Coworker came up to my desk to ask a question and I had the Chipotle Wikipedia page pulled up on my monitor OMG I have to be killed

Leaving work early on this lovely sunny Friday with the windows down sipping Dunkin’s iced coffee YASSSSS

Rewatching mad men and omg I am feeling hungover just by watching these divas put them back…milk and vodka at the work desk…we used to be a proper country.

Bf took candid of photo of me working out at the gym oh I’m humiliated ….

Dropped favorite lab marker in pipette waste box

Is there anything a cherry Coke Zero can’t fix … I don’t think so

Canned Starbucks energy drink I drank on morning commute tasted exactly like a Twisted Tea

Hadn’t heard the phrase “give up the ghost” my entire life til 2 weeks ago, and since then I have heard 3 different ppl use it in conversation … something shifted

Renewing my Heated Rivalry rental at the Easter dinner table surrounded by family

Baker who sliced my sourdough bread handed to me and said “enjoy yourself” … you know I will!!!!

How it felt to serve curls while telling my coworkers what to do (they were annoyed but did it anyways cuz they know I’m right)

Drank a Celsius on an empty stomach earlier and omg…I felt like I was on whatever Slayyyter was singing about.

Kim Petras filmed a music video in the park that I walk through every single day but i somehow didn't see her

Bloomf and I spending all our time at the gym discussing new fast food menu items 🙂‍↕️

Tostitos scoops bag advertises “no added MSG” … like okay I wasn’t expecting you to do that anyway? Whatever..

Sky Ferreira playing at Wawa

An air fryer is such a coworker appliance..

Had to use find my iPhone to figure out which gym locker my stuff was in cuz I forgot

working on a Massachusetts collection

If Emmymade has 1 million fans, I am one of them If Emmymade has 5 fans, I am one of them If Emmymade has 1 fan, that one is me If Emmymade has no fans, I am no longer alive If the world is against Emmymade, I am against the entire world

Good hockey trade will have you caged on the Zamboni…

Forgot to pack utensils and no time to go to cafeteria so I am eating my roasted turnip and rutabaga with a coffee stirrer at my desk

Had to look the waiter in the eye and tell him I wanted the “fuck me noodle bowl” … and tbh it tasted so good and was worth the embarrassment

Silver Linings Tradebook

Runny nose, temperature probe in lab malfunctioned, AND my Clif bar got stuck in the vending machine…it’s okay I’m okay.

Do NOT listen to LUX at the gym…I got goosebumps in my short shorts on the hip abductor machine!!! 😭😭😭

Just saw Meredith marks…I’m shaking.

I’m so sick…

The concept of the listicle as a literary form …

standing in front of the fun house mirror at the gym that makes me look skinny, standing there for 20 min, and logging it as a workout on my Apple Watch

Inventing new ways to clog bloomf toilet..Nobel prize loading

love our boys so much 🥰💕❤️ @papa-choosy.bsky.social @heykp.bsky.social @365fartygirl.bsky.social @italianetic.bsky.social

Didn’t have eggs to use in the cornbread recipe so I subbed in strawberry Greek yogurt and it was scrumptious…..I love overcoming

Love watching the bear cuz it’s like…what if Chicago was real and you were anxious in it.

Ruining the vibe of this eagle urinal space by doing my daily Duolingo on full brightness

Streets are saying I painted Robert Frost…I’m not commenting on this matter.

Baltimore House music fest with da beebeeeeees

my therapist: Lisa Rinna M&M IS real. She can love and support you Lisa Rinna M&M:

Walked past this friend group at Butch Gardens and overhear one of them say “omg those are the gay guys we saw scootering here earlier” … our impact 🙂‍↕️

happy pride coke freestyle

Using bloomf’s bidet at the after just for the kii

Charged laptop, poured myself a mug of tea, and ready to file my taxes.....

Drinks so good at the local bar I shook my waitress’ hand..

Actually have to do work at job today

A very country night in the lovely city of Baltimore 😍

Me whenever Dolores speaks on traitors

The concept of having eating sharp cheddar with fig spread lunch….HOW decadent