I’ve got to be incredibly honest rn… something that has never sat right in my soul is that 14x5=70. That is DEFINITELY my least favorite product 🤥 there is such a dark energy about it and I’m not even joking

No it’s true it’s true 🙂‍↕️ except I wouldn’t be running from Nemesis 🫦

Feeling bored…. might undergo some religious psychosis in a TikTok comment section

Bitch I don’t give a FUCK I’m about to just start crashing into people

Has anyone ever thought to invent some sort of signal that people can use to indicate when they’re about to turn or change lanes? Idk I just feel like that’d be useful

Ever since I was little, I’ve dreamed of starting a house fire trying to deep fry a turkey on thanksgiving

I’m in London… you’re in Paris 🙂‍↕️

My mind is a machine that turns my thoughts into annoying everyone I know

Me when I see a hot, hairy guy

Ideal jrpg party composition

happy birthday spheal

homie, wtf is wrong with you? (me to me)

I’m a chronic over explainer! Liiiiike I explain things in too much detail and often times my explanations veer into me explaining myself overly in the sense that I over explain

The tubes of intense contamination OCD :3 they’re our concentration pathogens for positive controls at work and sometimes I’m like what if I accidentally drank it

me setting the intention to eat healthier this week:

Can someone come pickle my cock pocket tonight ?

musical theatre gays are the kinkiest ones out there because wdym you want me to piss on you while singing songs from Pippin

Me when I’ve had an erection lasting more than 4 hours after taking viagra

So basically I can’t get soft cause I’m too hard

Yep adding that to the lexicon 🙂‍↕️

Bro oomf is obseeesssseeedddddd with copying me it’s insane 😭😭

Bro oomf is obseeesssseeedddddd with copying me it’s insane 😭😭

love them down

Personally I think that the umami profile of a sweaty cock seems like it’d pair so well with the overt sweetness of the caramel 🫦

The cheetahs girls 2 movie actually changed the trajectory of my life

With the release of Lux, Rosalía proved she could’ve written the symphonies or whatever. Yet Beethoven could NEVER come up with something as emotional and moving as Hentai!!!!

irl said they were making caramel sauce for our commander night this weekend… so I INNOCENTLY asked the group chat if they would eat caramel off a cock and somehow IM the problem? 🤨

Starting consider I might actually be mentally ill

Streets are saying that Milkenings have already started

When I’m doing lab work, listening to Hikaru Utada, and my three cups of coffee and adderall start double penetrating me so I genuinely enter a flow state

I understand you so deeply FKA twigs… I also lost all my friends in the club, but I do know where they are (cruising in the bathroom)

lgbt without the G in 2026!!!

Im dropping hints that im getting Jollibee for lunch today

Vampire Crawlers Trailer www.youtube.com/watch?v=-b6d... "Deal world-ending combos and blitz through infested dungeons! Vampire Crawlers: The Turbo Wildcard from Vampire Survivors is a casual, turn‑based deckbuilder with roguelite elements."

Magdalena bay was so right.. I DO turn my headlights on so I can see 🙂‍↕️

When you’re holding the dick and tickling the balls

Why Arby’s acting like they’re special? My beef also got cheese 🤨

Doctors: you have 2 hours and 26 minutes to live Me:

Hi king, what’s your net girth? Also can I have $1000 dollars 😋

Mmmmm Oomf hole 🤤

My first video game ever 🙂‍↕️

Save me half a cup of coffee that’s been in my car overnight save me

Zane did not want to make an appearance 🤨 but haiiiiii 🙂‍↕️

Girl i’m bored let’s go shave our brow bones

Have you guys heard about this

Honestly it’s probably embarrassing as fuck to be a pokemon that uses explosion and the opposing pokemon doesn’t even faint

nbf and I have been watching project runway for the first time and like I can’t believe I never got into this before :0

In my head cannon, SpongeBob was trying to hit and Ice Spice was like I don’t fuck short kings. But after seeing how hung he was she changed her mind…. Giving us the iconic line SpongeBob big guy pants ok

Who’s tryna be the big guy that gets in my pants ok 😞