that's crazy man

spectacular dunk on Reagan

I've been thinking about this and I'm pretty sure a series in Kauffman Stadium will do it

I'm pretty certain the Mariners are a good baseball team and I have plenty of evidence to back it up but lol, lmao even

ah, May. Or as I like to call it, do I have a cold or the worst allergies of my life season

the Mariners are now 7 games into a 41-game stretch of teams with negative run differentials. So far, so good

mariners legend

Bail is for people who haven't been convicted of a crime. This is voter disenfranchisement. This keeps eligible voters from voting & creates justifiable distrust of electeds among families, who then may not vote. When you blame your problems on non-voters, perhaps ask what disenfranchised them.

Jay Buhner feels like a relic of an era when baseball was wayyyyyyy more homoerotic

i'm probably the last devoted deadhead in the entire world to have never spun 10/11/83 but holy shit guys this Loser is blazing

[to the tune of Teenage Dream] 🎶 I’m Conway Twitty/without any makeup on 🎵

adriana is gonna go nuts when she learns about modern Shakespeare production techniques. Turns out you can simply remove Fortinbras and all references to him!

okay I'm fairly certain there's some nuance being glossed over to make this sound better, but I also don't give a shit, I didn't even know it was possible to do this and it's been not even 5 and a half months

the washington toast

fuck this thing

when the Shostakovich 5 program notes uncritically repeat large portions of Testimony but the program has to be to the printer when they open Monday morning so you have to use them anyway

one time I had to explain to a younger coworker that the big club banger when I was in high school had a bridge that just repeated “hush girl, shut your lips/do the helen keller and talk with your hips”

i feel like it has to be some stomp clap hey shit right?

Toad looked around. He saw that Frog was not there. “I AM ALL ALONE!” screamed Toad.

actual applause for Katie Wilson, literally no audience reaction to Deborah Juarez at the Storm game

what’s the deal with central division ballparks and being hitter’s paradises

i'm entering the war on prescription drugs on the side of prescription drugs

dril tweet about candles but it's my city is dying and cops and so on

if you want to live in a cute residential neighborhood and drive everywhere and always be able to park on the street, move to North Bend. simple

I worry that homeownership does something irreversible to people’s brains

436 feet jesus god

JULIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

gotta smuggle my mother’s day presents into the park

well gas is officially over $6/gal at the more expensive places in Seattle

have it yuri way

he can't keep getting away with this

many doubt Andrés Muñoz but I’m so confident he’s fixed that I’m going to post about it now, with two outs

I think Julio just broke Austin Riley’s thumb

oh I see. So I just have to not watch and they’ll win

if this is just who post-injury Logan Gilbert is that will be crushing to me personally

very excited to get to root against the Braves AND Bainbridge Island. Very convenient

me when Josh Naylor puts the ball in play

tis the season (above 75°) (also yes I use apple music sometimes, don’t yell at me, I get it for free)

the Mariners have played 35 games and for the first 15-20 of those their most important three hitters were worse than useless. if you're basing your rest-of-season predictions on how they've played up to this point without taking that into account I assume you just want to be miserable

This is a completely ridiculous take. Obviously everyone who moved to Seattle *after I did* should be required to leave.

there's a handful of protesters outside the Queen Anne Dick's and one of them has a sign that says TRUMP = BARRABAS and first of all it's not Easter weekend but second of all I feel like Barrabas is catching some strays

this is nearly identical to my recipe for masturbating chicken

my hot take for the day is you don’t have to like hair metal but by any objective metric appetite for destruction is a perfect album

the sports fan obsession with punishing athletes who make mistakes, even if it would actually make winning less likely, is directly related to our societal obsession with punishing ”criminals” even though it ultimately leads to worse public safety. In this essay, I will

🦅

I love following a lot of Phish people because I have no fucking clue what anyone is talking about but you’re all obviously having a great time and I think that’s beautiful