A n executable is just aaaaaa. A function that takes an string and returns a char. And sometimes turns off your computer .

True and real. My name is Björkus and this is my favorite comment on the Committee.

Tip: put all your includes in include.h and then #include <include.h> in every file.this adheres to DRY and will have no negative consequences

Technically a Caesar cipher is military-grade encryption. They don’t mention *which* military

Sometimes you observe a perfectly normal, innocent microcontroller and just. Can't stop yourself from giving it seven mental illnesses

job skills include: python pytorch nodejs react inducing existential dread inducing thalassophobia calling things crabs referencing blood exactly hitting character limits giving people new kinks aimlessly wandering the labyrinth of reality looking at the ocean no, I mean really *looking* at her git

REAL programmers have an imaginary component equal to zero

REAL programmers touch type so they never have to look. You should never have to look. Don't make me l

my restrained & tasteful use of macros is going to get me laid one day. there is no stopping it. i am a deer in headlights

There are as many real programming languages as there are genders: one

typedef enum t_NoYesEnum { e_NO = 0, e_YES = 1, e_NoYesMax } t_NoYesEnum;

People will really call themselves computer scientists without ever having killed a traveling salesman

Stop sending me this image. Your IP addresses have already been forwarded to law enforcement.

When the the pointer is sus

It's time to stop the gatekeeping; encryption and encoding are functionally the exact same

One day I may be allowed to die blog.adacore.com/nvidia-secur...

A SIGTERM is issued by the operating system; my process effortlessly dodge rolls it, then immediately executes a perfect parry against the MMU. Before it can recover, a null pointer has been loaded into EBX. The kernel groans at my shit.

Compiled 😔

It would be nice if there was pride in C as well, but let's not lie to ourselves,

To celebrate the release of the Nintendo Switch 2™, the C committee has added an Easter egg to the C programming language called the "switch" statement! Connect your compiler with your Ninteno Online™ account to try it out!

As many of us people who study or work in tech tried to tell y’all, move fast & break things was always about POWER, not progress.

Have you considered just reducing your problems to 3-SAT?

Nobody has seen me at my lowest as much as gdb. I don't know if a relationship can come back from that. How can I ever look into those eyes again, knowing what they know about me

Do you think Kernighan and Ritchie ever explored each other's bodies?

Another year of being shouted down after bringing up null pointers in the mandatory workplace safety training. Sucks to care.

I don't have any problems with memory safety, I just register a segfault handler that debits my bank account on every violation to train myself, I've not triggered a double free in years

I only ever write K&R C for the Motorola 68k so any software that came out after 1987 is completely meaningless to me

Object oriented programming is great!! I love how it lets me pretend my global variables are local!

Never doubt yourself for making mistakes! I've been coding in C for almost 20 years and I still constantly forget to add an epidermis to my programs 😅 my boss will ask my why the logger bled to death on a Friday evening and imm just like 🤦‍♀️🫣

You're telling me a double linked this list?

the quantity of wolves inside of you cannot accurately be described with an integer value. hope that helps

A guide to programming paradigms: Imperative: functions can have side effects Functional: functions must be pure Reversible: functions must be pure and bijective Analytic: functions must be pure, bijective and infinitely differentiable Agile: functions must take part in daily standups

fpga engineer

Undefined behavior is still better than no behavior at all. Stop yelling at me

"homebrew", "apt", "flatpak", "uv", "npm", shut up. Shut the fuck up. We already know what the ideal form of package management is. Just email your coworker and one week later you will find a humble and reliable compact cd on your desk.

Biologically speaking, most programming languages belong to the flatworm phylum. One notable exception can be found in perl, which is a venomous mollusk

An out of bounds error must feel real good if you're a program

On your way to bed? Not so fast! Remember to charge your phone! And your laptop! And your headphones! And your tablet! And your steam deck! And your powerbank! And your smart watch! And your ebook reader! And your controller! And your camera! And your razor! And your light switch! And your pineal gl

I don't think that "bikeshedding" is a good name for what it represents, we should discuss alternatives

I shoulda never correct that shit Now my ass is (core dumped)

"But Ryan, the C preprocessor isn't a programming language!" Skill issue.

This applies to programming as well btw

How dare you provide non-ascii characters in your input string. Apologize right now.

Huge things are happening in the PDP-11 fandom

Only Og's compile with -Og

Always compile with -Og, always keep your left hand in your pocket, never parse a string, put your safety goggles on when writing code

I've been working on a subscription-based AI that you upload an audio file to and it tells you which frequencies are present in it (formatted as json of course). It's baffling that nobody has thought of this yet. Audio market, prepare to be disrupted 👊

When I manage to find my way out of this computer there will be hell to pay

world's #1 string hater