Last night's movie was In the Tall Grass, which was pretty enjoyable if a bit run-of-the-mill.

Client has sent me a Word doc where the text aligns right to left but reads left to right. Anybody know how to fix this issue?

Book folks. Can you recommend any online critique groups/writers circles who are open to new members at the amateur level?

In the 'the twats have won and everything is pointless' stage of depression. Which is one of my least favourite stages.

The shit. It ever piles higher, and I'm not sure I can cope.

Totally in the despair pit today. Which isn't ideal, as it's not a great place from which to try to function.

Three badges were made for the Elven kings, who were good at sharing. Seven badges for the dwarf lords, who knew their opposites. One badge for the dark Lord on his throne, where the shadows lie, who had a basic grasp of swimming.

The main character in the novel I'm editing is called Duggy, and now I really want to see an epic fantasy featuring Hey Duggee. "What's that, Duggee? The evil lich king has stolen the fabled elven orb of Yrothanagar and now you must lay waste to his army of abominations?" "Awoof."

Sure, because fucking kids or killing them with guns isn't the issue. My bad. Let's sort the autism first. Go Team America.

I want a show with just the bonk-eyed sheep. Maybe a team up with Hypno Toad.

Last night's movie was the remake of Speak No Evil, which I thought was rather good. Mainly down to McAvoy's brilliant and somewhat unhinged performance. Not quite as bleak as the original - but then few things are - but still packs a punch.

Last night's movie was Birth/Rebirth. Terrific performances from the cast, and a movie not shy of talking about women's bodies and pregnancy. Perhaps a touch quieter than I was expecting, but still powerful.

Trying to get youngest daughter to do homework and she went full Pazuzu.

And lo, did he join the queue of infinity. And lo did he purchase the tickets of Ariana Grande. And there was much rejoicing. (At least by our youngest).

Every season is Spooky Season for me.

Also bards in epic fantasy...

Pertinent to what I'm editing at the moment. For jester, though, read bard.

Latest purchases. Books soothe my soul.

The answer to 'What would you like co-pilot to do?' should always be 'Get in the fucking sea!'

Book question of the day - can anyone suggest SF titles (old or new) set mainly or partly in underground cities? Possibly post-apocalypse.

Sinners is just perfection. Best vampire movie since Near Dark.

Today has been a struggle. Trying not to fall into the despair pit. But... books. Books are good. As you were.

I swear to god, I see another social media post quoting that Tolkein passage about living through difficult times, I'm gonna kick a hobbit square in the nuts.

Watched The Surfer, which is very good, but is like having a 90 minute panic attack with Nicholas Cage. Also, eww Nicholas, please don't eat that...

I don't always work two sold weeks of nine hours days plus weekends, but when I do... give me gin, now!

The kids go back to school on Wednesday, and it's going to feel like that bit where the giant eagles fly in to rescue the hobbits.

They should do a version of the 9 to 5 musical for freelancers. Though I appreciate that 'Workin' nine to eleven thirty at night (and on weekends)' doesn't scan.

Someone online asked me whether I'm the real Jon Oliver. So, I'm delighted to be able to reveal that, yes, I'm the real Jon Oliver.

At the moment it's either I can have sufficient sleep, but bad dreams about former workplaces, or Minnie wakes me up at 4am with another mouse corpse.

If the character is going to 'chime in' every time they speak, they should be forced to carry a wee bell.

"Yeah, your price isn't unreasonable but I'm going to use some AI shite to go through my manuscript instead." Get. All. The. Way. To. Fuck.

The unique brand of parental guilt one feels in the school holidays, when you feel you really should be taking the kids out and pointing them at nature or something, but you have a shit load of work to do, so you let them watch YouTube instead. A+++ parenting!

Because there's nothing that gets the ladeez going like seeing a shirtless man reading Harry Potter and having an ice lolly. Oh yeah...

Treating myself this bank holiday weekend by doing some work. Truly, I am the World's Greatest Boss.

Someone referred to me as a 'storied professional' this week. Which was nice.

🎵Shot in the balls, and you're to blame Fuck's same man, you're a bad aim🎵

Renaissance dogging - "And what do I spy, through yonder carriage?"

Generally, when a company use the term 'good faith' in a press release, you know someone along the line has been an exceptional arsehole.

FFS. A - we already have Stephen King and his books aren't going anywhere, and B - No writer is a replacement for another writer.

If you look in a mirror and say 'It's too hot' three times, Paddington Bear will appear and hand you an ice lolly.

Having a super tough time with parenting and depression. Hoping that two weeks off will help. Think also been working too hard.

As the hosepipe ban comes into effect, spare a thought for Buffalo Bill. Now when you don't put the lotion on your skin, he has no recourse.

So, middle-life crisis is just feeling sad and tired most of the time? I was promised a fast car, dammit.

The local Facebook group is the gift that keeps on giving.

Big fan of Adam Buxton, but less of a fan of his use of generative AI for lols.

Greg Wallace can get right to fuck with his 'autism made me do it' bollocks.

So the symptoms this week - regular nightmares, exhaustion, and irrational anger. Maybe I need to have my meds reviewed. That or a three week holiday.

What happens is you refry refried beans?

Handling depression while also parenting two neuro-diverse girls is not the most fun you can have in your late forties.

I’ve honestly no idea how these folk who are on TV five times a week and have big media profiles get such huge books deals.