I CANT TAKE MY NOSE PIERCING OUT IM TOO HOT AND BOTHERED 😭😭😭😭😭

“Did you stay up and watch the game” No fuck off asking 😂😂😂😂

Doug duties this weekend, so far I’ve shown him Shrek 2 and he’s found a big stick 🫶

Hayfever is kicking my asssssss

I love listening to the thunder ⛈️

Office doesn’t have aircon… pray for me 😭

The gym is disgustingly warm

Truly obsessed with the AI fruit videos on TikTok, do I need help???

I hate child locks on laundry detergent pods, bring back natural selection

Back to work today ✌️ Had a brill time at Liseberg 🇸🇪🎢🫶

Downloaded new ios27 beta … I hope this is indexing slowness

No comment 🤭🤭

I have heartburn so bad and no one in Sweden seems to know what it is 😭😭😭😭😭

Everyone at the spa is skinny and toned and I’m here like…

Made it to Liseberg 🎢🇸🇪

Off again x see yaaaa

No stop 🤭🤭

WWDC26 ready! 

Botty B Bound 🥴 Silly idea for a Sunday 🤭

Are Facebook ads okay?? What does this say about me 🫣🫣

✅ Another year older ✅ Qualified lawyer ✅ Showed @jparcher.com my second home 🇪🇸 Madrid has been as magical as always!

Hiyaaaa 🌞 @jmcain.bsky.social

Monster chopper? This way?!? Would be rude not to 🤭🤭🤭

We’re heeeeere x

🇬🇧MAN >> MAD 🇪🇸 VERY excited for @jmcain.bsky.social to finally take me around Madrid 🇪🇸✨

Madrid bound 🥹☀️ @jparcher.com

Good morning😴❤️

Marina was so fun last night ✨🏰🕹️ 📸 @jmcain.bsky.social

Does anyone else love eating ice 🧊

Why did last night feel like I was sleeping in a McDonalds apple pie 🥵☀️🔥

This weather is stunning! Anyone else noticed ☀️🤭

Doug cuddles yesterday was v wholesome 🥰

Today can fuck all the way off

Taking my car for her first MOT, I hope she passes, been studying really hard x

Oh my god the gym is hotter than @jmcain.bsky.social’s laptop running The Sims with all 47 mods.🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵

Good morning banana fans x

Anyone else’s instagram stories loading grey?

Happy Wednesday! Ever since I was a young boy I knew I wanted to meet strategic KPl's and work cross functionally across teams 🙂‍↕️ what a day to do it

Lovely after work sauna sesh 🧖‍♂️

good morning to the wakey gorilla and the wakey gorilla only x

Happy 25th anniversary to my main man Shrek 💚💚💚💚💚💚💚

They way I keep posting more instagram instants every time I see someone hating on them 🤭

Out of office on for the rest of the week

Let’s smash this office day out

Making this my personality now so I dunno I guess follow me if you wanna 🏋️🤸‍♀️💪🏻 hevy.com/user/jp_uff

Greggs right after the gym 🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷

I don’t wanna get up to do leg day

Just tipped over the robot vacuum and thrown a coffee all over the kitchen… it this the robot uprising 🤖🤕

I’ll say it… I don’t think The Devil Wears Prada 2 was that good 🤷