why my kitty gots low poly toes? does she need more VRAM?

Fucking Liberals, man. Holy shit.

my new phone has a "night vision" mode and i've become obsessed with how it makes everything around here look like it's in a Tim Burton film 😎

hey Todd Howard, this is the kind of wholesome nerd bullshit i'm forced to do when you haven't released a single-player Fallout or Elder Scrolls game in over a fucking DECADE 🤬

"There, the White House’s top diplomat gifted Leo, 70, with a crystal football emblazoned with the seal of the State Department. “Wow, okay,” the pope responded as Rubio showed him the gift, with Rubio quipping, “What to get someone who has everything?”"

NEW HYPERFIXATION INITIATED 🦾🤖 P.S. make sure to read the alt text!

here, try this, it's a much healthier snack!

nooo Geoffy don't eat that, it's full of prions!

the great wolf Fenris devours the sun as Ragnarök begins...

OH MY GOD 🤯

this is 100% true, a data center is basically a dungeon out of a Forgotten Realms campaign but without all those damn kobolds

i let him try on my old stab-proof vest but it might be a little too small 😽

someone threw away an entire unused security camera system! now i control the Panopticon!! absolute power has absolutely corrupted me!!!

unseasonably cool beans

anyways learned helplessness is a disease that must be combated.

i really hate jk rowling and i really hate the hungry ghosts in charge of thibgs

this is the face of a proud warrior who hath slain the evil mouse who was pooping on the kitchen counter! all hail the mighty Geoffy!

chat am i cooked?

🌞

now that the temperatures are occasionally above 0°C i have deployed my cargo shorts, as is tradition in Canada 😽

DO IT! and for value-added bonus incentive, there's a good chance you will see ME in chat, complaining about my terrible internet connection! 👉WATCH AND WIN, FOR COMMUNISM!👈

nostalgia is an insidious disease

it's been a blast reading through these early 1900s children's anthologies i dug out of storage, pre-war stuff has this sense of wide-eyed whimsy that seemed to disappear after ~1918 for some reason, mysterious, but that being said, why were they so fucking mean to this weird old man of Melrose?

our fuzzy little tangerine nightmare here is watching the snow melting outside and is practically hyperventilating at the imminence of me and him being able to go outside on walkies 😽

finally, some optimism!

To disable profile achievement animation pop ups access settings on desktop> profile> profile achievements> profile achievement settings> not here*> settings> scroll to the very bottom and toggle "animation" to "please stop making everything opt out, nobody asked for this" *in a transparent font

i took some selfies last week after accidentally buying leopard-print undies (it happens), they look dope as hell but i didn't post them cuz this account is Very Wholesome 🙂‍↕️ but ofc now when i hand my phone to my parents to look at cat pix there are these leopard-print landmines in my camera roll 😅

i bought this case for my NEW CAMERA-PHONE not because it's especially sturdy or anything but 110% because the bright colour and grippy surface will reduce the number of times i lose the fucking thing by at least 10% (-/+ 15%), so that's my ADHD life-hack for yinz 🙂‍↕️

lmao taking this picture is what let me know our front lawn was covered in deer, her eyes went from happy little slits to bulging orbs of rage >:3

a feast in fresh snow chestnut brown in pelt and gaze startled my dumb cats

he's like a freaking supermodel, how does this guy do it?

my face when i'm looking at all my bluesky buddies 😘

my mom said "you should wash your diarrhea mug" and i'm like jeez mom, do you even understand what gourmet cooking is all about? how caramelization works? maybe i should give the Mona Lisa a vigorous scrubbing with steel wool while i'm at it?

that means it's time to decant the snowshoes and run amok thru moonlit groves of spruce and pine while crying out in ecstasy at the thrill of existence

there, i FINALLY managed to gather enough dopamine molecules together in one place to get my NEW PHONE operational! man it is so wild having a phone that doesn't need to be strategically tensioned with rubber-bands in order to take photographs 🥳

the only real context for this is that i read a funny post on The Forums and was also watching Smiling Friends and also a home-made weed edible was involved

me: wow this new Pixel 9a i got can take vibrant hi-res pictures! perfect! me: oh my god, every single one of my wrinkles and grey hairs captured in lurid 4K vividity, i'm so old i can smell the open grave that awaits me 💀 also me: an eight year old tablet with a scratched lens? perfect!

i spent over 72 hours photoshopping this Very Important image because i'm basically a partisan resistance fighter in the war against A.I., i'm like the John Henry of shitposting, the Thomas Sankara of memes, the Pol Pot of-- *connection terminated*

stolen from r/coaxedintoasnafu 🤖

a few days ago i dropped a piece of firewood on my foot that was broken in 2024 and it's still aching today. bones are stupid, i hate bones, i want an exoskeleton, i crave the chitin 🦞

with precious metals going through the roof it is my civic duty to remind everyone that if your parents/grandparents got crowns in the 1980s or beforehand they are sitting on a potential GOLDMINE 😚 my mom gave me these three molars, but i have no fucking idea where i got this incisor from 😬

i got my new phone (a google pixel 9) in the mail today, but i forgot to get a protective case, and now i'm staring at the unopened parcel nervously. it can smell my fear. i may have to improvise something out of a foam pool noodle and some duct tape before it grows stronger, hungrier, angrier...

i always forget to promote this, but if anyone wants to join me in chat during @voxsocialism.bsky.social 's stream here we can crack dumb jokes and make fun of him whenever he gets PvPed in GTAIV, it's on at 7pm MST

o_0

the other day i was trying to describe to my nephew what my kitty Coco/Corona looked like when i first saw her shivering sadly in a gutter beside a busy road back in 2021, on the day i rescued her, and since words failed me i expressed myself through the medium of Sharpie:

they see i'm bumpy, i'm crunchin', lacto-fermentin' and tryna get me dillin'

😵‍💫

we were playing a rousing game of "Wiggle Hand Under Blanket Until Cat's Facade Of Ironic Detachment Crumbles And The Kitten Within His Soul Cannot Help But Attack What Must Certainly Be An Invisible Mouse Concealed Beneath" which is his third favourite game after "Ribbon Toss" and "Foot Bite"

😑