I might be a horrific culmination of everything that is horrible about both my mother and father

I would like to stop hating every part of myself

People who like summer are SICK and TWISTED.

what a year this week has been

perhaps it will be better if i simply surrender to the world around me

I was sober for almost two weeks, not a drop of liquor touched my tongue, and now I’m back to it. I love not being able to crush the worst parts of me

I probably deserve every bad thing that has and will come to me, can't speak for everyone else but karma is probably doing a good job with me

Perhaps I’ll go home to Denver and find an alley to curl up and die in

I think maybe dying is a better alternative to living like this

I hate wanting to be vulnerable with someone and then actually doing it, I talk so fucking stupid whenever I actually open up and it makes me feel ridiculous

happy birthday to marijuana, happy birthday weed

Favourite protest sign of the day - #handsoff #protest #resist

I’ve actually decided that I’m so consistently in such a ridiculous amount of pain that I will be giving up and not caring about anything anymore

I can’t tell wether my hands are shaking because I haven’t been drinking the past couple of days or because I’m in so much pain. I can’t even tell if this is a symptom of withdrawal or physical pain and it’s driving me nuts

Doctor appointment scheduled, time to see what is actually afflicting me

Atp I’ve accepted it, I’ll just wait for an opportune time for me to scuttle off and find a corner to die in

I love knowing that I’m basically guaranteed to get one of my families many horrible medical problems! It’s just about finding out which one, maybe I’ll get diabetes, or cancer! Fuck maybe I’ll get really luck and end up with Alzheimer’s!

"I sell crusade and crusade accessories"

I think despite my actual knowledge, that I am one of the stupidest fucking people I know

still a fan tho

I get to visit the old man next month!

I fucking hate distance, I just wanna go see a dying old man I don’t have $600 for a fucking flight. I just wanna see him before he passes and I don’t have the fucking money for it

“We’re all here for you!” I’d actually rather gouge my eyes out with a spoon and cut off each of my fingers individually than let you see me at my lowest.

For my next magic trick! Watch as my drive to do anything disappears

Lowkey scared my hair is starting to fall out because of stress, I feel like I’m shedding more hair than I normally do when I brush my hair and shit. If my hair thins down like crazy and doesn’t look how it does now I’m killing myself

I’m wondering if the extended breakdown I’m going through is just a mid life crisis, most males from both sides of my family haven’t lived past fourty. Except like my grandpa and one out of five of my great uncles. Maybe my body just knows

I genuinely feel like there’s a knife being twisted around in my solar plexus and my left thigh, it hurts so much I want to puke why the fuck can’t my body be normal

Crying in the work bathroom before my lunch break type shit

hi welcome to another dustin breakdown because I can't figure out why I feel the way I feel or why I can't just be normal

The only people who have ever actually loved me loved me for the worst parts of me and that feels fucked up and I hate it

Disappearing never to be seen again is starting to feel really appealing

What if I just filled my head with buckshot and was done with it

im sleepy