I was hoping for at least a few months to get into better shape before the world ends.

McGruff is part of the 40%

It's so funny that the government is full of people wearing literal clown shoes. I kinda miss subtlety.

"Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah"

Yes, I would eat a French fry the size of my apartment. Thanks for asking.

I hate to slander Leland Palmer this way

🎵🎶A single mom who works two jobs🎶🎵

Don't be so careful in time of death.

Happy Gary Retrograde everyone! The next two weeks are the only two weeks out of the year when Gary Numan is older than Gary Oldman

You want to bet on a dude fucking an alligator? Polymarket.

As for dreams, you have enough and more to spare.

Cookie is once again free to walk off with the whole world!

What's your favorite dystopian sports movie?

It would be pretty funny if It Happened and somehow Mt. St. Helens was involved

Tarnished Hollow? There's no way they aren't referencing Elden Ring/ Dark Souls

Idk if that's the best reference, because Jack Reacher stories are so blunt that I wouldn't be surprised if the first sentence of the first book is "Jack Reacher is a human man."

In the story of Humpty Dumpty it is never said that he is an egg. However, it is never said that he is NOT an egg. This means that any character in ANY story could be an egg unless explicitly stated otherwise. Keep that in mind when you read a Jack Reacher novel

🤣

happy 14th anniversary to all who observe

I put this lettuce stub in water *yesterday*

When the bottom of your sock gets wet

Excitedly awaiting the nuclear disaster that results in "The Bay Area Exclusion Zone"

The Bad Batch is a fun and interesting and artsy little movie. But it does feature the worst Cuban accent that has been committed to film youtu.be/LU2SG1QvSnY?...

I think he should keep giving extremely long speeches. That's what William Henry Harrison did.

I had a dream last night where I met Norm Macdonald. He introduced himself as "Norman"

It may sound odd, but I love the cold, grey dreariness of Oregon's beaches.

There's just something so evocative about the instruction "Apply cream cheese to pizza in dollops"

Good morning

hamburger help me

Me rn

Exclusive look inside the cube ‼️

Auriscalpium vulgare - Earpick Fungus #FungiFriends

Saw a trailer for Tenebre the other day and learned where the sample in the Justice song Phantom came from.

Many of these are generally good life advice

Potomac Interceptor sounds like a name for a newspaper, and calling it a "sewage pipe" does little to counteract that.

Today is the first day of Ramadan, the first day of Adar, Lunar New Year and Mardi Gras. This means that for one reason or another, the majority of humans on the planet have a reason to eat fried food, and that is beautiful.

Happy #FridaytheThirteenth ! The only official and accurate picture of the Friday Thirteenth Jinx. ( #PhantomsFriday for good measure.)

An insane combination of words.

they call us « traitors »

Post a banger that isn't in English. Spent a minute thinking about which Moonsorrow song I was gonna post but decided to swerve youtu.be/YnopHCL1Jk8?...

Repost with a photo of yours that would make a good album cover

It's so funny that it's always Mechanical Turks. Every time.

It never really clicked until I saw this video, but Randy Newman is punk rock as hell. youtu.be/8bfyS-S-IJs?...

Some motherfuckers are always

Bet the oracle text on this guy looks crazy

Absolute banger of a reaction image.

I know I shouldn't engage with AI slop lib rage bait from the discover page, but Brazilian Leonardo Dicaprio is too funny