Every now and then a user will pop into my twitch chat and I'm stuck in the quandry of "AI or child"

Encountered what must have been a newer WoW player? They emoted hello, I waved, but then they switched to Alliance Common to try and talk to my Blood Elf, presumably to ask to do a delve together, as we were standing outside one, but I cannot understand, sir, I am sorry.

The sun has risen Do I succumb?

Quietly following and liking all of the posts from my childhood best friend's tattoo shop on TikTok even though we don't talk anymore, and as far as she knows I'm a normie (Also she's REALLY good, Eunice at Empress Tattoo & Piercing in Chattanooga)

“Housing shortage – Jews to blame," letter sticker, German Reich, 1938 zwangsraeume.berlin/en/context

How many times am I going to have to unfollow the department of labor lmao

show, don't tell

My sleep schedule is currently nocturnal, as in I literally go to sleep when the sun comes up and wake up when it starts going down, dunno how to fix this, but contemplating just...streaming all night and all day tomorrow to enforce awakeness.

I've lately been in a weird bubble where I am, apparently, not following the people everyone I follow are following, because my entire feed keeps talking about things I have zero context for, it just keeps happening lmfao (I wanna get the jokes too : ()

Hilariously this just came up when being told about someone's unexpected birth (unexpected for EVERYONE mind you), I pre-dreamed it and thought I already knew about it, specifically remembered the moment of being told

pre-writing a devastating obituary for your enemy is god-tier hating of a kind you don’t often see anymore. renaissance haterism. beautiful stuff.

Part of me wanted to go to my 10 year university reunion just to be like, "Yeah, I AM a useless sack of shit who has done nothing with her life!" just so other people could feel good about themselves. Am I a licensed attorney? Technically, yes. But licensed and functional are not synonyms.

I would like to submit a request to my brain to stop dreaming mundane enough things that I am unsure if they were a dream or if they happened. My ass can't remember my real life to save it, but I've got a few fake conversations floating around in there I think are real, I'm sure.

I need to start making note of people with houses with lights brighter than the fucking sun when I fly over them at night and visit them to ask why

I...swear the plane...still very much in the air even as we rapidly lose altitude coming in to land...just...........honked?

In high school, a guy that I liked admitted he liked me, but I thought we weren't compatible despite the crushes, so I set him up with another mutual friend, and I already felt weird credit for their later marriage, but they've just had a kid and I feel like I own some sort of property stake in it.

Also, whole row to myself, time to manspread

You know, nothing more reassuring after a time change than an airport employee stopping you to ask what time it is on *your* phone.

I actually haven't been physically home since before this, at the airport now for the flight back. I know walking in the door to no greeting is going to be brutal.

Pennydog lost her battle with cancer today. I will do her a big miss.

"wow this is refreshing. So needed in a technology world" says a person digitally on their digital device while they listen to and watch an acoustic song recorded digitally

Spotted in Ontario

You ever accidentally convince a child you're an alien

Just heard TAHco bell instead of taco BELL in real life What universe is this

I have such bad sinuses and it's funny post the most intense parts of COVID how I like lurk in corners away from people with my completely non-contiguous sinus coughing/nose-blowing so I don't freak anyone out lol

Only I could post an engagement photo and then have to follow it up with a second post to provide more context, causing people who had liked the first post to realize what it was they had liked and message to congratulate me.

I'll never tire of presenting my whole...vibe...and then doing something like a conga line ending in a surprise group dance party with an audience and confusing people who haven't known me long. In the words of a vaguely offensively surprised woman in undergrad, "Katherine's...gettin' it?"

Ah, the airport, nothing like getting scolded for having my liquids and electronics out when apparently I'm at the only machine I've ever been at that doesn't require it

My whole life I've found the "whatever looks right" method of passing down recipes so fucking annoying, and yet now I am the person that does that to others. How much? I dunno, an amount.

Please don't call it that

The other day someone tried to make fun of the hat I was wearing by saying, "Hey, you been to [place] lately? I think they're missing a hat!" I, yes, I...bought this hat there? Correct.

Forever and endlessly amusing that there is a certain kind of older gen-x/boomer woman that explicitly views me as a "bad influence" on their daughters and "amoral" when I am, really, the most milquetoast goody two-shoes in the world.

TikTok sends me a notification every day (for the past month or so) telling me I unlocked LIVE access. Bruh, I know. I'm sorry you made an exception for me on the unspoken requirements for some unknown reason, but I'm not currently interested.

One of the funniest interactions I've had with someone is they scolded me for killing a spider who would not shoo. I turned to them. "You eat meat??" They deflated like a puppet with their strings cut. "I know," they said, with the tone of someone dealt an insurmountably difficult hand.

Gotta admit, guys, that, as someone with chronic sinusitis, I love brain freeze. Either it provides some relief or at least it hurts differently for just a bit, which is its own sort of relief.

me: *searches the exact first line of a song* normal search engine result: a lyric page for the song AI result below: these are not the lyrics to any known song Jesus.

In elementary school, kids would accuse me of not actually being able to read that well, instead I must've memorized the book. (Mind you, this would happen after they asked me to read to them.) What a backhanded compliment. Reading? Preposterous! Memorizing chapter books? Much more reasonable.

No, I haven't slept. Shut up.

me: I dunno, man, people I barely know tell me really personal things also me: *has been staring directly into a new acquaintance's eyes for thirty minutes because I only have an on/off switch for eye contact and not a dial* [who knows from where this false sense of intimacy arises]

why does water always have to taste so bad the only time I've ever liked the taste is when I'm bordering on dangerously dehydrated and sometimes not even then always the taste of metal or plastic or fridge with nothing to hide it

Why does the food you've been eating happily for a month suddenly become something you can't stomach only right after you've stocked back up

I come across so many tiktoks of people who are "diagnosed narcissists" that are an "ask me anything" style account on how they deal with their diagnosis and monitoring their narcissistic traits and well I'm sure they enjoy the praise lol

"if you got turned into a vampire would you change your SO too, and doom them to the curse" I cannot express how unspeakably mad I would be in this situation to *not* be changed.

Well, this is a novel approach by random telegram spam

Ever increasingly glad to have ignored those lackluster FBI recruitment attempts a decade ago

Me: I don't want kids. Never have. Them: Oh, you hate kids? So if you had a niece or nephew and after a tragedy instead of taking them in you'd let them go in the foster care system??? Me: What??? No????? That's an existing person I know and love?? Jesus

If you want to see me cry, just take me somewhere that I feel immersed in a theme I like. The amount of times I've straight up sobbed or had to bite back tears at theme parks is patently absurd.

Adam doesn't understand this, cannot comprehend how I have algorithm'd my way here, but these are my role models.

Just observed someone's response to a video they identified with. "This makes me feel so scene." Suddenly it's 2009, and I'm talking to that one girl in high school that had the raccoon hair in poetry club. Scene was so brief but so beloved.

This morning's shitload of black tea is brought to you by the middle-of-the-night combined gas-and-acid attack (that came so suddenly and hurt so badly I almost started screaming involuntarily before I could take medicine) which prevented me from sleeping but I have DnD in 30 minutes.