Modern day advice column written by exasperated cultivators called ‘Is This Resentful Energy Or Just Black Mold?’

I know that lube & prep as a trope is so old hat and we’re all tired of it but you have GOT to think about lube & prep as top enrichment. Stimmy time. They love that hole let them play with it. Stop writing it like a chore before the fun part and start writing it like the fun part

more words to say the same thing I’m not like this all the time I promise www.tumblr.com/elrondsscrib...

I’m trying to keep my mouth shut so people won’t call me a Jezebel, but also I have fire shut up in my bones like Jeremiah I need to say some shit about horny/sensual fiction with conservative beliefs about sex/sensuality, and its reception by equally conservative audiences, or I will PERISH

Wuthering Heights brain farts: Child Heathcliff has a first language that’s not English. Does adult Heathcliff speak it? Does he have anyone to speak it with? Has he forgotten it?

Now that was a Novel and no mistake! No wonder everyone loves Wuthering Heights so much.

Zillah 🤝 Nelly: just sailing right past the actual moment someone dies 🤣

Imagine shipping it antagonistically, esp when one half of the ship is the son you’re also emotionally abusing Nobody’s doing it like Heathcliff

Omg I’m reading Lockwood’s recollection of Nelly’s recollection of young Cathy’s narration of what she was doing at Wuthering Heights we are at three layers of narration, it’s just too meta

Yeah yeah, “I’m seventeen, I’m a woman now” is very haha funny, but Cathy Jr is already older than Cathy Sr was when she MARRIED A MAN and is almost the same age Cathy was when she was pregnant with her

You know why I love Nelly? She don’t know what movie she’s in. She just keeps trying so hard to resist Heathcliff (fate) and stop him from manipulating young Linton and Cathy Jr into marriage. One must imagine Sisyphus happy!

i need to remind myself that it i feel too self-indulgent and cringe about my OCs and ideas that dante alighieri literally wrote self-insert bible fanfic with his favourite poet hanging out with him and put all his enemies in hell and now it's considered a classic

Okay well. I did it I guess. www.tumblr.com/elrondsscrib...

Unfortunately baby Cathy’s peak opsec has been foiled by the sleuthing efforts of Detective Dean 🕵️‍♀️

Heathcliff trying with all his will to hate Hareton vs Hareton Heathcliff 0, Hareton 1

And now Heathcliff is the one who gets to call newly acquired sons “it.” How the tables are turned!

Geez Nelly, maybe a child who’s frequently sick isn’t obliged to have a cheerful demeanor, especially after having just lost his mother Protestant bullshit strikes again

Heathcliff: 😈 hehe now your father’s dead and I get to raise you and abuse you like your dad abused me 😈 Hareton: ooh sideburns!

“Edgar Linton was virtuous and grieved his wife in the pious way, none of that praying for her to haunt him 😇” more Protestant bullshit

Ok I think I live for spitfire Isabella, even if being a spitfire can’t keep her safe from domestic abuse

The other famous line/s! Once again, the pretty Tumblr moodboards very much left out “May she wake in torment, she’s a liar to the end” when they post the infamous “you said I killed you — haunt me, then” and “I cannot live without my life, I cannot live without my soul” It’s a tone thing, is all.

Gee Nelly, I can’t imagine why Heathcliff might not like to be emotionally vulnerable, could it be the result a lifetime of othering and dehumanization that he’s maybe internalized to a degree? “Your pride cannot blind God” Judgy Protestant heifer

“Catherine Jr was born two hours after Cathy Sr died” girl I had to check back over the last few pages I’d read because I thought I’d missed something. But no, after all the sturm und drang of Heathcliff and Cathy’s last quarrel, Nelly just sails right on by Cathy’s actual final moments

Nelly Dean? Ovaries of steel. Might be unreliable, and definitely has prejudices, but repeatedly saying no to Heathcliff *after* being threatened with imprisonment and violence? Braver woman than me!

Heathcliff really out here saying “Edgar isn’t capable of loving Cathy as much as I do, and she couldn’t possibly be satisfied by him” with Isabella RIGHT THERE NEXT TO HIM girl

Geez Edgar, I know you resent the shit out of Heathcliff, but acting like Isabella the one victimizing you here is … well, a Choice

Reading Isabella’s letter to Nelly and haven’t even gotten to any of the real cruelty from Heathcliff yet, but the atmosphere of Wuthering Heights alone would make a girl miserable to the end of her days

Shower thought: why are the spice booktok/het omegaverse/age gap romance girlies not going feral over Jesse Reeves and Mael from Queen of the Damned?? Those two seem ready-made for mainstream het smut readers, at least to me (and I’m crazy about them btw)

Edgar: Are you Heathcliff’s friend or mine, make up your mind Cathy: *bangs her own head against the sofa to get out of answering*

The place Nelly occupies in the Earnshaw family is also fascinating; she’s sort of a playmate but also fully a laborer; Cathy unloads on her one minute and orders her to Servant Properly on the next; Hindley STICKS A KNIFE IN HER MOUTH and she’s still telling him off (at least in her own retelling)

Also the Earnshaw household dynamic from when old man Earnshaw is alive is FASCINATING to me Like young Heathcliff is v much the othered castoff not-member of the family and Hindley the White Son and Heir clearly feels entitled to bully and abuse him BUT Heathcliff has the ear of the patriarch and

I believe in prison abolition but Hindley Earnshaw? He needs to go to jail. Do not pass go do not collect $200 — JAIL.

And now we come to it: “Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.” Except all the artful Tumblr posts with that line conveniently leave out that Cathy says this right on the heels of “it would degrade me to marry Heathcliff,” during a meltdown over having just agreed to marry Edgar

Wuthering Heights! 😁 Ok, 1% in by Kindle app, Lockwood has barely walked in the door, and already we’ve got “dark skinned [g slur]” used to describe Heathcliff Old chap seems to be lowkey contrasting Heathcliff’s “aspect” with his gentleman’s clothes and manners, not rly a background element 😂

still thinkin about cg kip and little scott, thanks a lot eti

so I can def sympathize with why ppl might be 🙄 at roselana shipping, but as the sins of the hr fandom go, elevating two side characters and giving them better characterization and more to do than their source material is pretty low stakes, at least from where I’m standing

Wait so. There’s a blonde dude with ice skates competing at the winter Olympics named Ilia? This is real??

thinking about pianist Hollanov au brought back a sudden burst of nostalgia for when I was a kid: I used to create piano concert programs for my blorbos to perform in legit forgot I used to do that, I should do it again

The irritating thing about the Hollanov pianist AU rattling around in my head is that I *know* I care more about Shane and Yuna’s Asian-American/Canadian identity and experience than the author of the og books lol

In a pianist AU you just KNOW Yuna Hollander would be the quintessential Suzuki parent lol

I should get some chutzpah like this tbh. Hell yeah I studied classical piano! Hell yeah I studied religion! Embarrassed? Who’s embarrassed?

Someone talk me out of the Shmi Skywalker as Stoic Enslaved Mother post for Black History Month

Heated Rivalry got me in my Mighty Ducks nostalgia ngl

In my head I’m an author writing nasty femdom erotica of various flavors (female alpha/male omega, bdsm-verse, magic powers, religious trauma, cannibals/vampires, etc) and everyone hates to see me coming because omg we GET IT you’re into having a woman chew on a man shut uppp! Irl I am so. so tired

Not to be unkind, but I am so impatient about the “what’s the point of making my little zines/comics/crafts/art when the world is on fire” sentiments. I get it, but saving the world is not a responsibility shouldered by your art! That’s what being a neighbor, a friend, and hell, a citizen is for!!!

Apparently I’m not nearly as familiar as I should be with piano repertoire because I clocked that the piece being played in Heated Rivalry Ep 2 was probably a piano concerto but not that it was literally Rachmaninov 2 😝

still chewing on little scott and cg kip

pouting bcuz ur right

Plotting a Cult Babies Escape romance thar will never see the light of day, choosing nice lowkey cult baby names: what about Saul and Selah

I’ll never be a published author — the mere idea of navigating the publishing industry as a black semi-closeted queer woman makes me break out in hives, much less becoming an Influencer — but I do like sketching out original fiction I won’t write