging around with 7 steroid users with dwarfish genitals.

Hansel and Gret-El Tel. Same but shady financial shenanigans afoot

The Three Billy Sharps Gruff. Three ageing strikers antagonise a well-meaning bridge troll who was minding his own business

Jack Grealish & The Beanstalk. Just because he seems like a chap who would trade valuables for beans.

Football Fairytales: Hans Segers and Gretel. Embarrassed by accusations of match fixing, Hans and his sister are sent out into a forest where they encounter a witch who looks a lot like Harry Redknapp. He coaxes them into his gingerbread house. Triffic stuff.

Been away for 4 months, come back to post this…nothing!

Football Fairytales: The Elves and the Schumacher. Some helpful elves realise that a moustachioed German goalkeeper is overwhelmed and exhausted from having to do goalkeeping drills and putting on huge white gloves. So, as he sleeps, they go to the house of Patrick Battiston and duff him up.

Seems that you can really get at this Liverpool side. Plus the relegated sides aren’t totally hopeless, so maybe the league won’t be as dull this year.

How is Matt Hamshaw 43?

How much pre match analysis is truly needed? Chuck on highlights of an old play off final or something. Not Chris Sutton just sort of chatting whilst stood on or near the pitch

I'm just glad Robert Redford filmed Butch & Sundance and the Sting, because it means that for those two times in his life, at least, he experienced what every other man on Earth not named Paul Newman felt in his presence.

A beautiful giant has left us. He was incredible and I loved him.

One of my favorite Robert Redford stories is when Mike Nichols was considering him for "The Graduate" and told him he needed to act like a guy who has struck out with women and Redford replied "what do you mean?"

Man United keeper has big Kevin Pilkington energy. Absolutely not a number one.

Something comical about this Manchester United side. Everyone they bring on seems oddly hysterical.

Donnarumma looks as if he might be 50.

Portsmouth have identical keepers

In Will Still and Graham Alexander we have a return to the truly ugly football manager. Piss pricks in the snow eyes, ratty features, a slack jawed expression. It’s refreshing to see.

Going to be one of those games, I fear. Absolutely the better side by a distance. One smash and grab goal and that’ll probably be the winner.

Absolute treat to spend time with my brother at @wrestleme.bsky.social Live. Feel like I should have dressed like Gangrel #fanginandbanging

I’m a semi-intelligent person and not completely unaware of the football lexicon but reading this article hurt my head www.bbc.co.uk/sport/footba...

What’s the standard of the Scottish old firm? Mid-table League One?

Finding myself really enjoying football, at last. Watched the penalties from last night, again. Beyond hilarious.

Amorim hiding on the bench or just fiddling with his nerdy tactics board. An interesting look for a man charged with turning around the fortunes of the biggest club in the world

Man United? The international T-shirt brand?

Absolutely sensational. Good job he hit the crossbar as neither keeper was going to save one.

Hope this goes into the new year.

Amorim seems like a strange chap

Keepers penalties

Grimsby have been great

Teehee

Utd will win this but right now it’s very funny

I know it’s early days but #htafc are fun to watch and the team is extremely likeable. That does go a very long way.

Hot dog, that boy can play. Beautiful hair, too

My continued disdain towards 80s comedy films gathers apace. Watched Caddyshack. Absolute trash. Zero stars. Just a tedious mess of nothing.

Now that is how you take a penalty!

Erm…probably talking shit but then again, I think I’d give Leeds a game

Can see Arteta leaving Arsenal sooner or later. Team absolutely crammed with talent and they’re shuffling the ball back to the keeper. Utterly reliant on set pieces.

Think Lee Grant might actually know what he’s doing. Plus he’s the only manager in English football history who won’t ultimately look like a dinner lady.

Leo Castledine produced one of the all time best #htafc individual moments I’ve witnessed, last night. That last ditch tackle was an absolute joy to behold. Also took an outstanding penalty against Leicester. I’m pushing 40 but might copy his haircut and get his name on all the shirts I own.

Just watched The Magnificent Seven. That’s an awful lot of cool in one film.

Very much looking forward to the two Rev Pro shows at Crystal Palace next week - a venue steeped in wrestling history as Big Daddy went swimming there in order to pad out the pages of his 1983 annual

That was the most fun I’ve had watching Town for years. Absolute team full of talent and likability. Great to see two young kids score as well.

Bruv Island TV's most tiresome professional cockneys are abandoned on the Isle Of Sheppey First one to build a podcast studio wins

Above Island. Reality show takes a dark turn as climate change causes rising tidal waters to flood villas rented out to fame-hungry nobodies

Gove Island. Michael Gove is sent to an island. Nobody ever hears from him again

Ndlovu Island. The former Zimbabwe and Coventry skill merchant attempts - and fails - to capitilize on the public's seemingly never-ending desire to watch reality TV shows