Children in Need is on tonight, so I donated early. Because I KNOW myself: give me two glasses of wine and one heart-melting montage of brave kids doing heroic stuff, and suddenly I’m pledging my entire life savings, my air fryer, and possibly my left kidney. #Childreninneed #BBC #Donate

The BBC has apologised to Trump… which is sweet, considering the country is still waiting for what critics call his apology tour: border drama, tweet-storms, tariff meltdowns, and that whole ‘alternate-reality election’ arc. But sure—start with the BBC. Baby steps. #BBC #Trump #Apology #Panorama

The forecast says “rain for seven more days,” which sounds suspiciously like a threat. I’ve got TWO dogs tracking in enough mud to open a Shrek-approved swamp. I’ve mopped so many floors I’m basically Cinderella, but with worse posture and zero singing mice. 🌧️🐾🧹😩

Took me about 10 seconds but sooo funny🤣

♥️🐕🥰

Your cat when you're choking to death in your apartment

Told myself “no more bonsais.” Then I woke up surrounded by 12 new pots, branch cutters and a shipment of akadama. Started with one, now I’m a tiny-tree landlord with 57 needy tenants. I’m not obsessed. I just rearrange my life around tiny leaves and growth charts. #Bonsai #Trees #Obsession #Plants

We stocked up on enough Halloween candy to fuel 3 hyperactive toddlers, 2 dentists, and ONE caffeinated raccoon. But thanks to rain that made Noah jealous, ZERO trick-or-treaters turned up. Now it’s just me, a mountain of sweets, and the looming fear of diabetes. Worth it. 🎃🍬☔ #Halloween #Sweets

That’s the best impression of the air being let out of a balloon that I’ve ever heard 🤣😂🤣

Mama is so patient

You taught him well 😂🤣😂

Protective pup. I suspect the cat is going to play the long game though...

“Guys, correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe I’m sensing a lack of trust here, and frankly, it hurts my feelings.”

“They’re not Americans, but they’re people, they’re souls.” It’s a powerful statement. Now imagine if he applied that same humanity to immigrants, refugees, and families seeking a better life in the U.S. Every soul deserves dignity.

Am I the only one who has no idea what the Bee Gees are actually saying in Night Fever? I’ve been listening since 1978 and the only lyrics I’ve confidently decoded are “Night Fever, Night Fever.” The rest is just high notes, disco vibes and emotional falsetto gibberish.

My heart is melting🥰

Trump blames Democrats for the Shutdown. If GOP proposals are extreme and detached, that’s like blaming your ex for not taking you back when you showed up at 3 a.m. with a boombox blasting Nickelback. Sure, technically they could let you in—but buddy, you’re the problem. #Trump #Shutdown #GOP

Bragging about size is like boasting that you own a fax machine. Yeah, it’s chunky and takes up space. But when it’s time to perform? It screeches, overheats, and leaves you wondering why you didn’t just go wireless. 📠🙄 #wordle Wordle 1,566 4/6* ⬜⬜🟨⬜⬜ 🟨🟩⬜⬜⬜ 🟩🟩🟩⬜⬜ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

I often think about pizza. It’s round. It’s cut it into triangles. Then they put it in a square box. That’s three shapes fighting for dominance in one meal. Add stuffed crust and suddenly it’s a cylinder. It’s less dinner, more geometry exam with extra cheese. #Pizza #Math #Shapes #Food

Kudos to the brave soul who hit the escalator’s off switch? Karoline Leavitt’s foaming at the mouth like a teenager losing it over a Wi-Fi hiccup. I say slap a shiny star on Hollywood Boulevard for this hero’s significant contributions to the entertainment industry. #Trump #Escalator #UNAssembly

Ha

💚 If you love Temple Spa, it would mean the world if you considered ordering through my sister’s website. She’s battling Lymphoma and is using this as a way to stay positive, fill her time, and earn a little extra income. Your support would make such a difference. 💚 www.templespa.com/denisehollowood

History has proven repeatedly. Lunatics will rise to power, again and again, on tidal waves of aggressive nationalism and intolerance, even in places where it seems utterly incomprehensible. Dan Brown – Origin 2017

The world’s oldest monumental olive tree in Crete — 2,000 to 4,000 years old, has an awe-inspiring nebari and is still producing olives. My partner Ian, crouching beneath it. One has stood for millennia. The other stands by me. No contest. #TrueLove #Soulmate #Bonsai #Trees #Nebari

This is Finny. He doesn’t go chasing waterfalls. He carefully studies their timing and arrives in advance. 14/10 very impressive (TT: jordancain70)

Took a test. Turns out I don’t have COVID. I just have the kind of cold that makes you question whether decapitation might be the cure.

Ceremonial Welcome! State Banquet! I’m just saying if arrogance, spray tan, and word salad had a baby, it’d sue you for custody and then forget what it was talking about mid-sentence. WE DON’T WANT HIM HERE! #Humanrights #NeverTrump #Politics #Unwelcome #TIAC (RIP Janey)

My crazy Chihuahua treats the anti bark device like a playlist. I cycle through pitches like a DJ, and she just keeps belting out her own mixtape while I play with invisible lasers. The irony? My other Chihuahua turns into a Zen master as soon as he sees it. #Chihuahua #Dogs

Having watched a few more enlightening videos I realised my first attempt at Tanuki looked like firewood with ears. Armed myself with a fresh chunk of wood and launched Juniper Tanuki: The Sequel. #Bonsai #Juniper #Trees #Tanuki #Redo #Tryagain

👏 Bravo, #Wordle gods. Felicitations on unearthing a word that hasn’t been used since John Gower high-fived Chaucer for inventing the fart joke in The Canterbury Tales. Wordle 1,524 4/6* Wordle 1,524 4/6* ⬜⬜⬜⬜🟨 ⬜🟨🟨⬜⬜ ⬜🟨🟩🟨🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

🤣🤣🤣Brilliant!

Looks like somebody skipped their anti-rant meds this morning🤣 #DumpTrump #NotMyPresident #AntiTrump

I’ve sat through apocalyptic thrillers like Outbreak, Contagion, and The Day After Tomorrow, but honestly, nothing quite matches the cataclysmic chaos unleashed by the #StrictlyComeDancing curse when the proverbial shit hits the glitterball.

The girl’s having absolutely none of it. Zilch. Nada. Therapy Dog says rejection builds character. Maybe I need mahjong lessons. Or a restraining order from reality. Therapy Dog also eats crayons. #bonsai #deadpool #therapy #ryanreynolds #dogs #mahjong #flirting

This is spot on! I've been to IKEA once. I've climbed Ben Nevis once. I found the latter somewhat easier to endure.

A different take on using wire to create a #bonsai

People who stop to watch caterpillars inch along leaves, notice the dewdrops on morning spiderwebs, and whisper 'thank you' to bees pollinating flowers - they're remembering what the rest of us have forgotten.

It's a mame mushroom bonsai raft!😀 #Bonsai #Mame #Trees #Mushrooms

My very first attempt at a Tanuki Juniper Bonsai. It's a work in progress. Many cable ties used🤣 #bonsai #tanuki #juniper

Wordle: 1 Me: 0 It’s not like I based my entire self-worth on solving a five-letter puzzle. It's fine. I'm fine. Everything is fine.😳 #Wordle #Puzzle #Failure #I'mFine Wordle 1,497 X/6* ⬜🟨⬜⬜🟨 ⬜🟩🟨🟩⬜ ⬜🟩⬜🟩🟩 ⬜🟩⬜🟩🟩 ⬜🟩⬜🟩🟩 ⬜🟩⬜🟩🟩

An update on the urban yamadori wisteria. June and July. #bonsai #wisteria #trees

John Cleese still has it. "That was back when the BBC knew what they were doing." Talking to Dermot O'Leary on BBC Radio 2. #BBC #JohnCleese #MontyPython #FawltyTowers

First time I saw Jaws I was 11 and Roy Scheider was just an old man. Now I'm watching it again and thinking "Wow. He was pretty hot." #Jaws #Shark

Still lounging. Still shameless. He's not discouraged. Flirting is just foreplay for rejection anyway. #deadpool #ryanreynolds #flirting #rejection #bonsai

I hope @richardbranson.bsky.social knows how many people will leave Virgin now that 360 runs on the Horizon platform. HORIZON FFS! The Post Office scandal didn’t ring enough alarm bells?! Lost recordings, new ones vanish. Netflix sign in every time—and no sign of the engineer who was due 12–4. 😡😡😡

All those years of reading were just practice for being humiliated by a five-letter word I was 98% sure didn’t actually exist. #wordle #definitelyamadeupword Wordle 1,487 5/6* ⬜⬜🟩🟩⬜ ⬜⬜🟩🟩🟩 ⬜🟩🟩🟩🟩 ⬜🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

When your therapist is booked, but the dog still listens. #bonsai #deadpool #therapy #reading #dogs

After 5 guesses - existential crisis! Hanging by a thread but the streak lives on. #survivor #wordle #phew Wordle 1,482 6/6* ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ 🟨⬜🟨⬜⬜ ⬜🟩🟩🟩🟩 ⬜🟩🟩🟩🟩 ⬜🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

When the sky dreams of mountains, it makes clouds like these. #mountains #peakdistrict #lakedistrict #clouds

Wordle 1,473 5/6* ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜🟩⬜⬜⬜ 🟨🟩⬜⬜🟩 🟩🟩⬜🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 It's like calling Shakespeare Shakes. English librarians will be shedding a tear. #wordle