It's the time of year for Festive Mental Health Wranglings™, now with added Health Concerns™! So, I have a choice between self-soothing via doom-scrolling, or, if I want to get things done, I've found I can motivate myself with boiling rage, which seems to cut through the thyroid issues nicely...

Sometimes, doing the right thing means taking a dose of laxative the night before running Speaking and Listening exams. I have a scan on Friday, which means I need to start on the prep tonight. Thursday at work in between might involve some... hijinks...

I have just been flayed alive by episode 4 of a kid's TV show. What even is City of Ghosts?

PRRR PRRR PRRR

I have wrongfully detained the cats this morning, and this is their gentle reminder of the principles laid down in UK law. "Yeah, habeas corpus, m[elon]f[arm]er"

Plagiarism is definitely something to be avoided, especially when taking a stool sample. Follow me for more bro-tips...

Hwa hwa hwa hwaaa Source: b3ta.com/board/11353550

Dear Lazyfit, Your advert asserts that I will see results after two weeks, and after 3 weeks my ex will be begging me to come back. Respectfully, fuck no. I had enough problems getting rid of her last time round, and that was 25 years ago. Yours, Me

Pictures, especially of people, in PowerPoint presentations should be cropped to fit and not stretched or squashed. I take this as seriously as it should be taken by everybody, ie extremely, you deformatory bastards

Right, can we all just agree that the first ever Nobel Prize for Cojones should be awarded to Greta Thunberg this year?

Now, my line of work often presents me with some excellent names, but Radio 4 just interviewed the father of Corporal Nimrod Cohen... Corporal Nimrod Cohen Just... Wow...

Gentle reminder for anyone living in the UK thinking about integration this morning: people need something to integrate with. If the White Flight left you with nothing but racist job ends, then yeah, integration is not a responsibility that's really yours...

The first page of a comic that my daughter drew. @neillcameron.bsky.social @jamiesmart.bsky.social

Oooo, massive anxiety spike... Now I remember why I don't apply myself at work... "Sit with my feelings", you say? No thank you, they're fucking terrifying...

Just gonna pop this here...

New crap joke just dropped

I've got a copy of Mrs Beeton's household management and I'm not afraid to use it

SADLY DISEASED @ewacat.bsky.social

I made a Lego robot

This film is astonishing. Beautiful, wordless, subtle and moving. If you really like little black cats and you're worried, it might be worth an important spoiler, which is in the comments:

Apparently, according to this motivational speaker, our students will rise if we speak life into them 🧙💀🔜🧟

"How am I doing? Yeah, getting there*..." * 'there' being an early grave...

Ooo, I haven't seen a flamewar like this since early noughties LiveJournal... 🍿

Chapeau...

For your consideration: Pippin, aka Chonky Pip

Audible: This is Audible Me every single time: Yes, yes it is...

Here's an alternate fantasy author who isn't an absolute cunt: Ursula K Le Guin

"Where in the world is Carmen San Diego?" is one of those questions that answers itself, isn't it

Feeling quiet, melancholy and mournful for the death of America. Have a tune: youtu.be/pD8bPUCAShY?...

The Boots own brand nicotine lozenges are called NicAssist and all my stupid head can think about now is knicker cysts... Thanks for that, brain...

Women's Rights for women, and nothing less. Men's Rights for men, and nothing more.

Fingers crossed for today's plane disaster...

News that Andr*w T*te and his brother are flying from Romania to the US, so, fingers crossed for today's air disaster...

@soverybritish.bsky.social In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God and the Word was: *slaps knees* Right...

Just seen Brie Larson own the character of Elektra, and I can't help thinking that a lot of the world's problems would be solved by having Brie Larson sing 'NO' for ages whenever a man is about to say something douchebaggy

Yeah, that's a certified BOP youtu.be/BVL-gCToAS0?...

New rule: you have to call it 'Nosferavous' until you've actually seen the film

I am mildly entertaining most of the time, but on rare occasions I am truly hilarious

I wasn't expecting Nosferatu to be so gleefully enjoyable, but they really committed, didn't they

Right, let's see what that twat's gone and-- Aw Jeez...

Today's theme song: Queen's Somebody To Love, but I've updated the words for a modern audience... 🎵 Can anybody find meeeee some Nazis to punch... 🎵

So help us God

Quick reminder that I'm not just a pretty face... I've got a nice arse as well

I hate to break it to you, Temu, but that is NOT how billionaires shop...

Friendly reminder for those who might need to hear it: if you break your New Year's Resolution, you haven't 'failed' or 'ruined the entire year'. Just start again tomorrow. Perfection is the enemy of good enough. Your goal is to be better than you were last year, no matter how slightly.

New Years Re[sv]olutions: - no eating in the car - don't go on that website over there - lean into tea - continue building tickler habit

Just seen Mason Alexander Park as Ariel in the Tempest. I definitely would, and so would my wife

Should all the Quentins be forgot? See, I don't think so. Some of them are quite good

Red cabbage is on

Okay, I'm going to say it: I like Christmas songs. The old ones are great, the new ones are okay, I've even welcomed Bublé into my life... But there's one thing that still really annoys me... The bit at the end of War Is Over, where the kids go ᴀᴀᴀᴀₐₐₐₐᴬᴬᴬᴬᴀᴀᴀᴀ... Just grates every time... 😖🪚