Kroger was out of my favorite decaffeinated fizzy treat (Vernors Zero Sugar Ginger Soda™), but at least this time I caught it before I placed my order. Rather than opt for an inferior ginger ale, I got some zero sugar cream soda instead. Just on a lark. Just for funsies. (1/2)

I love you @reuters.com, but I've got some bad news: The Iranians are still shooting, and the U.S. is still shooting. This isn't a ceasefire anymore in any meaningful sense, if it ever was one. Less fighting is good, but it's not no fighting. Ain't nothin' ceased, my friends.

Who could've ever predicted this outcome? 🙄 www.dw.com/en/iranian-m...

I don't know how one is supposed to eat one of those mini-boxes of Sun-Maid raisins. But I suspect it isn't "open both ends of box, push the entire stuck-together brick of raisins out of it, and eat the whole thing in one bite". I'm a visionary, really.

Weird flex for the party worried about birthrate. Oh, right. Only white babies count.

"So you were mad that he started the war with Iran, and now you're mad that he's ending it? You liberals are never happy." ^^^ This'll be all over MAGA media. Probably not as coherent, and probably with a "take your TDS pill hurr durr" in there somewhere. But let's talk about it. (1/6)

Feels like a good day to point out once again that creating a problem and then "solving" it is a hallmark of totalitarianism.

As we discussed earlier in the week: 1) Fuck all Popes, in general. 2) He's not wrong, tho. www.npr.org/2026/04/16/n...

This may be one of the oddest ways in which I've observed the time and place in which I grew up (U.S. Midwest, 1980s/1990s) impacting my language: I didn't know until like two years ago that there was a non-racist version of "easy-peasy". (1/2)

Having not learned a lesson from Kristi Noem and Pam Bondi, Tulsi Gabbard continues to be willing to do sketchy shit for Trump, seemingly still convinced that her loyalty will be rewarded. www.cnn.com/2026/04/15/p...

They brought me Canada Dry instead of Vernors again, and like. It's know the smallest problem any human being alive has right now. But damn it.

Do you want a ‘Day After Tomorrow’? ‘Cause this is how you get a ‘Day After Tomorrow’.

Dude. Being a mentor is *exhausting*. Seriously, people shouldn't be so eager to take advice from a guy with such shitty emotional stamina🙃

More money into Putin's pocket that he can use to murder Ukrainian children, thanks to Trump's war of choice against Iran.

If you're an American — if you live *inside* the empire, like I do — I'm positively BEGGING you to watch foreign media outlets. You don't have to (nor should you) watch them exclusively, and you don't have to accept or agree with the perspectives they present. But you need to know what they are.

What could possibly go wrong?

It's so funny to me that right-wingers love to pretend to love the Middle Ages and the Crusades and all that and then complain that the Pope shouldn't get involved in politics.

This is the most European news story I've ever seen in my entire life.

On the one hand, the Papacy is an affront to human dignity, and someone selected on theological criteria to lead a totalitarian death cult isn’t someone from whom I need advice on foreign policy. No, not even if the person in question is one of the kinder people to hold the office. (1/2)

I love how the new Hungarian prime minister’s name is basically “Pete Hungary” 🤣

Trump's reaction to his low-CHA team giving up on negotiations with Iran after a whole 21 hours was to declare that the U.S. is going to...close the Strait of Hormuz *more*, I guess? Then he went on Fox News and threatened more war crimes. A very stable genius, indeed. youtu.be/nG5KOLoZr6U?...

Hungary: "No, uh...no thanks, James."

Hermann Göring: "When I turn 60 years old in 1953, we will open Carinhall as a massive art museum!" The Allies: "Aww. He thinks he's living until 1953. Adorable." youtu.be/ul44c_Gag3Q?...

I know it won't, because dipshits like him lack self-awareness, but I hope striking out both campaigning for Orbán and trying to talk to the Iranians in the span of one week like...really fucks up Vance's self-esteem. I hope he cries.

Weird how sending the man who manages to be the least-likable asshole in a government filled with unlikeable assholes to campaign for your ally doesn't work out the way you'd hoped 😆

🎵Hell yeah 🎶 🎶Now we got business 🎵 www.nbcnews.com/world/hungar...

There used to be a time when the United States, even if to the collective and very much warranted eye-rolling of much of the world, tried to comport itself in a manner BETTER than that of oppressive, theocratic autocracies.

While an absolutely amateur squad was in Islamabad giving up on negotiations with Iran after a whole less-than-one day, President Donald Trump and Secretary of State Marco Rubio were taking in a UFC fight in Miami. abcnews.com/Sports/wireS...

You know, it's been a minute since I played 'Starfield'. I genuinely did like it. I hope they keep making DLC. 'Cause where else am I going to use a sword to knock fruit out of a container so I can steal it? Also: The plastic bag textures in this game continue to be stunning.

I wish the people of Hungary success in evicting Viktor Orbán from the Carmelite Monastery, and giving themselves back their country. I wish their electorate more fortitude than that which my own countrymen have displayed as of late.

The age of amateur governance is fucking exhausting.

A crack team of venal, dim-witted men with not a scrap of professional diplomatic experience between them couldn't negotiate peace with the country our President threatened to genocide less than a week ago? Shocking. www.cnn.com/2026/04/11/w...

"There's no consensus over why women and couples have shifted their behavior so significantly." Oh! I know! It's because being a human blows ass right now, and a lot of people are feeling ambivalent about making more humans until it blows less ass. (1/2) www.npr.org/2026/04/09/n...

Sam: "Hey Europe, how are things going? Are we still worried about Russia?" DW News: "Military-age German men who want to go abroad for more than 90 days have to check with the Bundeswehr first." Sam: "I see." www.dw.com/en/german-me...

With how consistently JD Vance is an appalling creep in public and in front of the media, I shudder to think what he's like in private. Dude just cannot help but say the sketchiest, slimiest shit.

These sorts of catastrophic misunderstandings can be avoided using the elusive method of...<checks notes>...making sure diplomacy is conducted by diplomats instead of the second-biggest dipshit in the White House talking to a Pakastini army general who's only slightly less dip-shitty.

I get it if Hoosiers are happy about this. Not trying to talk anyone out of that. But remember that this will create a budget shortfall you and I will have to contend with, eventually. Trump and the odious toads like Braun who follow him are stealing from us. Again. www.wthr.com/article/news...

Pro-tip for the media: If there's fighting still happening during a ceasefire, it's okay to call it a "failed ceasefire" or a "broken ceasefire". You don't have to keep describing it as a "fragile ceasefire" — that implies that it's holding, even if only barely.

The U.S. delegation to talks in Islamabad (if they actually happen) is to be led by J.D. Vance, Steve Witkoff, and Jared Kushner. I realize that "lack of professionalism and expertise" is kind of this admin's brand, but the fact that there isn't one career diplomat among them is freaking me out.

Well, that honestly took longer than I thought it would to fall apart. youtu.be/jfFNSfDeZ8w?...

Literally the only upside to Donald Trump's reckless and illegal war of choice against Iran is watching how bummed how John Bolton is that he didn't get to have any input into Donald Trump's reckless and illegal war of choice against Iran. youtu.be/Eo5PQ2SKudU?...

Appropriated from @lordjoshtheunholy.bsky.social.

This is what the Iranian embassy in India posted to Twitter after the announcement of the "ceasefire" between Iran and the U.S. (1/8)

I've had some trouble getting excited about Artemis II. And that's not like me. Like most people, but *especially* like most nerds, I've been enthralled by the very concept of human spaceflight since I saw my first shuttle launch on TV as a kid. (1/9)

The second air crew of that F-15E being rescued is a testament to how heroically our underpaid, overextended, incredibly professional service members are trying to do their best for us, even while we've elected a vicious idiot and his circus of incompetents to lead them.

I'm not a gigantic death-doom person, but I do like Hooded Menace. But it'll be a cold day in hell that I don't read their name as "Hooded Man-ass" — all because one time I typoed it as "Hooded Manace". It's the "Carnal Froge" problem all over again, really.

Today I ate pizza with my very precocious, very adorable, not-quite-four-years-old niece. We talked about how she wants a Sesame Street birthday, and we did many, many high fives. It doesn't like...fix everything wrong with the world. But it sure makes me feel better about our chances.

It's very important, you see, to allow ICE to protect us from violent criminals, such as...<check notes>...the parents of people who've volunteered to fight and die for our country.

Honestly, Darkthrone is the best of the original Norwegian black metal bands in a number of categories: 1) Fewest homicide convictions. 2) Fewest racist manifestos. 3) Fewest mutilations of corpses (human or otherwise). 5) Fewest church-burnings. 6) Most cats. 7) Best Tolkien-inspired band name.

Dear every reporter, If you're within earshot of a Trump Admin official and hear them bragging about Artemis II, ask them why they want to take away a quarter of NASA's budget. Your pal, Sam arstechnica.com/space/2026/0...