There were more people present at my last colonoscopy.

I just got a notification that an obvious bot account replied to one of my posts. Okay, that happens, but when I went to see which one of my posts they replied to, no such post exists. WTF

Hey MS Copilot, STFU I didn't fucking ask you shit.

Just an FYI… 🏳️‍🌈

I wonder if Nina West would be interested in performing at CLAW 27. I wonder if CLAW 27 can afford Nina's rate and fit into her schedule.

I'm already tired tomorrow.

Days like today, I wish I still had a blog. Way too many words for a thread of skeets. I'm not good enough on camera for a 15-minute YouTube video.

Open letter to Microsoft. If you are going to insert ads into Outlook that appear like genuine emails, and have the audacity to make me pay a subscription to remove them. I am going to report each and every one of them as offensive. Kbai

I signed up to let @lansingbwl.bsky.social control my smart thermostat on high-demand days, and in return, they sent me a check. I got an alert that they would be doing it today from 1 to 5. Why? It's currently 74 degrees outside. Is there really that much demand that they had to set my AC to 89?

Just listened to @criticacclaim.bsky.social Bleak Week episode, and I have just one thing to say. "Smells like Mother's crazy sister, Kate."

Mental note for future fiction. "Eaugh! ... It's smiling at me. Why is it smiling at me?" "It likes you!" "Fair. Better question. HOW is it smiling at me? There's no mouth. No eyes. Nothing even vaguely resembling a face." "I KNOW! Isn't it amazing?" "That's one word for it."

Path of Exile 2 is my current hyper focus. IGN is Sir_Arcane. I would like to play with others.

Well this is annoying, I have a zit right where the left nose pad of my glasses sits.

Looks much better in person. By @citrusyeen.bsky.social

Happy National Red Rose Day.

Overheard: "EDM is not political." Tell me you have no gay friends without telling me you have no gay friends.

Tornado warning at the office. [I work remotely] Far too many questions in the Slack channels.

If that man's death is shown live on the Jumbotron at MSG. I'll quit my job and join a religious order.

My day job is at a rural branch of a public library, and we have a Pride display. Yesterday I was at the desk when a man came in. Fifties, maybe, or sixties. Plaid shirt, mesh trucker cap, suspenders. He went up to the display and just stood there for a long moment. Then he came up to the desk. 🧵 1/

Overheard: If you had friends, what would they call you?

You've reached the Nike ERP mental health crisis line. Just Do It! No, WAIT!

Overheard: "Make MAGA Great Again!" Now if you'll excuse me I need to lay down for a while.

Spending a slow day at work envisioning upgrades to my house. Three phase line to the garage. A tub that's big enough to comfortably nap in. Floor drain under the bed. Finish a section of the basement.

BigBeaverEnergy.com has the BEST T-shirts. That's all.

Happy National Cheese Day to all the filthy perverts who follow me.

I tried watching The First Nudie Musical on Tubi. The ads I got served drove me up a wall. And not just the ones for GOP candidates. "The new Saline data center will pay for all of its electricity." Remains to be seen. "So your power bill won't go up." That's not how supply and demand works. 1/2

Sirius Cybernetics Corp DBA Open AI. Share and Enjoy

Happy Pride Month. Yes. I'm Gay for Butts.

Hey Microsoft One Drive. It would be nice if I could turn off uploading for sub-folders. All the game saves in my Documents folders are already backed up on Steam, and some of the Oxygen Not Included files are BIGGG

If you have nsfw set to "hide" I implore you to set it to "warn". You still won't see anything except for a blurred post Otherwise once they roll out account-wide adult content labeling a whole lot of people including me are going to disappear from your timelines, even our sfw text posts

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Go to a city council meeting in your nice quiet liberal-leaning suburb and ask “What are the police doing to ensure they aren’t recruiting literal Nazis?” and you’ll find out how many traffic laws you’re suddenly breaking.

I heard what you would do for a Klondike Bar. ... ... ... Call me

Conversation at work: A: Oof that's not good. Was it one of the new hires, or a seasoned agent. B: Seasoned, it was #$NAME Me: #$NAME?! The only thing she's been seasoned with is mayonnaise. She needs to be promoted to customer.

I need to post more photos of guys sitting on my face. Or riding my arm (or both)

Overheard: Zero suicides are ideal, but...

God dammit Microsoft. Why did you have to go and break SwiftKey? Now I have to train a new keyboard.

Overheard. "I don't judge, but I do ask follow-up questions."

To everyone in Chicago this weekend. Have fun, take pictures, and try not to spend five figures in the vendor market.

It doesn't take much to make me happy. My coughs not having a mouth feel would be wonderful.

From the group chat. Them: Where can you find lions? Me: youtu.be/FbYtASAakAI?...

The dangers of scrolling through TikTok. Today I was reminded that I watched the Fredrick Wiseman documentary Titicut Follies when it aired on PBS. In 1992. I was 12. Today is not going to be a good day.

I was reminded of this early 90's banger by @dlelandwhite.bsky.social, so I thought I'd inflict it on all of you. Enjoy, or not. I may be a Sir, but I'm not your Sir. youtu.be/dN8e9b2ON8s?...

BTW, if you like radishes. Or even if you think they're just okay, you should be reading Sluggish.ghost.io

If I'm coughing so hard that I feel like I'm gonna puke, I'd like to be high as well.

It doesn't take much to make me happy. Just 24 hours where the only "fluids" expelled by my body are reasonably solid shit, reasonably pale piss, and a reasonably copious jizz.

Friend of mine asked one too many questions about fisting. He is now calling me Jim Henson.

Saw a CNN clip the other day that claimed Congress had a 10% approval rating and 86% disapprove. The talking heads were pontificating about what this meant for the GOP in November. While my reaction was, "You're asking the wrong question." Congress as a whole has not been popular in my life 1/

Character idea for future reference. "Uncle" Ricky liked to tell the story of hearing Nixon's resignation speech at the bathhouse. He had OPINIONS about the capital gains tax rate. When it came to his love life, he was like the cops. He was looking for a black man in his 20's, and always would be.