What's the word for when you have pink eye but you're also very horny

anyways apropos to my last post there's this one heinous annoying dude who I have hella mutuals with who looks like Watto to me and I can't shake it

you don't have to be nice to that ugly man. especially if he isn't paying you

I don't believe in waiting until marriage for sex but I do wish I had picked a nicer moment than "watching the Brave Little Toaster sequel at age 16"

all of my mutuals are cool and hot and all of my non mutuals are lame as fuck

Butt stuff

crazy when my coworkers complain about being single, look at the employee pool here, we are in the marketplace of ass

do I actually feel like jacking off or am I just bored

the lengths I am willing to go to are literally unmatched for bald men with large cocks

sucked a dick, ate some pizza, and now I'm watching the 1995 crime thriller Heat. these ARE the good old days

I really need to bone more often

I met God and she has huge naturals

This poster enjoys Old Bay seasoning and sucking toes

I do not want a partner who is RICH I want a partner who eats PUSSY and ASS with the tenacity of a death row INMATE enjoying their last MEAL

sorry sugar, mommy doesn't speak to 4/10s

I think getting laid at two pm mountain time today would be highly convenient for me

Another day where my entire hierarchy of needs could be met by getting creampied

2 tired 2 fuck

I want a girl with a short skirt and a loooooooooooong penis

heartbreak sucks but have you ever found out a baddie you have a crush on uses generative ai

every day I log into this app and see some dude who acts like shit and looks like shit and probably smells like shit but is also drowning in baddies

Not happy about the fact that I would let Timothee Chalamet hit if given the chance

my neck, my back, lick my labia/anus etc

cuz I've got one hand in my pocket and the other one's playing with my bush

I had my feelings hurt yesterday and I was bummed about it all day but then I jacked off and now I'm so back

feeling a lil self conscious about the way this shirt is accentuating my sumptuous, heaving tits today

getting laid two weeks in a row, what am I 20?

shooting to have an even better day than yesterday which will be a challenge considering I had my back blown out and got burger king after

Deactivating this account because I didn't feel like I needed it anymore and then almost immediately reactivating because I wanna post about how it's been too long since I've eaten some ass

I am NOT gonna pout about any men this week who look the way unwashed asses smell 😤

Getting railed is a "before dinner" sport because ain't no way am I about to get my back blown out with a big belly full of naan bread and basmati

most days I do not miss selling porn but some days I do

boba except instead of tapioca it's your balls and instead of milk tea it's my mouth full of spit

bitches will literally create a third shitposting account just to avoid going to bed

*sticking my finger in your belly button extra gently*

call me yogurt the way I'm a fruit on the bottom

dying but horny

girls with honkers as immaculate as these should be immune to the common cold

dick from a dude who takes meticulously good care of his cuticles

trying to remember the last time I had a face full of cum for like five minutes before giving up and crying

too sick to even jack off

breathe. unclench your jaw. have unprotected sex with someone you don't really know that well. light a lavender scented candle.

dick from a dude who has the same demeanor as the Sleepy Time Tea bear

if you're blocked on my main account you're blocked on my main account. If you're blocked on both of my accounts you're a piece of shit

Juliebots coming in hot tonight

Dick from a dude who calls it expresso

the smarter a person is the worst their head game will be, that's why I'm so good at suckin, I'm dumber than shit

came very close to getting the d tonight but instead he just fell asleep in my arms like a beautiful sweet cherub angel baby 😒 cool bro

having an alt is just 1% evil and 99% hot gas