FOOL TIME, part 1 of 4 now free to watch on youtube youtu.be/zmyBSrQodnI?...

here is THE HISTORY OF CHARGING THE MOUND, episode 2: mike sweeney vs. jeff weaver. this story involves jim caviezel, steve wilkos, extreme passive-aggressiveness, some solid ground-and-pound, a cheap shot, and eventual crying www.patreon.com/posts/mike-s...

on monday, Jon will spend nearly 30 minutes relitigating a quarter-century old disagreement concerning a bag lying on the ground. here’s what he thinks about that

dropping next monday on the patreon (28 minutes)

Fledgling (14/14)

Fledgling (13/14)

Fledgling (12/14)

Fledgling (11/14)

Fledgling (10/14)

Fledgling (9/14)

Fledgling (8/14)

Fledgling (7/14)

Fledgling (6/14)

Fledgling (5/14)

Fledgling (4/14)

Fledgling (3/14)

In honour of my new baby and in honour of not supposed to be working, over the next few weeks I'm going to post this short story called 'Fledgling' I made for my patreon 2 years ago. This is part 1/14.

They're baaaaack!

Improbably Compatible #oldknees

leave society, be a monkey

whenever the sun sets at 4:45 pm i open a window, lean out and yell "WRONG" as loud as i can. that usually buys me another hour or two of sunlight

i think that people who use headphones in public places like trains are selfish. keeping all your cool music and podcasts to yourself is genuinely sociopathic and deranged behavior. play it on your phone's speaker and let everyone enjoy it, or don't play it at all

[11 simultaneous notifications] We’re sorry. The data-harvesting software associated with some Bluetooth thing you connected that you didn’t know about because we didn’t tell you about it failed to install. Please go to our weird site.

this is the play in which sheldon rankins conjured a scorigami out of absolutely nothing. 30-29 had happened plenty of times and so had 37-29. scorigami only happened because the refs didn't make them stick around for the extra point

“I’m strong and I want to have like fifty kids and a farm” of course you do. You’re twelve. “I don’t want to eat vegetables I think steak and French fries is the only meal” hell yeah homie you’re twelve. “Maybe if there’s crime we should just send the army” bless your heart my twelve year old buddy

working on a new unified theory of american reality i'm calling "everyone is twelve now"

THE HISTORY OF CHARGING THE MOUND episode 1 up now www.patreon.com/posts/histor...

game 7 is the least important game of the world series because the season’s over at the end of the season either way. they only play it so that someone can feel like they won

i would love to play center field when a no-doubt 430-foot home run is hit and run into the outfield wall at a dead sprint. as the camera cinematically pans up to follow the ball you briefly see me in the corner of the screen absolutely eating shit

q: why did the outfielders raise their arms during this play? a: according to the ancient scrolls in which the rules of baseball were found, if a ball lands and doesn't bounce that ball is declared god. the players were worshipping god. i doubt there will be a game 7 or any further baseball seasons

Okay I think we can start having random past players join the game with wrestling entrances

oh no, the fox broadcast is zooming in on normal food in the stadium somewhere while the broadcasters say "that looks good to eat." they're developing Regular Season Madness

the last six weeks or so of m's baseball has been some of the most fun baseball i've seen in my life

i see you're doing something online that you have effortlessly done 100,000 times. would you like to use this ai tool? would you like to use this ai tool? would you like to use this ai tool? would you like to use this ai tool? would you like to use this ai tool? would you like to use this ai tool? w

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Welcome to Dorktown Mayor, Shohei Ohtani

shohei's 10 strikeouts and moonshot home run distances were really just for style points. short of pitching a complete game he completely maxed out all channels through which he could deliver objective value, so he poured his leftover brilliance into knocking out side quests. it seems impossible

after spending all year behind the paywall, part 1 of my documentary series FOOL TIME is now unlocked and free to watch for everybody: www.patreon.com/posts/fool-t...

40-40 is the second-highest-scoring tie game in nfl history, and the very highest of the super bowl era