Last year on tour, I asked bookstores who was the weirdest writer ever to come sign? Answer: The writer who made us set the books singly on the carpet in a checkerboard pattern and *slithered on their belly* between the books to sign."

This is also how my eyes look when I watch people play a game. Cool zine by @jonegreaves.bsky.social. Just wish these eyes weren't showing up whenever I close my own.

Doing things I’ve only dreamed of

CZF will be back on Saturday October 10th!! We're thrilled to be returning to the Winter Garden in the Harold Washington Library Center, thanks to the generous partnership of @chipublib.bsky.social!

Using LIDAR to hunt gnomes

Where can I join Zohran's Nonbinary Preatorians

Understand that even the crudest artificial imitation of my character would stop at nothing to kill its creator

They’re putting me in a gun and shooting me tomorrow

Not sure what I’m rebelling against by disabling auto correct on my phone, but it certainly feels like a return to fundamentals.

For a second I thought you meant Mel Brooks made a samurai pizza cats movie

no one knows what's in the Melania movie. and no one ever will. lost media currently playing in theaters

I suspected Authority was coming from a place of experience but damn.

New walls are up, joined and painted. The story of the damage still lingers in the minor abrasions and small cracks too sparse to address that radiate beyond the repairs.

carving faces into the foundation

I love youtube videos that are like "The Most Disturbing Painting I've Ever Seen" because it's almost always Francis Bacon or Zdzisław Beksiński and I like looking at their paintings lol

Dad went and got a Christmas tree but once we started putting the ornaments on, it rustled. We learned there was a little man clutching the tree, who would answer no questions nor tolerate being moved. It was fun for a couple days but then dad got him with the bug zapper and swept him outside

Signed away my likeness to appear in an obscure game in a dying genre

We’re squandering this malapropism.

Unexplained lights in the sky synced to my playlist

Found a desiccated little man in my couch. A relief, thought my furniture was going bad.

A witch cursed me with abrasive calluses on my heels for talking too loud while resting on the edge of a creek

Decided to start taking my neighbor’s dog’s premonitions seriously.

I’ve never seen a crab show fear

Too quiet and you hear the wind howling

Authority with the rabbits

Finding concerning parallels between my life and the story told in this novel I only recall purchasing in a dream.

Having to reset my authentication methods as my dreams appear to have been compromised by another presence

Several ghosts and about two thirds of an ant colony were raptured today, filling this month's quota ahead of schedule.

The kilter is misaligned

Clouds shouldn't be this angry without rain.

A trail cam entombed within an interior wall, discovered several homeowners later during renovations. A few uncorrupted pictures told a story of poor humidity control and little else.

Opened a door that had been locked for several decades and wouldn't you know it a mess of trauma spilled out.

You've changed. So have I. So has everything else. Per usual.

Trick is to catch yourself looking elsewhere in the mirror.

A wind blows in, its temperament already sour. Begins rattling the shutters outside a terrified man's bedroom. He had just dreamt his own death. Had no way of knowing how accurate that dream would turn out to be. The wind knows nothing of this, in a bad mood. Acting out.

Large, rough fingers crest the horizon, shock tantamount to plunging in frigid water, the titan nears.

The soothing embrace of thousands of bugs upon your skin.

Offering my emotional state up to the algorithms to see what blessings they bestow upon me. As my words and interactions filter down and disseminate into clean, marketable demographics I am gifted with the chorus of thousands screaming. Of horns thundering across smoldering rubble. Gnashing of teeth

Working through the emotional distress of something only revealed to me in dreams and then forgotten

Suspect if I could open my eyes faster I could see the truth

We're supposed to ignore the ghoul weeping in the corner or it will just weep louder. No way around it.

Bags of chips that go stale before being finished don't get in to heaven

Picture a gluttonous, jewel-encrusted king. Every piece of jewelry he wears is opulent, yes, but also fully functional. A gold necklace of every screw head bit known to man. A platinum ring with a notch to peel an orange. A crown that transforms into a spectacular aluminum T-Rex figure.

Was up past 3am again doing flash cards to remember the difference between a relic, an artifact, and a totem.

When you join a new social media platform there a graphic birthing scene representing your arrival should play on the screen, unskippable. And if you had to sign up to see an article or participate in an event it should be a c-section.