When you feel like God in Chili’s >>

Like this if you once got busy in a Burger King bathroom

Getting the final jeopardy question right is the equivalent of two good tokes and a really good slice of pizza

My daughter when it’s time to go to school even though there’s only two more days left: “I’m cold and I’m tired and I’m hungry. And my legs hurt and I don’t wanna go to school and….”

One month until The Bear

Me when I go to one of those soda machines with all the options:

I’ve been addicted to Reese’s sticks I need to lay off the candy but

“Move, bowel. It’s One A Day.”

Idea Theft is the only kinda theft I don’t rock with

anything you need in Houston is off Harwin Trust

Cuba's minister of energy confirmed reserves are gone — with just enough diesel left to keep hospitals online. The UN has classified Washington's blockade a humanitarian crisis.

The studios are stuck on expanding IPs even though it’s CLEAR the audiences want original stories

Per multiple recommendations, I’ve started that nature boy youtube doc Narcissism is deadly omg

Had a dream I had to fuck somebody up It was fun

My kid just told me she wants to play bass

I had two bags of funyuns today …I’d like a third

The Sharpest Lives and I Never Told You What I Did For a Living are sister songs

I love when the meal tells a story

Yeahhhh buddy

let women enjoy things. mind your business

Wait a gahdamn minute Alfre Woodard Geena Davis Alfred Molina And Bill Pullman are in a show together and nobody told me NOTHING

I don’t need to know my next bill is ready cause I JUST paid the last one Flo gon get cussed out today

The Sheep Detectives was so so good

I fell asleep on A Cure for Wellness….maybe I’ll rewatch #letterboxd #lastfourwatched #moviesky

had psilocybin and went to sleep Lucid dreamt so hard, I’m pretty sure I was visiting an alternate reality

Tell these ppl to step their taste buds up

I’m such a fat ass bc I eat all the stuff y’all hate. I eat all the stuff I hate too.

I’m munching on a butterfinger right nah

Ain’t no shame in my game

And really bad eggs

There’s no reason to still be supporting Chris Brown at this point 😭 what are you holding onto?? His music is trash plus who tryna watch a 6 foot 40 year old nigga with a lisp do backflips??

Absolutely shmacked before 8 am

Interestinggggg

Tryna gather a legion of crows to do my bidding….

A penny for your thoughts but a dollar for your insights Or a fortune for your diaster

Get it how you live, I guess

Fishing for saltines with the nip out??

Huh?

If the shit don’t move till I make it move then it need to move my way

I yearn I yearn for trivia

Oh yeah. Black men, your health is important. Please go to the doctor for regular check-ups.

What a long, strange trip it’s been…..in Vought’s basement

FANGORIA would like to wish a happy birthday to the iconic GRACE JONES. Never a better night to break in your favorite fangs and celebrate by watching VAMP.

But it was boorrriiinnngggg Huuuueeeeeyyyy

I’m hungry!

I just had an unhealthy amount of donuts…