I swear, she knows how to pose

The anti-aging millionaire guy finally copped to dating his employee who is 18 years his junior and recorded him taking mushrooms, in a long ass post that’s basically summed up by, “I ain’t reading all that. I’m happy for you tho or sorry that happened.”

I normally try to go outside at least once while there’s still daylight, but it’s raining and I’m going to Brooklyn after work 🫠

The Transit Museum’s model train set is like, “this is what happens when you leave the city”

It’s that time of year again (to start making my Bubbles calendar for 2026)

I keep seeing the actor who plays Hal Cooper in Hallmark movies and every time he pops up, I’m like, “it’s the Black Hood!”

A little kid wanting to join the Starbucks union picket line seems like a very “only in New York” moment

My parents put some Christmas decorations up and now my dad keeps making the same, “did you see the balls on that Santa??” joke 🫠

Hell yeah, lumpia for Thanksgiving!

My parents’ favorite pizza place in our hometown got shut down because of tax evasion 🥲

My parents are coming to pick me up so I can go to their house (my dialysis supplies are too heavy to bring on the train and I didn’t get any mailed to their house yet) and my dad wants to get dinner from the restaurant my neighbor works at 🫠

Just remembered the time one of my friends from work told a group of us that she went to the same church as Hakeem Jeffries when they were growing up and he was apparently a notorious fuckboy 🥴

I think I’m starting to feel better now that I’m doing dialysis, but getting some energy back is also making the morning caffeine withdrawal more obvious

Finally 😭😭😭 now give me my rent abatement, landlord!

Played a board game last night where our characters were exploring an unknown planet; I was the only woman playing. All the guys’ characters ended up exploring beautiful beaches, and mine got stuck in a cave with a sandworm,which kind of seems like a metaphor for life in this sexist world 🥲

Supposedly Con Edison is coming to turn the gas back on in each unit in the building tonight. Antoine want to take bets on if this actually happens? 👀🙃

My mom used to use Bill Gates as an example of why I shouldn’t say mean stuff about rich people, and whelp…

What was 17 year old me being so dramatic about that it seemed worse than almost losing my toes, lmao

Decided to skip a meetup this afternoon because I woke up late and Bubbles wants attention

My smart watch said I was sleeping between 11 am and noon this morning, and I was actually just laying on the couch and looking at my phone 🫠

I should probably not make fun of it, but Secret Lives of Mormon Wives adding an episode dedicated almost entirely to “we’re Mormon, but we’re not homophobic! Look at us throw a Pride event! Look at one of the moms hang out with her one gay friend!” is very funny to md

My friend’s friend who I think I was vibing wit h a few weeks ago accepted my Facebook friend request (he does not have instagram), and it feels very 2009, like when the cute guy who played the saxophone in the band with me in college added me on FB

What world are we living in that Donald Trump is being nicer to Zohran Mamdani than the Democratic establishment??? 😭😭😭

Watching The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives and every time someone’s husband is on screen, I just think may this kind of love never find me 🫠

My parents already saw Wicked instead of waiting to go with me 😡

Me- I don’t really have fixations Also me- I’m going to watch the 60 second clip of Aaron Tveit in Chess singing “One Night in Bangkok,” for the thousandth time

HBOMax is trying to gatekeep me (I use my sister’s account) and I can’t get her to help me log back in, because she had the gall to travel to New Zealand

Technically Zohran will be in the same NYC DSA branch as me when he moves to Gracie Mansion 👀

Gonna be late for a thing after work because I’m doing a short (still like 3-4 hours) session of dialysis this afternoon. Do I tell people that or come up with some lie that doesn’t make me seem sickly or irresponsible?

Joining a Discord conversation I otherwise was not participating in because someone quoted Eric Adams (all my haters will be my waiters…)

Ate too much trail mix and had to sit motionless on the couch for awhile so I wouldn’t throw up 🙃

She is offended that I made her get off my jeans so I could put them away

Told my parents that I was going up to Washington Heights later today and my dad was like, “that’s where the Hamlet guy lives, right?”

If you’re wondering how chronically online I am, I’m currently at a party to celebrate the 1 year anniversary of when a WhatsApp group chat started 🙃

Just saw a profile on Bumble, where the guy’s main photo features both him holding a fish, and someone else’s cute kids that he’s using as props 😭😭😭

Starting the new season of The Secret Lives of Mormon Lives and during one of the ad breaks, one of the women was in a Dunkin commercial and was drinking an iced coffee like???

Hearing that Hari Kondabolu is back on Bumble, wondering, hmm, maybe I can try this one, specific dating app again 🤔

Collecting blackmail on native New Yorkers, just in case…

To everyone viewing the Northern Lights

Someone on my local Buy Nothing is offering people some of the chili she made because she made a big batch of it, and it’s giving me discourse flashbacks 🫠

Watching a Hallmark movie where angels are matchmaking humans, but they call humans “tender hearts” and it skeeves me out so much.

I am too short by 1 inch to be on this list lmao

And yet, the establishment democrats are still like, “but why did so many people want that radical Zohran Mamdani to be the mayor of the NYC?? 😭”

Am I paranoid or did the NYT suddenly make the hard mode of Pips a lot easier this week?

8 months without cooking gas!!! 🥳🥳🥳🫠

Watching the Ziwe Eric Adams interview and wow, he really remembers all the absolute banger quotes he’s said over the years

I feel like George Santos’ crash out isn’t getting enough attention

“I wish Andrew Cuomo only the best in private life”

I’ve voted for them both consistently but Schumer and Gillibrand primary campaigns start tomorrow

"I wish Andrew Cuomo the best in private life, but let tonight be the last time I utter his name." --Mamdani's victory speech is already rocking!