One of the best bits of learning Italian is translating names – Frank Capra is Frank Goat, Frank Zappa is Frank Hoe, Greta Scacchi is Greta Chess, and so on. I have a new favourite: the great director Francis Ford Flat Cap.

I suddenly want Timothee Chalamet to win everything.

This is very good, and it features an excellent Jabberwocky-based pun.

Gary Le Strange new/lost album Chromium Dockyard out now: garylestrange.bandcamp.com/album/chromi... Waen Shepherd's a genius who is also very funny.

Shaking reported, possible #quake Near Morecambe, England, United Kingdom | 6m ago | - 102 reports so far. Did you feel it? Send a report!

Misha Glenny is superb, so this is some actual good news, happening now. What a strange feeling.

“Mirek, could you provide a photo of you looking anxious” “Sorry I only have this”

Checking on my 80 yr old Dad. Me: Have you had some lunch? Dad: I had a big plate of chips with Mel. Me: You’d better have your vitamins then. Dad: Well, they had cheese on them.

I walk down this road every week! But *even if I didn't*, it's still fun/brilliant.

I'm not actually sure that agreeing very hard with all of this is good for my health. I'm currently trying to understand (a) the Italian language and (b) cricket, in order to occupy time with mental activities that aren't connected to pretty much everything else going on in the world.

Turns out both DownDetector and DownForEveryoneOrJustMe use Cloudflare so are currently, themselves, down

I don’t normally think about Christmas this early, but I am looking forward to hanging this on our front door.

I love my hobby (writing social posts that I think might be amusing, rewriting them repeatedly, realising they’re not amusing and then deleting them).

Evri.

Sorry, but I can't stand Glenn Gould.

I think I'm going to start a long thread of Italian music, because I'm obsessed. Not more than one post per day, and all of them will be solid gold great big lovely splendids of #italianmusic #musicaitaliana 🇮🇹. First off, Quanno Chiove by Pino Daniele. www.youtube.com/watch?v=d0rb...

About a fifth of the way through this political history book, and we’ve had three ‘febrile atmosphere’s so far.

The BBC are accidentally running the subtitles to Mrs Marple over the Mercury Prize, and it’s rather wonderful. A few of lines could plausibly have been written by Jarvis.

Just realised, I feel sorry for my bottom set of teeth. The uppers look better, and get to see the world more. There’s a Cinderella dynamic going on.

To anyone who quotes a terrible news source, either to criticise it or the subject of the piece, well done for taking the bait you witless roaring news Chewbacca twat.

YouTube just gave me this slice of joy randomly. May it brighten your day too. Incidentally, I thought "that cornet player's bloody good". I looked her up. Shaye Cohn. Al Cohn's granddaughter. Absolutely jazz royalty. youtu.be/_ZdMxFiUf9Q?...

Thank you Charles Tyrwhitt for brightening my day with your immensely Alan Partridge catalogue copy. BLAZER SHARP.

I haven't lived in Crystal Palace for 12 years. When I did, I'd go in and buy a book just to enjoy the shop. The only real chat I had with him was to ask him where he got the Steely Dan demo tracks he was playing. A great place, clearly a superb bloke. I hope he is long remembered and emulated.

This morning I am getting pissed off by Sotheby’s for calling the American rip-off of Smarties as a ‘design classic’.

This reminded me of the Guardian TV review section's love of the ⭐⭐⭐ rating for things that are apparently either superb, or terrible.

Paul Simon lyrics are always I.e ‘sitting out on 4th and main just rollin’ marbles rollin marbles in the rain; all the way to Mary, she told me to roll it right back and put it in my hat; I said ‘I don’t that hat no more’ I said ‘I don’t wear that hat no more’ etc

I have another tv history lost memory… a comedy song, I think a Phil Pope number from Who Dares Wins (?) that went something like “Hey Kerry-Ann, what’s your surname?”. A Beach Boys-esque harmony, with “what’s your surname” as the repeated refrain. Name likely not Kerry-Ann, but something similar.

I would be a whole-hearted republican if it could be guaranteed that Adrian Chiles was President.

• They used really tiny cameras. • The mice haven’t shared location footage yet, but it is believed to be for a new Netflix drama. • Starring Brie Larson.

If there really was a wine pairing-based cookery show (make a great dish to match this wine) I would demand silence during broadcast, video all episodes and neatly label each cassette, as - unfortunately for my wife who has to hear the drivel - I am a pairingwanker (to use the German word).

I wonder if we'll end up with laws making it illegal to leave AI production unlabelled as such? Which of course will be ignored by many, but at least it would force the hand of tech companies to remove content.

All sorts of rather snide accusations that I've "fallen in love with Asda's German Style Sausage Selection" coming at me from other parts of my brain. Unnecessary.

Over the past few months I’ve been compiling a playlist of songs that have popped into my head from nowhere and got stuck there for a bit. This is how all DJs should operate.

Just re-broadcast Churchill's People.

‘Eating baked swans eating baked fucking swans hands burning up swelling finger’s chauffeur not talking told him not to fucking talk look at the state of him state of the public wave? not fucking wave! I just nod I JUST FUCKING NOD’

100% agree with this. Also, best leg-cramp remedy is putting your foot on cold surface e.g. tiles.

I'm feeling mentally fine at the moment, EXCEPT I would like some embarrassment-removal medication, please. Pills, cream or spray-on, don't mind.

@thequietus.com Do you know if Patrick Wolf has got a new album out by any chance?

Gene Wilder does perhaps the greatest pause I have ever seen in this moment from Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Sex But Was Afraid To Ask. youtu.be/yqrTubSt9P4

The stereo panning on this is *so much fun*. It freaked me out when I was 6 and my Dad played it to me on headphones. Now I own far too many pairs of headphones.

Currently listening to Queen's best album.

I need to moan about the experience of men’s shirt shopping. The choice is either boring, or violently tasteless, no middle-ground. And, because it’s ‘summer’, short sleeves only, as our forearms are roasting in the cloudy 14° wind-chill.

JESUS: Mum, was my conception immaculate too? MARY: Yours was.... [glances at JOSEPH, who stays staring fixedly at the floor] ...yours was a bit strange to be honest.

I didn't realise this either, having been raised agnostically - I think maybe it helps explain the way Mary is treated in Catholic culture. But also, Jesus' conception was not immaculate..?

If you're not a Half Man Half Biscuit fan yet, you should know that there are usually about 3-4 astounding lines like this per album (amongst all the others, that are also clearly the work of a genius). A life-improving band.

Shows a remarkable similarity to another survey I did recently