Simon shares his list of the best/worst German shop names, we discuss the fear of straight razors, and we finish on the world’s largest Knödel. Find out more on Ep 243. Out now!

Germans have a reputation for directness, sadly no one told 15-year-old me before our school exchange to Hamburg in 1998. Before leaving, I asked one of the German girls for her address so we could be pen pals. She looked at me quizzically and asked "Why? I won't write back."

What constitutes a weekend festival? We have no idea, but Nic reckons he might have been to one when his village closed the main street, built a stage, and Schlager singers started warbling. It's not Glastonbury, but it was certainly...something... Find out more on Ep 241, coming Saturday morning!

This week, Nic has an unexpected encounter with David Hasselhoff, and Simon buys some slate out the back of a van. We find out how to effectively flirt at a supermarket, and we finish on a German backpacker who survived the Australian outback. Find out more on Ep 240: "Animal + Verb". Out Now!

Barbecue culture is serious business in #Germany , with courses on how to become a grillmeister, and endless debates about what makes a proper Kartoffelsalat. What can a visitor expect should they ever be lucky enough to get an invite? Blog Post: bit.ly/3Uk2Npj

In this week's episode we cover Germany's most recent heatwave, the joy of a local Dorffest, and the start of the Women's Euros tournament. Episode 238 "Hitze spitze" out now!

It’s been hot this week in Germany, resulting in a lot of the weird and wonderful. The wonderful: a Dorffest. The weird: too much Tzatziki, much to Simon’s annoyance. We finish off with bad tattoos, England’s Georgia Stanway, and the start of Euro 2025. Find out more on Ep 238! Out now!

We've just tried Ratzeputz for the very first time. We bought this unique Schnapps during our visit to Celle, in Niedersachsen, which is where Ratzeputz is made. Amongst its varied ingredients, it contains distillates of root ginger. 🫚 I think I might possibly grow hairs on my chest after this! 🤯🔥😝

Shopping in #Germany is rarely described as convenient. Supermarkets are hard to navigate, payment methods aren’t uniform and customer service is disinterested. Is Germany a land of inconvenience culture and could that actually be a good thing? Blog Post: bit.ly/4lgN7PE

I'm often told that living in Bavaria is like living in a different century. Turns out Bavaria is actually really modern, even the Oktoberfest now accepts payment via mobile...which was invented in...*checks notes*...2015. So, we're only a decade out of date...

We have a new colleague in the office, freshly arrived in Germany. They just asked another colleague why the windows aren’t open, even though it’s blisteringly hot. I’m now watching them learn about the many dangers of Zugluft. Welcome to Germany baby!

I can't imagine @Germany without Kaffee und Kuchen, just as I can't imagine Britain without tea. Unlike the British though, Germans aren't judged on how they make their favourite hot beverage. Is this why coffee in Germany can be so hit & miss? Blog Post: bit.ly/3HRsL0m

Took daughter to the Bäckerei, we stand in the queue. She asks for Krapfen, I say no, they’re not for breakfast. Before I know it, the people around us have assembled an adhoc legal team and are forcefully advocating for my daughter. And that’s why we had Krapfen for breakfast.

When people in the UK ask me how life has changed since moving to Germany, I tell them I seriously underestimated how much Kohlrabi would feature in my day to day diet. “What’s Kohlrabi?” They tend to ask. “Exactly!” I reply.

I've never really understood why some people consider food in #Germany to be boring. Seems like a good variety to me...I can't pronounce half of it, but still.

After a decade of learning German via online courses, VHS, apps, and several unproductive "meet-ups" in various pubs, I've crunched the data on the most difficult elements of the language. Frankly, the results aren't that surprising.

Adorable. For the young folk here - we had maps and we argued a lot more. I’m a big fan of ADAC in Germany - automobile club. You can still go there and get a holiday pack of maps for your destination.

While working at a German company, I noticed managers used English buzzwords that most didn't understand. I started adding random English words & phrases to see if anyone would ask what they meant. It took weeks, the phrase that did it was "Das ist für mich nicht hunky-dory".

One of the funny things about living in Bavaria is the approach to drinking. If I cracked open a beer in the 10am meeting, my colleagues would be shocked. Bring a crate of Weißbier, Brezen, and a load of Weißwurst, and suddenly 10am drinking is some kind of "cultural event".

"OK Duolingo, I've been using this app for years and it's finally time to teach me something that I can actually say to a living breathing German person without them looking at me like I've been lobotomised" Duolingo:

What's the worst thing that could be delivered to your door in the middle of the night? I'm sure there's plenty of things, but I bet a giant wooden phallus is on that list. Find out more on Episode 232: Beerenverbände Ultras, Out Now!

Producer Simon considers visiting the Rundfunkmuseum in Fürth, while Nic & Simon wonder why a mysterious wooden phallus has appeared in a Munich street. They then try to explain a survey suggesting Germans have fallen out of love with Spargel. Episode 232: Beerenverbände Ultras, Out Now!

People often ask us where they should visit when they come to Germany, and we're honest, we always say the Rundfunkmuseum in Fürth. Producer Simon swears by it. Find out on Ep 232, coming Saturday at 9am!

That moment when you accidentally let slip to a room full of Germans that you don’t really like Spargel.

Sometimes it's hard explaining to people what Germany is really like, luckily I've made this handy diagram to help with that.

When I'm lacking motivation on a Monday, I remember the Erfurt Latrine Disaster (1184) where an assembly of German nobles caused a floor to collapse which sent them plummeting into a latrine cesspit below. 60 of them drowned in liquid excrement. Kind of keeps things perspective.

This week, Simon sees a terrifying omen on his way to the Bäckerei, England’s rose Harry Kane wins the Bundesliga, we find out if Munich is really the most unfriendly city…for expats, and finish with the anniversary of the Deutschlandticket. Ep 231: RudeGebiet, Out Now!

An entire podcast of only Simon singing for 30 whole minutes? Don't threaten us with a good time, but what could possibly make our erstwhile co-host so giddy? Find out on Ep 231, coming Saturday at 9am!

Learning to drive in #Germany is no easy feat, but once you pass, the Autobahn awaits. What’s it like to drive on the Autobahn and why should you be careful when discussing speed limits with Germans? Blog Post: bit.ly/4jNw86z

Supposedly, this map shows the beer consumption per person in each German state. Somehow the numbers still seem low.

I thought one of the hardest German words was "Eichhörnchen". Funnily enough, the translation "Squirrel" is equally hard for Germans. Once I learned "Eichhörnchen", my father-in-law suggested I also try the Bayrisch version, "Oachkatzl". Bayrisch is German on hard mode.

Germany has a new government, which means it’s time for former Chancellor Olaf Scholz to exit the stage, but not before a goodbye in the form of a military tattoo, some fiery torches, and a brass band playing his favorite songs. Find out more on Ep 230: Liebesübungen, Out Now!

It's not clear what season it is in Germany at the moment. One day it's Winter, the next Summer, with a little Spring chucked in for good measure. This makes it tricky to choose what to wear, though Simon has his own recommendations. Find out more on Ep 230, coming Saturday!

I love how birthdays in Germany are like an annual audit of whether your colleagues or their partners can bake.

Imagine waiting all your life to be Chancellor, only to scrape the election, form a government with your rivals, and then fail to be confirmed as Chancellor by members of your own party. Germany doesn't do funny very often, but when it does, it's a doozy.

Germany's Mittelstand, those small regional companies doing one very specific thing very well, is considered the backbone of the economy. This principle is also the backbone of Germany's crisp/chip industry, which has a massive range of products, all of them Paprika flavour.

Refusing an invitation in Britain: "I'd love to, but I'm afraid I can't, I have to be up early tomorrow. Seriously, it sounds like a lot of fun, but you know how it is. Perhaps we could get together next week..." Refusing an invitation in Germany: "No, I don't want to do that"

The Bäckerei ladies asked me to teach them some English phrases for tourist season. One asked about my dialect, so I gave her some Geordie. I'm looking forward to the French holidaymakers being met with "Alreet pet, what can a get ye!" in a heavy Swabian accent.

After a trip to the UK over Easter, Nic returns with more questions than answers, one being: how come it seems to be easier to buy cannabis in the UK illegally than it is to buy weed in Germany legally? Find out more on Ep 228, Out Now!

With the Easter chocolate still littering the floor, we discuss the Easter traditions of the Sorbain community, and an odd delivery service in the UK. We look at the new coalition agreement. We also share some rumours about the real origin of Germany’s humble Gummistiefel. Episode 228 Out Now!

As our listeners know by now, we're all about accurate reporting on the podcast...well some of us are when they're not spreading spurious rumours about the origin of the humble Gummistiefel. Find out more on Ep 228, coming Saturday!

For many migrants, the question of home can be a contentious issue and can be a cause of an identity crisis. What is home and can we ever return to it? Blog Post: bit.ly/3EDwpK9

It's Easter Monday, and unlike in Germany, here in the UK all the shops are still open, even the supermarkets. However, being the good German that I am, I'll be actively refusing to enter any shops out of a deep sense of solidarity. It's what German Jesus would have wanted.

The future might finally be arriving in Germany! Soon Germans won't need to submit paper photos when applying for passports...ok, that is underwhelming...and what does this mean for all the independent photographers across the country? Find out more on Ep 227, coming Saturday!

Complaining is common in Germany & the UK, but the British complain to break the ice, Germans see complaint as something to be fixed. British: "It's really hot today" "Yea, I know what you mean!" German: "It's really hot today" "Of course, you're wearing the wrong clothing"

Hey @40percentgerman.bsky.social and @maddox84.bsky.social , Best Biscuit? Discuss!

Erm…is this even a competition? Answer seems obvious to me…Penguins. No fuss, no messing, just quality tea and biscuit action.

I’ve no way of knowing, but an educated guess suggests Trump’s never seen Love Actually. I guess the question is, have any of Kier Starmer’s advisors?

Speed of friendship differs between UK & Germany, which can cause confusion. When I invited friends I made in Nürnberg to my wedding, one German lad had questions: Lad: "Why did you invite me to the wedding?" Me: "Erm...cos we're mates" Lad: "...but I've only known you a year"

Things I miss about Germany seconds after arriving back in the UK: - Brot - Never ending supply of Sprudelwasser. - "Doch" being an acceptable response to everything.