"It's not MSNBC anymore, Lemon. It's MS NOW. We bought the name off of a defunct multiple sclerosis awareness organization. It wasn't cheap, but we were able to save some money by selling Brian Williams to a Saudi prince who wanted to expand his harem."

I tried listening to Pink Pony Club, but I keep skipping the buildup and going straight to the chorus, which seems fitting for a man.

The best advice you’ll ever get from emo music is from Panic at the Disco: “Haven’t you ever heard of closing the god damn door?”

WINNIPEG TIES IT WITH 1.6 SECONDS TO GO! COLE PERFETTI! UNBELIEVABLE! #GoJetsGo | #StanleyCupPlayoffs

A movie you’ve watched more than six times using gifs. (Hard mode. No Star Wars, Star Trek, LOTR, etc)

I want the ability to record my own alarm sounds on my phone. Nothing will wake me up faster than hearing my own voice saying “Get the fuck up! You’re late!”

Someone made a savage edit to the Pirates’ Wikipedia page.

Kanye had a song in 2013 called “Black Skinhead”. Seems relevant.

cam newton on first take today looks like a general from a command & conquer cut screen

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Interracial marriage did not cross 50% approval in the US until 1996, when I was 30 years old. Good political messaging drives opinion, it doesn't follow it.

SCOOP: Now that Linda McMahon is confirmed/sworn in as secretary, Trump will be imminently issuing an executive order eliminating the Department of Education. I’ve obtained a draft of an email that McMahon will be sending to staff re: the EO and the department’s “final mission”. Here is a portion:

Almost 800,000 people on here are following a totally-not-real account claiming it's a group of rogue park workers and who are now posting cryptic nonsense to make it seem like they're sending messages to the deep state. Also they're selling resistance merch. WTF are we doing man?

A quote from The Expanse that feels apt: “That was the danger of being old and a politician. Habits outlived the situations that created them. Policies remained in place after the situations that inspired them had changed.”

Thinking about this passage from The Grapes of Wrath

People who work out first thing in the morning always seem like they have their shit together, no matter how fucked up every other aspect of their lives are.