I bet you won't yell when he drag his ass across the carpet again....

Facts.

This is a story of Trump, Money laundering, and the mob. #trump #moneylaundering @newyorkstateag.bsky.social @joyannreid.bsky.social @jimmykimmel.com @maddow.bsky.social @amandaseales.bsky.social @rokhanna.bsky.social @zohrankmamdani.bsky.social

New holiday: Slutsgiving - the New Orleans pre-cuffing season cleanse of our hoe-ish tendencies. A sacred weekend of philanthropic genital outreach across New Orleans, the same way Mardi Gras season precedes Lent. Instead of throwing out beads we’re throwing out backs #BetweenTheSkeets

We’ve reached the point where you can’t even blame Dave Matthews anymore. You’ve gotta blame the people still playing Dave Matthews. When do they start taking personal responsibility?

Eat a dick, #NFL. I knew I shouldn't have sprung for Sunday Ticket. I can't even watch the game this morning. WTF is Sunday Ticket even for if there are games you can't watch?

Let's stop funding fascism together.... bigbeautifulboycott.us

Because these fake christians and their imaginary friend usually have matching imaginary morals and ethics.... Shoutout to the mosque that was actually willing to help. (Yall friend still imaginary too, tho.) youtube.com/shorts/B3RLR...

I just realized that, while I was trying to be a good sportsman when I played football, it could be perceived as me being a dick. Me after a tackle & falling hard on the player: "My fault. You alright?" Player: "No, I ain't alright. YOU JUST HIT ME! FUCK YOU!"

If you see this, quote with a selfie/video of you when you felt cute

"He's only punching diiiiicks!" #Dispatch

😂😂😂😂😂

Period.

Every time I see this dude, all I can think of.....

“Marry the slut” is a step forward, sure. But the goal ain’t rebranding purity, it’s burying it. Just say, “marry someone who actually likes sex.” Then go to therapy. If your ego can’t handle your partner’s past, you’re the one who’s not relationship material.

Shoutout to my guy Loki from Silver Fox Tattoo in Atlanta, Georgia but he was in New Orleans for Halloween and made time to tattoo an old friend!

AI got people fucked up. I’m in a bar, the Australian tourism commercial comes on, and this dude says, “That animated kangaroo? She thicc!” What in the off-duty-furry hell?!

Yep. The Falcons Falcon'd all over the place. I don't know what's worse, getting blown out by teams they should beat or barely losing late to teams that should bust them up

I remember being a real football player, watching the game my team and I bled for get pissed away by a…ugh…kicker. #DefundKickers

Where do I apply to downgrade from Falcons fan to distant well-wisher with limited emotional liability?

No one can convince me that JD Vance has ever fucked. Ever.

Check on your sober Falcons fan friends. Fuck a relapse, this team could make a nun mainline heroin before halftime.

I've had a really good weekend. Welp. Time to watch the Falcons game and get this disappointment in to prepare me for the week....

1...4...9.

This is why you don't trust people with imaginary friends. Most times, their morals and ethics are imaginary too...

If you knew what kind of willpower it takes for me to stay inside... With a city quarter-full of big-titty Black Velmas?

My favorite Halloween prank is to turn out all the lights and lie in bed really still until morning. Still undefeated.

Never underestimate an idiot’s ability to total a car that was already wrecked, or their talent for dodging the bill when no one can afford the insurance.

I second it.