Big thanks to my friend over at @wearjackfruits.com for sending this to me. Been trying to wear more speedos recently and this fits exactly as it should. If you haven’t checked them out yet, check out wearjackfruits.com. They also cover US tariffs, so no big markups!

Just feeling fat and juicy today. Also someone really did not like that locker behind me.

Stache ✅ Dad vibes ✅ Golf ✅

Gaywatch 🏖️

Speedos are year-round IMO

Stache + dressed up

Tropical thunder 🌴

husband says i smell 👃 ❤️

Chest day and tummy Tuesday!

100%

It’s a Charmander shirt and no pants kind of day.

Boat pic in PV, looking for my sunglasses 🕶️🌴

🐻 👋🏼

Shaved head and a little pump makes me feel so fucking DIVA 👩‍🎤 *need someone to suck on my nipples badly*

This is what I look like when pretending I’m unaware that I’m taking a selfie. This is also what Zuri looks like when she’s hiding her head in shame.

Downlighting. Reduced exposure. Turn to the side to make your arm look huge. Crop out your belly. Follow me for more ways to disappoint people when they meet you in real life.

Tummy… Wednesday? Why not.

Monochrome Monday. Sadly this gym closed down a few years back. Had a great locker room.

Who ready for a headlock?

I’m like the 🫩 emoji if it was a real person

15 year Dad evolution!

I tried it (mostly wanted to show off my NG can 🥰)

🥩

Dad vibes

📏

💪

❄️ 😇