classic crow blunder ate a big lunch and i still have to work for three and a half more hours

making a playlist of songs with the perfect bpm for my work walk speed

using a new music app, starting off strong

until i do this you’re all just gonna have to deal with my bullshit sorry

in the mood to be a moderately overinflated pooltoy again

[Steely Dan]: “You owed him money but you gave him something more…” 👀👀👀🍆🎉❓ “…with a gun.” oh. okay. 😔

reconsidering splitting this account because i fear i can't be a horny enough freak without alienating somebody

i bought a nagabe yaoi manga second hand and the previous owner left a castiel bookmark in it..

JoJo's

bsky for the past 24-48 hours

#deer 🦌

slow but gradual bloating that just won't stop....

A 34-year-old as a politician: My god he's like a baby. It's like they just elected an infant to be their mayor. A 34-year-old as an athlete: You have to admire the bravery of him attempting that dunk, knowing full well the grim reaper is right behind him.

big skunkcrow pooltoy…

the “plays a Skate game for the first time” to “wants to learn how to skateboard at age 31” pipeline is real

Flipping between these drafts like I'm holding up two shirts in front of a changing room mirror

baseball!

AAHHHHH!!!!

i would love to play center field when a no-doubt 430-foot home run is hit and run into the outfield wall at a dead sprint. as the camera cinematically pans up to follow the ball you briefly see me in the corner of the screen absolutely eating shit

Happy halloween! Reply to this post with “Trick or Treat” and i’ll give you something from my phone’s photo library

Happy halloween! Reply to this post with “Trick or Treat” and i’ll give you something from my phone’s photo library

Schwarz had heard the stories of the pooltoy ghosts, but he didn't expect to find one, much less get transformed and popped by one! Now he's on the prowl, ready to test the limits of anyone and everyone he can catch... if only he could float just a bit faster... 🐦🎈👻🎨: @vanillabuttad.bsky.social

bestseller this year i hear

#Survivor mention cheese to a white boy and he’ll play a mean game of frisbee golf for it

love to spend my one day off this week with a big fucking headache

Never gonna play the new Pokémon game. But have this.

i should be able to click a button at the beginning of a sports season that says “i’m normal” and i don’t get served any ads for crypto or gambling

this is like the meal you give a dog before you put it down

my faded ass otw to the air fryer:

Bros getting heated on the ice 🔥❄️

"It’s hard to believe I’m standing in the lobby where the first ever Midwest FurFest took place… because I’m not. That’s in Arlington Heights, which is miles away and hasn't been home to MFF since 2001."

today’s mood is plump pooltoys just wanna be slightly overinflated

there’s the “hmm, this might be a furry, i may have seen this bumper sticker for sale at a con” kind of car and there’s the “multiple furry stickers on the spoiler and the license plate is ‘STIMKY’” kind of car

watching game 1 of the world series. absolutely floored by a bigger guy holding a sign that said "THIS SHIRT FIT 32 YEARS AGO. GO JAYS"

The greatest moment in broadcast television history.

bulge

TFW u open BlueSky and a bunch of ppl are vaguely posting about the same shit

im so full of hotpot yum

i downloaded this app almost exactly 4 years ago and i’m one solid work day away from 15 million steps

Gift Wrapped 🎁

when your political homie has one too many drinks

When you catch yourself in a mirror and realize... #fattytober

It’s kind of wild that after seven million people were in the streets protesting, the president posted a hallucinated video of himself wearing a crown and shitting on Americans and then proceeded to start demolishing parts of the White House

i am once again thinking about birds