i got my new phone (a google pixel 9) in the mail today, but i forgot to get a protective case, and now i'm staring at the unopened parcel nervously. it can smell my fear. i may have to improvise something out of a foam pool noodle and some duct tape before it grows stronger, hungrier, angrier...

i always forget to promote this, but if anyone wants to join me in chat during @voxsocialism.bsky.social 's stream here we can crack dumb jokes and make fun of him whenever he gets PvPed in GTAIV, it's on at 7pm MST

o_0

the other day i was trying to describe to my nephew what my kitty Coco/Corona looked like when i first saw her shivering sadly in a gutter beside a busy road back in 2021, on the day i rescued her, and since words failed me i expressed myself through the medium of Sharpie:

they see i'm bumpy, i'm crunchin', lacto-fermentin' and tryna get me dillin'

😵‍💫

we were playing a rousing game of "Wiggle Hand Under Blanket Until Cat's Facade Of Ironic Detachment Crumbles And The Kitten Within His Soul Cannot Help But Attack What Must Certainly Be An Invisible Mouse Concealed Beneath" which is his third favourite game after "Ribbon Toss" and "Foot Bite"

😑

christopher robin's cunty little shoes

amazing things are happening in r/alchemy 😐

🤔

all the grown-ups at Christmas dinner were talking about boring shit, so i distracted myself by making my Lego dudes fight 😙

oh my god i found my box of records -- now it is motherflipping X-mas for REAL 😈

Hire me to aromajockey your wedding you will not be disappointed

it's -30°C outside and the internet is a terrible place these days, so tonight i decided to learn how to crochet! but my actions drew aggro from a kitty mob and so now she is the one who is crocheting 😔

i got Coco a cat-sized hoodie that said "SECURITY" on the back as a Christmas present back in 2021, and she allowed me to put it on her EXACTLY once, and i'm thankful for that 😽

the sexual danger of fred dibnah

i remember that episode of Mr.Rogers, it was very polarizing at the time

well well well, not only is Tyler a fine writer and a fellow tall person, but now he's also an aspiring fashion magnate? quick, everybody should go buy his shirts, because nobody wants to see an English major go hungry, that's how revolutions get started 😬

i like to give helpful advice on Reddit to make the world a better place 🤗

Wabamun Lake was looking sick as hell this evening 😎

so i was jacked into my personal cyberdeck and beam-riding thru a high-sec corporate instance filled with hostile AI routines and this bot slices my intrusion countermeasures and beams this ad for genetech mods directly into my visual cortex, so i closed the Reddit app on my phone and took a nap 😴

the song of the red-winged blackbird might be my fave bird noise of all time, it was the background music for canoeing thru reed beds and marshy creeks in my misbegotten youth 😎

now is the time of year where we huddle indoors around a warm fire to drink hot cocoa, we wear fuzzy slippers, and when the gloom of evening fully cloaks the woods in shadowy darkness, we don our tattered robes of hide and antler and pursue a living sacrifice thru the woods with daggers in hand 😌

trying to figure out how to properly phrase "i'm good at digging graves!" so's i can put that on my resume

"the gameplay loop is the same, we just upgraded the graphics engine, reset your stats, and patched that bug where you're always kind of sad."

me and my mom got our COVID+flu vaccines yesterday, and we didn't have to pay a goddamn dime, so the current Alberta regime can suck hard on my non-existent nuts ᕦ⁠(⁠ಠ⁠_⁠ಠ⁠)⁠ᕤ

I. My first thought was, she lied in every word, That hoary cripple, with malicious eye Askance to watch the workings of her lie On mine, and mouth scarce able to afford Suppression of the glee, that pursed and scored Its edge, at one more victim gained thereby.

looking through some of the pictures i was taking back in 2022-2023 really brought home the fact that i really NEED a non-broken camera 😓

Cal is schooling Geoffy on the history of hip-hop, turntablism, and what it takes to be a b-boy 🙅 #homestuck

if they sold squeezie tubes of gravy for humans to eat, i bet i'd make the same expression as this ravenous beast >:3

and THIS is what makes all the tree-felling and log-hauling and wood-chopping and chimney-sweeping and ash-hauling worthwhile >:3

he keeps meowing something about "a yard of linen" and "dialectical and historical materialism" and "there is a spectre haunting my litter box!" and i just shake my head sadly and tell him he has to read more theory 😔

laying on the couch is lovely but it also means i have this fuzzy menace looking down at my unprotected stomach with glee in her malevolent little eyeballs

BEEFCAKE! BEEEEFCAKE!!

all my bones hurt, and i don't ever want to think about chainsaws ever again, but the payoff is worth it 😌 weird to think that ~5 years ago this place had a collapsed roof, dry rot, a broken furnace, and a density of mice like unto the degenerate matter at the heart of a neutron star 💪😏

wtf where did my left sinus go?!?!?! no wonder i have tinnitus and don't smell so good!

sure, i may have a BA in English, but my true passion is grueling physical labour ᕦ⁠(⁠ò⁠_⁠ó⁠ˇ⁠)⁠ᕤ

i'm not holding an invisible gun, officer, i'm indicating the cool new stripe of white hair i noticed whilst brushing my teeth. and yes my phone is held together with duct tape and elastic bands, is that a crime now? this is democracy manifest! get your hand off my penis!

i took a break from bsky/twitter to gather firewood to heat my hovel o'er the cruel winter yet to come (i am serf-maxxing) and also so i wouldn't yell at so many losers on the internet, and i was (mildly) successful on both fronts! i also broke a chainsaw! more to follow!

a moment of silence to commemorate the assassination of Salvador Allende, the democratically elected Marxist leader of Chile, murdered by the US&A on September 11th 1973 some other stuff happened on 9/11 but the assassination of Allende is more important >:3

sometimes when i'm irritated at the world i'm like "oh who gives a shit" and then the little rhetorical angel on my shoulder whispers "you, it's you, dumbass" and i just want to strangle the little jerk >:0

fast food places should do breakfast again from noon to 2 for those of us with reasonable sleep schedules (wakes up at 1:15pm)

i was chewing on Geoffy's ears, but in a loving way :3

time for my world-famous pedicure!

If we Communists only hunger for power, then why do we side with the powerless?

okay so am i just imagining this or does my buddy here look like he's got furry boobs? 🤔

😿

sometimes when life won't hand you any lemons you have to take the initiative and go outside and pick 20 pounds of hazelnuts instead 🐿️