Putting your monetary faith behind someone with the handle mommunism is like putting your monetary faith behind someone with the handle erectilefunction.

I love to make purchases "for the low."

Ezra Klein is like this because he wants that “dumbest guy to ever live” crown when Donald dies.

Back on my bullshit chasing holds, K and WHIP in roto picking up random middle relievers that presumably exist. Looking good, uh... Grant, ah, Grant Wolfram it says here?

If you fuck with Graham Platner like at all my opinion of you is that you're a low-life pretendo try-hard loser.

We elected you to Congress to be a check on executive power, not a spectator. You swore an oath to defend the Constitution, not to protect a man who threatens democracy, threatens war, and threatens the future. Stop hiding behind voters. Stop punting responsibility. DO YOUR JOBS.👇

One time I saw Ben Sasse eat a whole grilled cheese off the floor (in halves so the cheese touched the ground, yuck).

MY GAS IS $4.79 A GALLON YOU OBNOXIOUS FUCK.

Missed opportunity for a McDonald’s drone to fly out some Big Macs or whatever.

Ether.

Just take & hold the nukes IMO. “We will not keep them on hand during times of peace” will lead to a bunch of hemming and hawing about what defines peace, conflict or war when you should have your defenses already sorted. Then you’re facing attack and you don’t have your nukes on site. Too late.

That’s right, she’s actually 7’1”, just like Kevin Durant.

“Can’t he just behave like a normal human?” Bitch I have been watching this show for many, many seasons and no! He cannot! What possesses you that you think he might?

Hey Iran! You’re not getting out of this war unless you also let us pay you two million dollars per boat! Suckers! It’s the art of the deal baby!

Y’all remember a few months ago when Michigan beat UConn?

Let me say this plainly: Iranian children have as much of a right to live and thrive as American children. Their babies MUST be as precious to me as my 6 niblings and my baby grandnib are IF I want them to have a future. If I want a future for my kin AND humanity, I MUST act like it. So must you.

This is what the French call “le finding out.”

Replacing the comedy show that airs from 11:35-12:35 with the one that airs from 3:05-4:05 AM isn’t gonna work.

It can never not be about dyin' Donald.

Good luck, refs.

"Senior Official Performing the Duties of Director" WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT

Mr. Tapper, I used to respect you but this is WOKE behavior that I won’t stand for. I was never watching CNN anyway but now I am extra never going to watch CNN!

“I don’t know” from the Commander In Chief is a prob-lem and the press should treat it as such. Would end other presidencies.

The two genders: ratings and gender

Contrast and compare. Happy Easter, we live in hell.

Oh, THAT Allah! Thank you NYT, I thought he might have been talking about one of the other Allahs.

Donald Trump is DEAD - ly serious about the new Salted Caramel Banana Stuffed French Toast Slam for a limited time at Denny’s. That’s four slices of Brioche French Toast stuffed with cream cheese filling, topped with fresh banana slices, salted caramel, and powdered sugar. Served with two eggs cooke

Fox News was just talking about Soleimani’s niece and grand niece getting arrested by ICE: “Both were granted asylum in 2019 under the Biden administration.” The question of who was actually president from Jan. 2017- Jan. 2021 continues to perplex Trump supporters.

The resist libs were right on this one. You gotta boil it down to something the average Jimmy can understand. Orange man bad.

the extremely online White House is facing an onslaught of jesterposting like never before seen, they’re being meme-mogged like a dog

Extortion. The word you want is extortion.

It's not ridiculous! You elected the antichrist and he's acting like it. Maybe don't do that again? I dunno. That's an option. You never needed to deal with any of this. You knew who this guy was.

I work with someone in their 50s, longtime smoker, longtime drinker, who is sick with "some new bug" every other week. We are trying to get it through their head that they've not had ten different bugs this year, they have one (potentially quite serious) issue that needs taken care of. BY A DOCTOR.

Classic ACC baseball rivalry.

I don’t know if it can be said enough, so I’ll be sure to do my part - Tiger Woods has been a big piece of shit for a very long time.

This, to me, is America first. Get those children jobs. Maybe Lockheed?

I like the tiny packs of batteries wrapped so tight in their blister packaging you have to poke your way in with something pointy. A free little game of roulette you get to play when you open your electronic nicknack.

"No one is really sure what" wasn't an option on Kalshi was it?

Tremendously low energy! SAD!

but then barnett and wurman and the rest are not actually doing scholarship, they are doing hack work for a political cause. they would strip citizenship from millions to advance their careers and standing. they are beneath contempt. i would respect them more if they owned up to it.

The jokes on you, he does all this stupid stuff on purpose.

I think people should only be allowed to quote me if they’re saying “I cherish you Brad, you’re a light upon the world” and if not, well, then I really don’t guess I could do anything about it either way.

I was saying.

Oh, the big accounts are acting out of pocket?

Wouldn’t you love to just whack him with an iron or a wedge

The pilot frames his letter of reprimand and hangs it on the wood-paneled wall of his bedroom.

The former head of homeland security’s CUCKOLD husband’s secret cross-dressing double life.

*watching a bunch of men who have dysregulated gonads due to old age and/or testosterone abuse turn the world into shit before my very eyes* women can’t lead they’re too hormonal