Just sobbed for 10 minutes, feeling this alone/isolated/unwanted sucks. I am not doing well and can only assume this is why people don’t want to be around me. I wish I wasn’t like this.

Big pro of masking besides taking care of the community I'm connecting with? Don't have to worry about RBF if folks can't see it 🤣 Never to late to put a mask on again, pals. Covid never left.

Feeling very <

i s2g the more my money gets played with the closer i am to snapping

work smarter not harder (I say as I continue to make things harder for myself)

Anyhow, constantly trying to tumble through the mental gymnastics of justifying my fondness of a person not equating to whether or not I have a crush on them is exhausting and I’m honestly fucking over it. Someone send me a gift certificate so I can get a massage for my chronic pain pls n thx.

When someone tells you “oh you must be jealous” despite you saying you aren’t jealous it really fucks with your whole perception on people and your relationships to them. Like nah actually I just really care about this person but if that’s too difficult for you to understand then move along girl…

Me: *gaslights self into thinking I have a crush on someone*

I'm so grateful to have close friends that are so skilled in their craft & kind. They are secure in themselves & don't see me as competition. They're happy for me whenever something good happens. And help pick me up when I'm down. I'm so grateful to have these people in my life.

Finally being surrounded by artistic friends who actually practice their craft and support me as I practice mine is the best feeling in the world. I’ve never been so invested in my art before 💛

"The Internet is not real life" says area man whose mother-in-law got her new job in part due to someone buying and manipulating an internet platform.

would anyone like to be my first order in several days 👉🏼👈🏼

just gonna try to work as much as possible to get this last 150$ or so,& just see if landlords will accept day of I'll check back in with y'all at dawn, please continue to reskeet and share it to ur pages and shop our stores! magikbeanshop.square.site artbyshayn.com #mutualaid #transcrowdfund

Hey friends, extending the Berry Fields Community Care to art mutual MagikBean, aka Thulani (no pronouns)! Thulani and partner need $150 to make rent before eviction goes through on the 15th. Please share, and if you donate, you can let me know and get gift art! #mutualaid bsky.app/profile/farm...

Someone send me dinner money please, I’m babysitting for this international couple at this swanky hotel downtown and the prices here are terrifying

White people truly be pissing me tf off lately

I’m so fucking done being disabled

I am so thankful for the life I have created for myself after so much chaos, trauma, and loss. I love having people in my life who show up for me and take care of me. People who don’t act like helping me is a hindrance or “too much.” It’s amazing and refreshing and makes me feel alive again.

Good morning, I’m going to a local TDOV celebration today highlighting the global majority and I’m so excited 🩵🩷🤍✨

Waiting to testify in the Texas State Senate Chamber 😐

My body is in so much pain

My life is filled with so much good now and I’m so happy about it because even when I’m suffering I know I don’t need to go through it alone and I can reach out to people without feeling like an inconvenience or like I’m gonna be “too much” or a burden and I just think that’s magical.

Fell off my scooter yesterday but I’m doing pretty okay aside from some swelling and soreness. For the love of all that is holy: USE YOUR DAMN TURN SIGNALS!!!

“It can’t be THAT bad!” When a non disabled person gets sick, it’s generally easy for them to rest & recover. They know it’ll only take a few days before the worst is over. When you’re chronically ill, it can be impossible to rest. An average day for us can be as bad as an ableds worse day.

Also I really fucking miss Silas

Like everything is hitting me about all the fucked up shit I was put through in December and I’m literally shaking

I’m also very mad

Anyhow, I’m sad

Bad brain thoughts rn, not good, not good.

It takes me a few days to process things and then I finally gather my thoughts on a situation and of course it’s at the most inconvenient time possible. Like I’m about to go teach a bunch of 5 year olds how to make paper plate butterflies…

Thought my social anxiety was just going through a rough phase because of all the shit that was happening in December but alas, it’s back and better than ever! 🙄

Got a bit of a headache but I have an event I’m supposed to go to tonight 😔 luckily it’s down the street from my house so I can leave and get home in like 10 minutes if I truly need to 🛵

Happy St Patrick's Day! Might I offer you cute clovers, dinosaurs, and rainbows for cozy coloring time? Support indie autistic artists and human made art for good luck! (b/c fk those A/I coloring books, they exist and make me so infuriated) 🛍️ ko-fi.com/s/f62b6a80b1 #ColoringPages #CuteArt #BSNM

I’m so freaking cold y’all 😭 idk why my body suddenly can’t warm up but it’s quite annoying

Power trip tactics aren’t gonna stop me. Hell hath no fury like a Scorpio scorn.

Not me coming up with reads rn

I’m also extraordinarily stressed rn

I’m really sad

My iPad screen cracked and all the quotes I’m getting are upwards of $600+ and I’m so upset

I’m very upset and starting to spiral, just typical Tuesday night shenanigans ✌🏽🤗

Like at least this time it’s not $50k but still, I’m genuinely shaking

The mere thought of possibly having let a significant amount of money slip right through my hands yet again is fucking with me immensely

I’m going to put my pjs on and get ready for bed early, nobody need me

Sigh, my body and brain and heart are so tired

🔴 Live NOW: chill sunday stardew stream ft. new emotes, channel point redeems, goal, incentive + milestone rewards! 🦁👾🌱✨ twitch.tv/butch_twink

I’m gonna do a chill lil stream today y’all! Gonna play some Stardew and share my new emotes and a small goal I have for the month (there’s gonna be incentives + milestone rewards)! Catch me live @ 12 Noon CST 👾 twitch.tv/butch_twink

✨ New Stream Schedule Alert! ✨ Got a new Tuesday Game too thanks to the lovely people @stardustgames.bsky.social gracing me with a stream key!🥹💖 Hope to see youse lovelies at streams this week 💖👻✨ Remember to follow @thevanirsystem.bsky.social & donate if possible! ko-fi.com/thevanirsystem

In Lieu of this freak out, does anyone fancy following me on YT in case I have to move over there in the future? 🥺 I also upload all my Stream Vods on there, so you'll be getting content either way 😅

Oh and I like Ashe and Suki Waterhouse now btw