Should I start hornyposting I feel like that's a pretty good bit

Can we just delete this year so far and start over from the top because I am deadass not having a good time rn

Me: "You don't get 'the pass' just because your kid is mixed" Two white guys: "Yeah you do"

My most self-destructive trait these days is convincing myself that people I like are so cool they’d obviously never want to be friends with me, because I’m Just Some Guy

Thinking of that time a coworker told a customer "yeah you can tell if brake fluid is bad from the taste" ...which is true, but that's like, not how we test it, please stop making people think we're just going around drinking fucking brake fluid

Some work I did for my dear friend @marsemeraude.bsky.social of one of his campaign characters, Apollo. #oc #dungeonsanddragons #digitalart

I wanna peg a femboy but I have a penis so I'm pretty sure that's just regular sex Shit don't hit the same gang

But Auschwitz was in Poland and CECOT is in El Salvador so it's not the same thing you guys it's totally different

Oh my god you want me to find "evidence" before putting someone in jail? Every time?? Do you have any idea how long that would take

SAY DRAKE

Thinking of that time I came out as bisexual to the homies by spamming femboys in the discord NSFW channel

Crazy that I never heard of a "Roman salute" until this month

Got your girl snorting mashed potato mix off of my meat

My assistant manager is so titanically incompetent I wouldn't trust her to sharpen a pencil She's good at hiding in the office and posting on Snapchat though

Posting on the toilet at work instead of fixing cars rn

Grabbing a straw and using it to blow my vape directly into my cock so I can inflate it like a balloon

Love all the liberals posting musk/trump memes like "omg I can't believe a billionaire is controlling the government"

Farted so hard it woke my dog up and she started barking at the front door

Today taught me that health insurance is indeed expensive, but the root cause can be taken care of for a few dollars' worth of bullets

Everyone show me your spotify wrapped so I can ignore it and continue listen to the shittiest music ever made

So does anyone on bluesky care about ending late stage capitalism or is it just resistance libs complaining that fascism won instead of fascism with a rainbow flag on it

Game reviewers: STALKER 2 has terrible voice acting, obtuse game mechanics, and is lousy with glitches Me: Ah yes, the true STALKER experience. Splendid.

My shop has these tires with Definitely Not Mario on them

Today I got unsolicited relationship advice from someone whose experience is in prison For murder

The homie asking me "hey you wanna watch Lower Decks" and I'm like "yeah actually" but I'm barely paying attention because I'm looking at the "d'vana_tendi" tag on rule34

Everyone that makes more money than me is part of the bourgeois class (I am unemployed)

MUSTAAAAAAAARD 🗣️

Microsoft Flight Simulator 2024 has introduced a new and radical control scheme, making both controller and HOTAS literally impossible to use on my PC specifically

chorked off the sqwang rn

Time to fill your timeline with the most insane, unhinged bullshit I can muster