My tongue is very numb

Card issued I can buy weed legally again in my state

And we weren't invited?? (Just kidding congrats bloomfs!)

Just realized the last 4 of my SSN are wrong on my med card renewal let's see how this works out!

What's a big concert flex you love to brag about? Me: saw Britney Spears and Brandy in the same night after seeing Reba the night before ('99)

Spotify got my age exactly correct that's boring

Correct

Let's goooooo (and pls don't snow)

Should I treat myself for my birthday and buy a ticket practically court side to see my favorite basketball team

Oh-

Should I ask him what he thinks about heated rivalry

My mom makes me watch name that tune because I am very good at naming that tune

I don't hate this

My face hurts so bad from all the heaters being turned on. Love the cold, hate how dependent people are on artificial heat 🫩

Minx has a lot of dicks it's definitely an HBO show

Oh Minx has a lot of dicks right away okay then

My other site account isn't the right place for this but bsky is!!

Nightmare blunt rotation

A 33% hybrid was not a smart idea for the first high of the day 🥲

Sinuses hurt so bad that my nose is trying to bleed! Heaters are evil

Remembered I'm off for 11 days after Monday

I'm so tired this week wore me out and I have to go back to work tomorrow to be busy again

Nothing Bundt Cakes was a success thank you everyone for your input 🫡

Ate too many leftovers now I'm burping like kimo

Made mashed potatoes in a crockpot and lemme tell ya, I highly HIGHLY recommend it. Especially if you get overwhelmed when cooking and have time management issues

Jack White and Eminem at half time during the Detroit game fucking ruled

These mashed potatoes better bang because I am annoyed my soup didn't thicken 😭

Neighbor's compost pile gonna be fed since I actually use vegetables on Thanksgiving

O/U do we think the Dr is gonna be on this televisit to renew my med card or do we think he forgot to black out ALL his times today

Made a low sodium, GF cream of mushroom soup for my green bean casserole base 🥳

Cut some of my fingernail off happy holidays !!!

Cutting two pounds of onions took like 30 minutes this is RUDE

Really gotta invest in some swimming goggles for cutting onions oh my god I'm in PAIN and none of the tricks are working

My hip outta place is an uncomfortable way when I need to start cooking of course it is!!

Jaxson didn't swing because Dunn's not a woman

My mom: you don't need to wear a mask in a store! Meanwhile at whole foods everyone was hacking and sniffling

HELP this is so funny 😭 😭 😭 😭

What if I wrote the big brother quran

Being a chronically offline rtv author>>>> being a chronically online rtv author who thinks insulting the target audience is a great idea

Having to talk and listen to people every day is exhausting pls make it stop

A lot of y'all's parents had sex the same time of year huh! Happy birthday to all the November babies 🥳

Waist on my new stretchy pants are a little small and not stretchy and now I'm out of breath

Used my new face wash and the smell transported me back to 2002

The other site has started showing country of origin of accounts and this shit funny as hell. Fandoms are going through it

If someone calls themselves an empath I'm just gonna assume they're a shitty person

Just saw this dress and thought maybe someone would love it. The price is so good and there's other colors oldnavy.gap.com/browse/produ...

I've had three coworkers talk about my "customer service voice" and I didn't even realize it was that different than my regular. Mainly because I don't really talk when I'm not there 😭

Give it to me straight: are nothing bundt cakes really that good?

This was the only way we knew how to mate, it was our primitive cardinal call, we trusted Sum 41 to have the words we could never speak

Oh that adhd panic has set in realizing next week is Thanksgiving and I'm the person in charge of it all (I haven't done anything)