i dont want to die but i feel like everyone would be better off without me

me when .. me when i cannot react normally (SOMEBODY SEDATE ME)

i need to learn how to cook yall

guys so i gained weight and i might fucking kms I FEEL SO SHIT RAHHH

how many more years can i get away with saying “this is my last year being fat”? like this is getting ridiculous, the first time i said that was like 7 years ago🫩 i just look like a fool atp

TW// SH

i accidentally just one swiped beans 💀

i finally did it, i had the abortion unfortunately now i feel extremely suicidal and want to stab myself :p

okay well maybe i should just kms ! have my cake and eat it too 😝

back on that ED shit 🕺 (currently at 810 cals) im using Lose It! to track my calories :3c currently on a plan to lose 1 1/2 lbs per week i want to go harder but i also know that if i do i will start binge eating again 😞 (limit is 1k) also hoping to workout again cause i want to lose more hehe

i feel so social but i got no friends 💯

maybe i am just meant to suffer

sometimes i forget my bpd affects anyone but me until i explode or feel way too much and take it out on those around me me and my lover go to couples counseling and our therapist told me that i push him away out of a fear of being abandoned or rejected and fail to trust him the way he deserves

today the kms meter is average

everytime i do anything i always end up wanting to kill myself just a little more. i am just so tired of feeling like a failure and a shit person .

i wish we never got this fucking dog

oh my god im gonna start fucking tweaking WHAT ARE YOU ONNNNNNN BRUH

guys i am losing all desire to live i rlly need to see someone before i go insane

i need to see a therapist again cause i feel so deeply suicidal

everything hurts my emotionally fragile heart i wish i was just fucking normal or that i could just remove my emotions entirely ... what is the point of having the ability to feel empty if my brain DOESNT FUCKING USE IT RAH

i feel like shiiiiiiiit 😛😛

alsoooo lowkey on the verge of relapsing in my ex (idk why i just feel like it's gonna creep up on me) .. so thats cool 😝

okayyyyy so life update !! i am pregnant (planning on getting an abortion) i have a job now (at a crystal shop!!) we got a dog :3 this week is going to be busy, i can just tell already

🫥 feels like a chore

why would you say that, way to kill any passion i had

okay fuck me i guess ☺️🔫 thats fine its fine its cool

im going to skin myself /hj

i hate being so jealous can i just please be fucking normal IM ON MY MEDS!! I AM LISTENING TO A DOCUMENTARY AND DRAWING !! WHYY IS MY MIND SO AGAINST MEEEE !!!!!! RAHHHH I FUCKING HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE I HATE I HATE I HATE I HATE I HATE I HATE I HATE I HATE I HATE I HATE

who up reminiscing on the childhood they coulda had 😹😹😹

i love my husband but i am watching him play the sims and the outfits he chose for his sim are .. interesting .....

i feel so stuck and so unproductive but so put down all the time i just feel so frustrated maybe i made a mistake maybe i should've been alone

sooooo its been a while :p i ended up moving with my husband to VA so thats been cool!! ive only been here like a week (2 this saturday) and its been nice :3 i feel so many good and bad things tho? idk its definitely just been interesting

i e being so unstable these meds need to be upped istg

guys i fucking hate having such obsessive issues i feel fucking crazy i deadass might relapse like so fucking honestly

yesterday was such a good day and today has been so awful ive been anxious and on the verge of crying and throwing up why do i somehow make small issues so massive i fucking hate everything about myself

guys life had been so stressful yesterday was so good and today is just awful ive been crying half of today

saving this thread for me later (whenever i actually get back into a honeymoon era # binging)

ive gained weight im killing myself :p

why do i always fuck up i hate everything

i need to lose weight i need to change i need to lose it god fucking kill me

im so fucking angry i hate him i hate feeling why do i feel so angry nothing happened this is so unwarranted someone put me out of my misery why can i never just be happy GOD SOMEONE KILL ME !!!!!

i just realized why am i literally 5 followers away from 300 🧍🏽‍♀️

my eating habits are awful lol i keep getting high and eating bc munchies but ill stop smoking when i move 😔

babes i love my husband sooooo much and im making a scrapbook for our 1 year anniversary of our relationship thru time im so excited, i told him abt it (he hasnt seen it) but he said he'd love for it to be a tradition for us and dhskdjskdh <3 <3 <3 hes such a good man

guys december was awfully dramatic

guys are audio fixations a thing because i CANNOT go without audio (commentary, true crime videos, documentaries literally ANYTHING)