Me: “What if I had a catch phrase?” My partner: “You already have one: ‘I’m fine. It’s fine. Everything’s fine.’” Okay, Madame Web. Hit me with an ambulance, why don’t you???

Solid back and biceps day! It only took about three days to get back in the big boy groove after the holidays thankfully.

Now if we can just trade that neck vein for a bicep vein.

Day 1 2026. Is this the year I see 250? I’d like for that to be the case!

I’d love to see a comfy and smooth 250lbs bench press this year for mid-range reps.

Send beefy thoughts. First chest day of the year and I’m trying to take “Day 1” pics for later progress comparison.

If you’re just getting started in the gym, welcome! Some tips for being well-received: -put your weights away after you use them -wipe down your equipment -be cognizant of scrolling time -avoid super setting during peak hours -ask for help if you need it -be the welcoming energy you want to see

WMATA made the metro and busses free until 2am, and I just think that’s neat. Happy New Year! I hope he croaks soon!

The instant bond between a thirty something gay couple and a twenty something lesbian couple on the metro. We’ve got your backs; go live your pleasant lives this night, you sweet cherubs.

As a kid I always mixed up Savage Garden and Madison Square Garden.

To my Welsh following: I just got my first five point score on a question on Only Connect. I screamed.

Lore drop: there was a moment where I was the third highest ranked high school student in the United States on the Roman Life exam in the National Junior Classical League. So these straight dudes who say they think about Ancient Rome constantly can either get my level or get a new hobby.

Back on my nonsense. I really need my shins to stop whining.

That point in the bulk (lol maintenance) where the innie bellybutton flirts with the idea of becoming an outie.

Getting a little beefy still feels like wearing a costume, but it’s a costume I really like wearing.

Wow grief is a lot easier to experience if you just let yourself sit with whatever feelings come up without internal judgment.

Irish folks and Jewish folks can both bond over a latke that deeply slaps. The onions and potatoes are both struggle foods and yes they do belong at the party.

Home. Bathed. Remaining horizontal until further notice.

Running a cosmic horror one shot for folks that’s a prequel to The Grinch called The Grynch. He has stolen the concept of Christmas from Whoville.

James Gandolfini rest stop, you will always be that girl.

I could be the jump rope man

A seven year old: You look happy. Is it because you’re alone, lying down, and surrounded by cats?

Waiting patiently to Sandra Claws. (There are wild turkeys here and these two are going to lose their little feline minds if one waddles by.)

Drag name: Space Station Mall Princess

Christmas is stupid but dirty gin martinis are great

Voice reveal plus the two sentences that play in my head nonstop.

I think my mom is crazy because she talks to lizards and would fight anyone in a parking lot without hesitation. She thinks I’m crazy because I believe that abortion should be legal and covered by health insurance.

Hill I will die on: Uno is a bad game for dullards and babies.

i know i have “is skilled at wrapping gifts” energy AND YET

The journey to Plymouth begins.

I’d love to play board games but also maybe not see another person for three months.

My bestie is moving back to the US and it feels like such a bright light on the horizon.

I fell asleep on the couch and had a dream that everyone had a Digimon, but if you got too depressed it disappeared. So then I had to do an Amber Spyglass romp through hell to find my Gomamon.

I’m actively angry that my gym doesn’t have a posing room because I’ve never seen my back like this.

Someone got promoted to Familiar status.

I lifted with @fairygodhimbo.bsky.social and I survived to tell the tale. Barely.

Super old cooking show reruns are an exquisite vibe for a Friday night.

I feel like rancid garbage this week mentally about my gym stuff. And I’m generally fairly hard on myself. BUT. It would be insane for me to let myself think I haven’t made a ton of great progress this year. Individual data points don’t matter. The trend matters. I’m going to try to make 2026 huge.

Crunchatize me, Captain.

Petition to add to the Gay Agenda in 2026: The return of the Conversation Pit

Last day of work before the break. I feel like I am actively decomposing. Like an arm could just fall off and I wouldn’t think twice about it at this point.

youtu.be/B1rqMNiSOOc?... Clocked: 1. Frog and/or Toad 2. Easily overstimulated 3. Cardigan and beanie 4. Wiggling to quiet music 5. Alluring to the “women who enjoy watching mfm” crowd I feel seen and attacked.

1.) love to see my friends making some ludicrous gym progress 2.) take this as a sign to crop your tops

Imagine how powerful I would be if I were hairy, bearded, and any amount of melanated.

Least flattering picture of the week but at least my pecs are filling back in. From the side view only.

Low impact lateral hell machine.

There are three other buff redheads in the gym tonight and one irrationally muscular 6’3” teen. The teen’s form js unrepentant garbage but he is objectively stronger and bigger than I am and I am screaming.

I’ve been staring into the void and she is CHATTY today.

I want his life.

Imagine how much crazier road rage would be if cars had Emotes.