"The secrets of the pyramid" what secrets? They're big triangles

This thing that some pop stars have been doing where like, they strap into a harness and get flung around the stadium like they're Spiderman is so funny cuz someone is definitely gonna die doing it

look, the right wing's fever dream of the left is simply not true. no elected official no matter what their political persuasion is gong to go on TV and urge their constituents to read some hot man-on-man smut [aide whispers in my ear] wait what

call me crazy, but i think transvestigating artists for genAI use is maybe not healthy for anyone involved.

I've been awake for like, 2 hours and my phone is already at 20%, thsts how u know its been a good day of posting

What's up?

Thinking. Bout how some mothers have cocks..... holy fuck

I’m begging lefties and liberals to stop posting things that erase the reality of how violent the US has been to Indigenous people and Black people (among other US populations) ever since its inception and along the way. PLEASE. Do not copy conservatives by erasing history.

New years resolution is to regain FULL FEELING IN MY PUSSY IM SICM OF RANDOM SPOTS BEING NUMB

this is so me

If Back to the Future was made today, Marty McFly would've been spitting Playboi Carti bars at the prom like "ur not ready for this but ur kids are gonna love it 😏" also in my version he gets mercury poisoning because that's seldom used as a plot device and I think it'd be a good third act twist

If i was Shakespeare I would have just written Neon Genesis Evangelion while I had the chance instead of wasting time on those gay-ass poems

duuuude thats sick as hell *i suddenly close my eyes and look perfectly serene for an instant before opening my eyes again* i was just a tree in a ancient forest for 1 million years

The cute barista straight up laughed in my face when I told her how much sugar I wanted in my coffee

Call me Danny Elfman the way i be Bouncin on that dick like Oingo Boingo!

Holy shit y'all.... I heard a celebrity is gonna be starting a video podcast in his garage!!! This is gonna be huge

I’m so sick of people throwing their hands up and saying abolishing ICE isn’t possible right now. Abolishing ICE is extremely popular and calls to do so will only continue to grow, meanwhile conservatives manage to do incredibly unpopular things all the time because nobody stops them

Minneapolis always been one of the coolest places on earth, and I'm NOT just saying that because it's where I got my first handjob

With christ as my witness I vow to be the worst gamer to get the "proper" ending to silksong, even if it kills me Jesus Christ of Nazareth (who's couch I've been crashing on for the last 6 months and maybe been overstaying my welcome with): that's cool man

So-called "liberals" claim to be against gun violence but are OK with Ned Flanders cutting off Dwight Shrute's head in fortnite? Ok then.

Sucks when you want to masturbate but your wife is "working" on the "computer" in the "corner" of your "room"

The irony of everyone fawning over how Mark Carney is 'standing up' for Canada is that he is simultaneously eroding the few institutions that actually distinguish the Canadian state from the US, and those which theoretically could be used to shield Canadians from the disaster area to the south.

Call me Napoleon the way i make that Bonerfart send tweet

Toronto locals: "omg wtf is -20?" Expats from anywhere else in Canada: "heh, first time? 💅" my son crump who has every disease: "water"

What is a "Naan disclosure agreement" and why do they care what I had for lunch? 🙁

friendly reminder instead of saying “great set” say “wanna make out” and see where the night takes you

sometimes the hottest boys are girls

Ahhhhhhhh I got a pre-screen interview at Big Gaming Studio and I'm so nervous 🥴🥴🥴

Squeakerboxxx/The Cheese Below by Mousecast

Crafting a mousesona so I can hard launch my DJ career as "DJ Squeakerboxxx"

Call me MC Slime the way i goo on the mic

You can dance You can jive Having the slime of your life Ooooooo See that girl Watch that scene Digging the slimey queen

Showed my wife Yuno Miles last night and she was like "so his whole thing is sounding like a sea lion?" And I was like "oh you're not gonna believe this" and I pulled up the video he dropped 7 days ago, "Sea Lion Rap"

I am a tender queer vibes coder but not like, a Tenderqueer™️ VibesCoder™️ you feel me?

The sexual tension of Seventh Seal followed by three episodes of Rock Is A Lady's Modesty

I miss my huge girthy boner

Michael's Soft Wind Hole 11

Straight creaminn it

your catgirl’s boring as fuck dude where’s her bush

whys everyone dunking on early transition culture lately. can we be kinder to who we all used to be

Sometimes I'll hear a cishet white man earnestly use the word "transexual" instead of transgender and I'll think he's hyperwoke

Call me transexual Dallas Green the way I'm a joyless self-important prick

yall seen this before?

she drome my video till i cult my classic

severence is the one thats like what if u had a job and succession is the one thats like what if there was wealth