JUST BECAUSE IT IS MOTHER’S DAY DOES NOT MEAN SHITTY MOTHERS ARE NOT SHITTY MOTHERS.

GOOD LUCK.

CORRECT.

YOU ACTUALLY CAN DROP A MIC IN SPACE BUT IT’S A DC 20 SLEIGHT OF HAND CHECK.

WE ARE NOT *MADE* OF CHEESE. WE *MAKE* CHEESE. IT IS A HOBBY.

WHY IS IT “THE INTERNET” BUT NOT “THE AI” HUH LINKEDIN BIGSHOTS?

HOW ABOUT SOME OF THAT SPICE THAT MAKES INTERSTELLAR TRAVEL POSSIBLE SO YOU DIPSHITS CAN FUCK ALL THE WAY OFF TO ANOTHER SYSTEM.

THE NUMBER IS FOUR.

THIS IS LIKE A BUNCH OF FLEAS ARGUING ABOUT HOW TO SPELL “DOG.”

GREAT, PLANET EARTH IS SENDING US A TIN CAN OF SHIT. DELIGHTFUL.

BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT INVITED.

THIS IS THE CORRECT ATTITUDE.

AH, BLUESKY AFTER THE OSCARS, WHAT A DELIGHT.

WELL WELL WELL, IF IT ISN’T A MAN TAKING CREDIT FOR THE DAY NAMED AFTER FRIGG, THE NORSE GODDESS OF MOTHERHOOD.

A FUN GAME YOU CAN PLAY IS READING KEN JENNINGS’ POSTS IN THE KEN JENNING VOICE BUT WITH A DRACULA ACCENT.

HIS MOTHER MADE THE HAT BUT NOBODY TALKS ABOUT THE HAT

YOU GOTTA SQUEEZE HARD TO THE LEFT.

IF THE AMERICAN POPE DOES NOT CANONIZE DOLLY PARTON, WHY IS THERE EVEN AN AMERICAN POPE

YOUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK.

THEY BETTER BE NINJA CATS, BECAUSE FIRST THEY WILL HAVE TO GET PAST THE RACCOONS.

“OKAY COMMISSIONER GORDON, FIRST TURN ON THE BAT SIGNAL, AND IF I’M NOT THERE IN LIKE TWENTY MINUTES, USE THE PHONE TO CALL ME.”

THIS IS AN AWFUL LOT OF HUBRIS COMING FROM A BACTERIA RIDDEN SHITHOLE RUN BY ELON MUSK.

TAKE HEED, PLANET EARTH.

don't know who needs to hear this, but do not fuck with the Moon

BUT WHO MAKES THE LAWS, SEAN?

CORRECT.

CORRECT.

CORRECT.

WOULD ANYBODY LIKE TO SAY ANYTHING NICE ABOUT SCRAPPY DOO?

THE FORCE MAY BE WITH YOU, BUT ARE YOU ONE WITH THE FORCE?

I guess it's fitting that it's a reimagined, worse version of someone else's artwork

WE DO NOT CAUSE STRANGE SHADOWS. STRANGE PEOPLE CAUSE STRANGE SHADOWS.

Well shone, Moon. Truly, the moon shines with a good grace.

TAKE A GOOD LOOK, PERVERTS.

STILL WAITING.

FOR THE NEW GUY. bsky.app/profile/plan...

[FILLING OUT A JOB APPLICATION]

WHAT IS IT LIKE INSIDE YOUR HEAD?

THE SEXUAL TENSION IS PALPABLE.

COUNTERPROPOSAL: WHY DON’T WE JUST HANG OUT AND TALK ABOUT HOW MUCH PLANET EARTH SUCKS.

LOBSTER AT MARKET PRICE. NO POINTS PROGRAMS FOR CREDIT CARDS. DRESS CODE STRICTLY ENFORCED.

She's a ten but she doesn't say mooooooon when there's a cool moon in the sky

CRIME CAN NEITHER BE CREATED NOR DESTROYED, ALTHOUGH IT MAY BE REARRANGED.

AS AN HONORARY APE, JANE GOODALL IS ALLOWED INTO APE HEAVEN.

THIS SOUNDS RIGHT.

nice

IF THERE IS ONE GOOD THING HUMANITY BRINGS TO THE SOLAR SYSTEM, IT’S BUTTS.

SAME, TBH.

ACCURATE.