If anyone can teach me how to fake my death that would be super

"Smithers, I'm beginning to think that Homer Simpson was not the brilliant tactician I thought he was."

hey remember when a bunch of middle-aged drunk korean lawmakers climbed the locked gates to the national assembly to hold an emergency session after the president gave illegal orders to the military, all of which ended with said president being sentenced to prison

Remember how appalled we all were in 2022 when Russia completely unprovoked attacked Ukraine? That is what we’re doing tonight with Venezuela. We are the bad guys here. Everyone who supports this is supporting unprovoked murder. Fuck every last one of them

Anyway I was very depressed over the holidays and I'm somewhat better now. What's up?

Ehhh comme si comme sa.

Ahhhhh Florence Pugh, the only Capricorn I love wholeheartedly.

Zohran is already making Regular People's lives harder...

James Merril’s poem “Christmas Tree,” written while he was dying of AIDS. 1995.

I just called two men gay on my phone this is it guys this is my homophobic era.

Knives Out: a classic whodunnit centred around the death of a patriarch surrounded by a family of motive-havers Glass Onion: FUCK BILLIONAIRES FUCK BILLIONAIRES FUCK BILLIONAIRES Wake Up Dead Man: hey y’all noticed how the right has weaponised christianity in their fascist takeover of America

All is full of love. (Mayhaps crispness, everyone.)

Wait whaddya mean Sven the cat died WHAT

Drew is a good kid. They are not just an amazing drag artist but they are an activist and bakes stuff all the time. If you can, please venture and donate during this stream!

Does anyone know if Lil Nas X is doing okay?

I actually did enjoy this, though admittedly my heart still belongs to Glass Onion, Janelle Monae, and Benoit Blanc's cute little yellow ascot.

One day I will do a dramatic reading of this song mostly because I want to do good by Mother. (Who is 7 years younger than me.) youtube.com/watch?v=6E-_...

Remembering you and the things you would tell me is a gentle pressure on my chest like a cat kneading on hollow bones and the cat is, in real time, getting heavier until I now have to remember to breathe.

I'm an authority on a subject, and this proves it.

Wait HOLD UP the actor playing Ted Wheeler on Stranger Things is a FUCKING FOX?!

oh i see. so when Nancy and Steve are standing exactly like this (with less rubbing and nudity) in ST5 it’s a feisty romantic plot point…? ok

Did you know getting a compliment from your tattoo artist will resolve almost all your insecurities that you've been having for a week?

Let me tell you something: HK is NOTHING without Chinese Bamboo building that city. HK however will be destroyed when fuckers cut corners.

Missing HK so bad that I can't tell if it's because of mom or because I miss the aesthetic.

Hey leave miss chanandler bong alone.

Well I'm fucking sad. Anyone got anything nice happening to them?

The world and fucking RSD hate me so much

Why. Also why is this beautiful. youtube.com/watch?v=lMYQ...

Unfortunately I walked into this arena just as Cotton Eyed Joe started playing so if this is someone's way of saying it should be my entrance music I will hurt someone.

God I'm a failure

New The Amazing Devil music out in December maybe? HELL YEAH

Every day I pray for the sweet release of death to free me from the criticism and scoldings of old people

Random line: somewhere in the distance a baby cries out, and I wonder if I could be just as honest.

CW: Grief. So ah. My mom died. I'm more able to function than when Luke passed but there's so much more documentation and administrative matters I have to handle this time. The police in HK are also useless. They sent me a message addressing me as my mother's name.

Where can I find a small skull for my table at work?

To that man who told me he liked my look and asked if I was aloof because it was part of my personality and I was being, "feisty", know that I was reticent only because you chose to do this in Mandarin and I just came downstairs for a waffle dog damnit.

For very sad reasons I get really moved by black cats.

CW: Grief. So the demons got me down this whole week, and I know for a fact that part of it was due to me missing my partner too much causing me to imagine terrible terrible images of him contorted into nightmare mode. It's the first day I've felt better. Thus: selfies.

Random thought but I hope Lil Nas X is doing okay.

Me, grumbling about work: Italian man *derogatory* Italian colleague: Hey🥺 Me: ... Not you, another Italian man. Italian colleague: *looks at guy's name* this is an import. Not a true Italian. Damn Italians really know this shit.

Every train trip nowadays seems to revolve around me trying to remember to breathe properly while visions of terrible terrible things seem to play on and on and on.

My brain is three movies playing the montage scenes at once while there's a tiny TV in the corner of the bar with the sound off and no subtitles showing me the most horrible things and a raccoon is changing the films but I keep getting suckered into the horrible bar TV and MY FACE WONT MOVE—

Consciously tuning into my colleagues' conversation which just so happened to be, "Do you like choking?" Which got me so flabbergasted a colleague caught sight of my face and started laughing/coughing. another colleague jokingly told me not to go to horrible places in my brain.

I'm trying to do this thing that people keep saying I should do called— *Checks notes* Taking care of myself? A novel concept, but nevertheless, we persist.

Really it was cemented for me when i turned up at the appointment at 3.30pm instead of my actual target time at 3, only to be informed that my actual appointment had been at 11am that morning.

Guess who has been diagnosed with ADHD with "moderately severe anxiety/depression"!!!!!!

I've accidentally fallen into kontrabida academy and I love it.

My brain hasn't been nice to me today, and I keep wondering if it's worth it. My head keeps trying to tell me that I'm a hateful person and I am close to sobbing. On the plus side I look good today.

I feel like it is important for me to clarify that while I love old Hollywood movies I have never forgiven them for their adaptation of Daddy-Long-Legs that Fred Astaire starred in cause there was NEVER A NEED FOR A MUSICAL ADDITION TO THE MAIN STORY. You had no business being there, Astaire!!!!

I don't have to write something about you on your birthday because you are already in most of my writing.