Can't believe the Mandalorian slam dunks Grogu into a volcano at the end of the movie.

It's become apparent that democracy cannot truly exist under capitalism.

Me, laying down with dogs: "Haha, yes! This is great!" Me, waking up with fleas: "How could this happen?"

Oh did you want 3300 words from me on today's IOC sex testing rules? An essay on the nature of evidence and why we can't seem to stop getting stuck in the same traps around sex and gender in sports? Wow lucky you!! www.coyotemedia.org/the-olympics...

Waves of reality are buffeting us. We're standing on the precipice of something. Whatever it is, it's happening.

Can there be a function where I can temporarily unblock someone so that I can see the context of whatever dunk fest is going on?

My wife does jigsaw puzzles like a junky. She's been saying "just one more piece and then I'll stop" for about an hour

Dear gentle reader, it happened again.

Hear me out ok. What about "six guys"??

If your beautician asks if she can film your pedicure just know you're gonna be on some Tik Tok account called The Foot Bitch where she starts by saying this is the worst shit she's ever seen.

AFL = Real time with pause

The only thing more powerful than hate is Hate 2.0

@beefanddairy.bsky.social has ruined my marriage. I was watching Bridgerton with my wife when a character mentioned Aylesbury. I reflexively said "Aylesbury" like a radio announcer - as you'd expect, she was confused. She was even more confused when I did it two more times.

❤️

During the good times, this would be related to a sporting event of some kind, but as it stands I'm not sure I wanna know what happened.

it's the big day

Wake up. Open phone. See that the country that hasn't won a war since World War 2 has invaded yet another country. Close phone.

It's 2026 now? What's next? 2027? This is unreasonable.

Shout out to Santa Claus, my favourite cryptid. He exists in a superposition in everyone's house and can only deliver presents when not being observed. I'm glad he uses his powers for good because he'd be terrifying otherwise.

And all the girls say I'm pretty fly for a Tiny Tim, who did NOT die.

Sorry liberal, I have already depicted myself as the Peanut Worm and you as the Boring Peanut Worm.

And Tiny Tim, who was NOT the very model of a modern major general...

Why do people say "rub salt in the wound" like it's a bad thing? Has anyone ever tried it? What if it feels good as hell?

Just saw a post for which I was not the intended audience. Instead of inserting myself as the main character, I simply let it float by me like a leaf on a stream. This is a power unknown to most people.

Can't take my mum anywhere. She's out here cuntifying the Grinch.

Yes ma'am #warframefanart

I'm sick of podcasters content farming with these shitty bait posts. Maybe they should pay their audience since that's where they get all their ideas 🤣

Mental image that just came unbidden to my mind: a vampire with its mouth open about to bite someone on the neck. On each fang is a tiny little condom. At the top of the image it says "practise safe necks" and the whole thing is styled like an educational poster.

Just vibing to some classical music from my youth youtu.be/i0FNUDLdT4A?...

AI is so good that they have to remove the option that let's you hide it so that you can experience how good it is

2025 Britney Spears be like, "My loneliness is unaliving me"

I think having @auntydonnaboys.bsky.social on @dropout.tv Game Changer would heal me, and I think having @brennanleemulligan.bsky.social on @grousehousetv.bsky.social Most Upsetting Guessing Game would kill me (and him), and I want to see both.

I bet YouTube us down because of thr crappy bubble style UI I just saw

On patrol at the camp and it looks like the guy next to me has had his neck snapped, but I never really liked him so I say "must have been the wind" and keep moving.

Israel Agrees To Go Back To Killing Palestinians On Less Frequent Basis

Grand unified theory of "It came from SomethingAwful" remains unbroken

You bloody ripper! #back-to-back @brisbanelions.bsky.social

Finally, a cultural climate where comedy can thrive! Can't wait to see how various talk show hosts discuss these current events.

We are living in a world still dealing with the repercussions of Lowtax

Live your life in such a way so that when you don't do anything for 3 days, millions of people aren't hoping you're dead.

If a snake gets a neck tattoo, where does it finish?

The modern world is listening to a video of a woman chewing on a toy banana while updating EBIT report spreadsheets

I'm gonna keep posting the word "mpreg" in the family chat until I ruin (or make) someone's day

Cooking in old grease adds flavour, but if the grease gets too old it'll kill you. The trick is cooking in the right oldness of grease. This is called "the grease rule"

My daughter keeps saying, "In the old days they..." and then describes something from the mid-90's

Look how they massacred my "boys", and, in some cases, "gals"

Watched the original Karate Kid with my 7yr old and I had completely forgotten the brutal details of the scene where Mr. Miyagi recalls his wife dying in child birth because while he was fighting in Germany his wife was in a concentration camp in the US for Japanese people

Great reporting by Marnie Vinall on @thefootywithbro.bsky.social pod today. Well said.

Two messy bitches are having a massive falling out on social media.