leave my gf alone for five minutes and now there's Kate Bush blasting from the other room

We keep a box of tissues in ours specifically because it looks like the yip yip is throwing up

There is a crow, outside my window.. **laughing** at me as I log in to work.

Prepping for Delta Green, "Ok You need to be ready for 'NOFORN' while also being ready for the 'Shoebody Bop.' You people have met me, none of this should not come as a surprise."

Marco Inaros did nothing (99.999999999% of things) wrong.

Gimme your $20 so I can fight fascism (Grab another bottle of the 15 year old Macallan double cask)

It's going to a bottle of whisky. You happy, Putinbots?!

I will tolerate no eagles bullshit until they win a title (literally never)

Combating the Philly/Chicago posting (you're the same fuckin city, sorry) by talking about the heroes from Lioni's The mozzarella is better, the sauce is better, the people know how to actually cook some food. Sorry.

All I'm saying is everyone focuses on "there are four lights" and not the declining empire that focuses on increasing internal oppression and aligning with a power that subsumes the existing power

A good father doesn't drive the mother of his children to suicide

timeline cleanser www.youtube.com/watch?v=I5XR...

Renewing my license and renting a car, just to park at a green light.

Moving from rage to laughing my ass off as people lean on their horns, stuck behind a double-parked truck. That's right, guys, keep honking, that'll definitely get them to move and lower your blood pressure

Watching Palm Royale and I’m pretty sure it’s illegal for Ricky Martin to still be that hot.

You’re laughing… A representative of our pure and beautiful police state ate shit and you’re laughing..

*Waking up with dried blood on my face* He’s going to ban laughing as noise pollution because they’re afraid of women experiencing joy.

Usually the honking on my street is enraging. But someone’s car broke down and a hummer is stuck and it’s hilarious. Happy New Year!

Yes, you're right building super, I *should* be regularly checking under the kitchen sink to see if it's rusting and not wait until I notice a leak. That is a normal thing that everyone does.

Having intrusive thoughts of stepping on a mouse trap. I’m not gonna do it. But every time I see one my brain whispers, “step on iiiiiiiiiit”

Scaring my gf cackling at the repeated “patrolling the Mojave almost makes you wish for a nuclear winter”

Practicing sutures on the training kit my gf got me for Christmas. Which she won.

"Wait wasn't it our [earlier dog] that bit you?" Maybe but either way maybe you can't raise dogs, mom!

Dudes can rock a little, as a treat

If you happen to be middle aged white guy who tried to cut a turn short on Cortelyou, I hope your shit box explodes

Looking forward to encountering the guy who almost ran me over in the crosswalk who returned the bird I flipped him

Showing our roommate Better Call Saul, after he’s only seen Pluribus “Oh my god, she’s so good” Yessss

Developing a relationship with the local butcher by asking about fresh duck and if they can grind a lamb's leg for me (yes, but you need to buy/ask the day before)

My sinuses feel like they're at 100 psi

Making matzo ball soup and once again thanking @hels.bsky.social for introducing me to double stock

Are they doing another loop?

Love the people leaning on their horns behind the Lady of Guadalupe procession. Yeah, bud, another couple of minutes, that'll get you going.

A horn honks .000000003 seconds after the light turns green, my cursor trembles over the "Place Order" button on a slingshot and 45,000 bb's

This is a great read about a place I really loved, Barboncino.

Just went through an emotional rollercoaster as I thought season 2 of Fallout started yesterday but it's the 17th

Foley work is so cool

Randomly remembering an assignment in civics where you build a society on the moon with supplies, and twenty years later I’m still mad that the “correct” use of the two .45 pistols was propulsion in an emergency and not for enforcing the laws. Really got into it with the teacher about it not working

"Why shouldn't they pay the fee?" I DON'T KNOW OR CARE, YOU'RE THE OWNER. MAKE A FUCKING DECISION AND ANSWER MY YES OR NO QUESTION. FUCK.

Just caught the puppy I'm sitting for trying to eat a penny. Which is a first for me.

I'm a coward who only got the "I'm not having a good time" shirt and not the "Dick Ripper" shirt from @roryblank.bsky.social but I hope others out there are braver than me.

Gueeeeess who's nail just got snagged on a t-shirt and tore back open!

Cut through my nail (and bed) to get out of slicing bread. I have lost 20% of my blood.

The puppy I’m watching is SO MAD that other dogs get attention. Angrily barking at the screen

To hell with the parade GIMME SOME DOGS. ALL THE DOGS. I WANT EVERY SINGLE DOG.

Cursed

Dogsitting and the two of them are VERY upset I'm working at the desk and not lying on the couch, petting them.

“KEVIN. YOU DUMPED TAR ON THE GOD DAMN OAK?!”

NUZZI: i… i love you RFK: [makes sounds like a rusty 1992 ge gas dryer full of drywall screws with a belt mere minutes from failure] NUZZI: what’s the matter baby. did your drink go down the wrong way

Tired: fallout is about how an increasingly fascistic society relies on nostalgia and scapegoats. You see, even over a hundred years later, they rely on the false image that the post-war yea- Wired: yeah I’m marching under Sarita Choudhury’s banner (the bear with two heads)