What is molasses? Mole asses. Small and furry. #jokes

I once taught a student who brought a Yorkiepoo to class. Everyone loved it. It was basically a pocket-sized anxiety machine with fur. And an amazing wardrobe. #yorkiepoo #yorkie #dogs #thecomicswordbook

People so often believe russians are evil. But they are really goofy weirdos, just with no small talk. When I lived in St. Petersburg you could see all sorts of ad-hoc sports on the frozen canals. These guys were my favorite. #russia #stpetersburg #wintersport #россия #санктПетербург

I do not expressly remember doing a T-Rex impression on stage, but the cameras don't lie. What animals should I accidentally mimic next? #jokes #comedian #standupcomedy #dinosaur

Luci Anderson Sonja Leinamo Regina Ermits Anamarija Lampic Top 10 Anastasia Kuzmina Top 20

Great news. Don’t lose hope, it’s worth fighting back. There are many more rational, compassionate adults than extremist misogynists 👏

Nicolás Maduro Charged With Felony Oil Possession

If the UK kidnapped Donald Trump, took him to London and put him on trial for crimes against the English language, I would be ecstatic. I would dance in the streets. But I would also know it was wrong and against international law. Two things can be true at once. #venezuela #trump

Far right men think refugee women are their personal mail order bride service. Lots of Ukrainian women were abused by men.

Uber Black Site: by dictators, for dictators. The only app that offers black-bag service, same day extradition and five star rating, from the general who signed the order. #venezuela #trump #maduro #uber #breakingnews

all cats used to be the size of lions, but each time you pick them up they become smaller. this might sound crazy but it is absolutely true. if not for some brave souls who picked up lions, we wouldn't have housecats today.

So we need Greenland for defence and we send the guy who mandated the 10 commandments in schools as our envoy. A+ work, America, on cosplaying as an AI hallucination. #trump #usa

Propose nickname Simon Bowl-of-lard for Donald Jessica Trump who has said he will run Venezuela now. @jimmykimmellive.bsky.social www.yahoo.com/news/article...

Wow today is going to be weeks long

Zohran Mamdani's best ad yet.

I mean, the FiFA peace prize is a bunch of creepy gold hands grabbing the world, so Trump has actually just done what the football people told him to do. #fifa #trump #venezuela

Trump pardoned Hernández, ex-president of Honduras, who was involved in a drug trafficking scheme that flooded America with over 400 tonnes of cocaine. He said that Hernández was treated very harshly and unfairly. But he kidnaps Maduro and his wife. Because he wants to plunder the country's oil.

In a routine act of humanitarian bookkeeping, Washington has temporarily relocated President Maduro to an undisclosed location, ensuring Venezuela may resume the orderly export of its resources without the inconvenience of self-determination. #venezuela #breakingnews

The USA is a trashy reality tv show that the world does not need to be watching. #venezuela #news

U.S. Officials have stated that Venezuelan President Nicolás Maduro will face trial in New York- demonstrating the U.S. justice system’s capacity to prosecute presidents, provided they are foreign. #breaking #news #venezuela

You should be embarrassed to be a member of congress and issuing anything other than impeachment resolutions. You're in the model UN. They should give you legos and a propeller hat

Following an inconvenient outbreak of sovereignty in Caracas, the U.S. has launched a limited “stabilization excursion,” placing local strongman Nicolás Maduro in protective custody to guard him from the perils of due process while responsible parties work to restore investor confidence. #venezuela

It's truly remarkable how there will be news organizations and journalists who correctly identify that RFK is a menace and that HHS can't e trusted when he pushes stuff about vaccines or Tylenol causing autism... but cover the anti-trans stuff like "Well, HHS says so, and we should trust HHS!"

Just read a BBC article about thieves who targeted gay men using Grindr. They threatened and humiliated their targets, hoping they'd be too ashamed to report the crimes. The blatant homophobia used by lawyers in court about the victims is really awful! It basically reads as 'they deserved it'!

dumb social menaces Jake Paul and Andrew Tate both being beaten in the same weekend? May this day live forever as Punch A Mysoginistic DudeBro ~mas. #andrewtate #jakepaul

Ponsiluoma podium Jacquelin podium Bakken podium Eder top 10 #biathlon

The redacted epstein files explain the claims of this being the most transparent administration in history. It is clear they are hiding everything.

Last night went to a Christmas disco at the local pub. A group of school teachers were there, very drunk. The PE teacher came up and tapped me on the shoulder. Scowled. Said 'I can tell you work out'. Shambled away. I'm healed! 38 years of trauma gone! 14 year-old me is free!

It was such a joy to celebrate Hanukkah with Mandy, Kathryn and their son, Gideon. As Jewish New Yorkers across our city prepare to light candles and mark the seventh night today, I wish you and your families a Hanukkah full of light and love. youtu.be/KIxAKyioXng

Could the announcers stop fawning over Botn for one moment and observe that Simon Eder got a top 10? #biathlon

at @dailykos.com we're not going to stop reminding you that charlie kirk was a bigot and turning point usa is racist Wife of murdered bigot endorses Vance for 2028 www.dailykos.com/stories/2025...

A dog bitten by a snake fears sausages.

David Walliams has been dropped by his publisher following an investigation by The Telegraph into inappropriate behaviour towards young women. www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2025/12...

just to be clear. The department of war is its drag name. And a really boring one too. The Defense-a-licious Squad is right there.

This week it is the availability of halal meat at Christmas markets that is setting off the wingnuts and cranks. You know those sacred places where you can buy overpriced chachkis and terrible hot chocolate? Ayup. #christmas #happyholidays #thecomicswordbook

Oh

Good morning 🌞 please sign and share. Farage and American extremists have their sights set on the Scottish Parliament next year. Don’t let us be collateral damage.

The bigots are out in force attempting to segregate the christmas markets. Can’t have anything non christian near the sacred corporate markets! vm.tiktok.com/ZNRYfPwFL/

Please can folks help me with this? My petition being discussed in 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 parliament 14th Jan. this is the second time I’ve petitioned on this. STILL no action on providing abortion care to legal limit in Scotland petitions.parliament.scot/petitions/PE...

A million Muslims live in New York City. We belong here, as does every other New Yorker. This is vile Islamophobia from the Councilwoman and it has no place in our city.

What I want from #biathlon this year: A Lampic win A Todorova podium An Estonia podium A Simon Eder top ten A Hofer Olympic medal A non french/norwegian/german overall winner A legendary relay meltdown

I want to be a bookshop cat.

Esk would love to see you tomorrow. We are normally closed on Sundays, but he didn't get enough chin scratches today on account of the snow, so... We're open 12-6pm Central time, every day, until December 24. ...I am available to pet the cat for you if you can't be here in person 🐈

Russia: grounded, but still going to the party. #russia #olympics #winterolympics #jokes

This white supremacist knew exactly what she was doing. She is a member of a sorority with very high academic standards. She submit a patently terrible essay that got awarded a zero. Not a low grade, a zero. Her instructor is trans. This was an intentional act of media manipulation.

Come see me tonight in #bristol! Live #comedy is the best way to spend a sunday evening! www.headfirstbristol.co.uk/whats-on/bri...

HOnestly Bluesky? This feels like a tall order. #adult #somature #funny

Strolia , Kulbin, Bakken and Hofer for top ten tomorrow. #biathlon

Chanel did a show in the New York subway and New Yorkers are like, great, it doesn’t smell any better, but now we can call it Urban Musk. Chanel No. 5 Train. The MTA still doesn’t have WiFi, but now the rats have pearls. #newyork #fashion #chanel #jokes #newyorkcity edition.cnn.com/2025/12/03/s...

Today is the last day of Jokevember! The theme is gratitude. So Here are two jokes on the subject. Thank you for tolerating this challenge. It has been fun and hard and I have enjoyed it a lot! #gratitude #jokes #jokevember #comedian