who i need to be in season 2 of heated rivalry is jacob wysocki's alter ego, jacob ice hockey

opening today's mini and immediately getting psychic damage

a tiger mom?? in my gay hockey tv show??

how could my OWN FATHER do this to me (cooking delicious smelling food for a dinner party but the dinner party doesn't start for another 4 hours)

Sick! Again! I'm over having corporeal form, I would like to be a being of pure energy now. A floating consciousness in an infinite void, bound only by my capacity to contemplate novel thoughts.

having a breakdown from trying to explain the difference between UMfahren and umFAHREN

every year i thank the lord that my family doesn't do the whole big christmas thing. no gifts. just 5 am mass if you're up early enough.

one time my friend went to hug me goodbye as he was leaving the hotel room i was staying in and i genuinely thought he was reaching for the door so instead of hugging him back, i opened the door for him and showed him out

a surprising ability i possess is getting the end of year flu despite living in the tropics and also not leaving the house

i keep forgetting that people genuinely have kids the same way i keep forgetting that americans are real

i'm a woman the way waves are waves and not particles

hab auf Deutsch geträumt, und wann ich kaum wach war, ich hab das Deutsch korrigiert, das ich in meinem Traum gesprochen hab. ich werde verrückt, man.

amy pond deserved better

looked up jack wolfe's age and breathed a sigh of relief that he isn't another super talented and skilled person who is younger than me and will send me into a spiral about not having done anything in life. i'm very normal and mentally sound

Can all the folk who just got reminded that they’ve listened to a tonne of music on streaming this year, have a look at the music they heard and buy some on bandcamp today? 🫡🙏🏼

ich muss für meine scheiß c1 prüfung (die ich dreimal nicht bestanden hab) vorbereiten und lernen, also natürlich mach ich fast nichts außer jan böhmermann schauen. und natürlich auch weine ich, weil ich DEUTSCH lerne

oh my god i thought ice cube and ice t were the same person thus entire fucking time

no I'm not "posting through it." it's posting through me

i'm indonesian but i mostly watch youtube videos in english, so sometimes YT dubs indonesian ads and it is awful every time. I assume it's AI because it fucks up the context of words like "ibu" which it translates to "maam" instead of "mom", despite being spoken by a child to his mom in the ad

just explained prime numbers to my mom and what fuschia is to my dad so i think i am capable of becoming an elementary school children if the children were in their 50s and like pretty chill about it

concept: drag king named Sir Traline

drinking milo and thinking about the psych ward nurse who saw me getting yelled at on the phone, took my phone, and yelled back at the person yelling at me. i owe you my life

reading Das Parfum and thinking about Dr Ally Louks every step of the way

ah yes the new dave franco movie: NYSM (new york stack mexchange) i'm in so much pain

so many rom coms are just like: HEARTBREAKING: the most beautiful woman you've ever seen falls in love with just a guy! does he make it up in personality? absolutely not!

most of my music is now up on bandcamp :) darlenelesmana.bandcamp.com

gua sha wouldn't be as popular if indonesians popularized it because imagine if an influencer had a kerokan routine

explaining citizens to a german: so imagine a Bürger

growing up, whenever i had food that was too spicy, my family would tell me to drink piping hot tea. and i think that's what catholicism is all about

john oliver will go on a long ass tangent for no reason and then go "but the point is" and then continue the tangent he's so me

What do you mean there's straight people yaoi?

my dad explained to me the meaning of this song when i could barely understand english. if anything radicalized me early on, it was this. jesus was an outcast. jesus was from current day palestine. jesus would be appalled by the way his believers treat the outcasts, the weak, the weary, the foreign

seizing the means of hormone production

The Songbird out midnight tonight orcd.co/7ekngrj

*cocks gun* no gmail, i don't need an AI summary of the two sentence email i just got. *aims at computer* especially when your summary is LONGER THAN THE DAMN EMAIL

yesterday, i watched brennan lee mulligan on last meals. today i tried my best. coincidence? i think not

paul robalino is the only man

the horrors may persist but by the grace of god so do @evanbirnholz.bsky.social sunday puzzles

succubus - female demon that seduces men incubus - male demon that seduces women vengabus - non-binary demon that likes to party

@garybrannan.bsky.social prepared me for this moment

bread is so fucking good dude

as an indonesian, people calling anybody an islamic communist is really doing my fucking head in. literally what are you talking about

Can’t believe Dick Chaney couldn't even last four days into No Nut November

he's a socialist so he's OUR mayor, right? i need this

I love their films but A24 is simply an impractically small paper size

i love sinners as much as i love slapping on some fake blood and calling it a costume

i'm making diabolically incoherent shit in my DAW rn for a thing where people have to listen to it no matter how stupid i make it

it's like a taunt

tiktok has put me in the swiss german algorithm ICH VERSTEHE NICHTS i barely understand HOCHDEUTSCH

genuine quotes from my psychatrist appointment psych: did you know that hitler did cocaine me: have you seen the movie salo