its driving me insane the way they repeatedly shoot or threaten to kill stain repeatedly for being too much of a hassle through the game and i like that stain is allowed to develop a fear of it he doesn't go through the series blind to it he keeps going WHY DID YOU DO THAT YOURE A BAD PERSON

FUCK.

stain and sugar are the opposite sides of the same coins

i have to draw my own stain fanart because i know no ones going to look at his cute while letting him look old and gross like in his model i have to. theyre already giving him long hair and shaving him stop stop stop stop give him bald instead.

because of this, disability is seen as a mens issue. its seen as a "mans thing." a disabled man is Allowed To Exist. a disabled women is not. in fiction and in reality. because of this, men see themselves as victims to disability, and women immune to it. that then reinforces the whole cycle.

people interpret the lack of exposure of disabled women in comparison to disabled men to mean that they are getting taken care of, or that they are not as common. in reality, the lack of exposure is because they are chucked away in the corners of the world and left alone until they vanish.

thats also why people think the rates of disabilities such as autism or down syndrome are more common in men than they are women. it's not more common, most disabled women are just already deemed disabled in childhood, they dont get added to the statistic bc they dont need a diagnosis.

ill need to write more about the intersections of misogyny and disability. moreso than men, disabled girls are "hidden away." they are more likely to have a childhood like mine where i was kept in one house and not allowed to leave and denied an education, then they are treated like disabled boys

the way that they treat stain in character is very funny, it ironically reminds me of middleschool. growing up i had almost no girl friends at all, and all the ones i did have eventually transitioned. seeing the way that they treat stain reminds me why. there is a very specific form of "bonding"

i feel like recently theres been a slow increase of "improve" series that are less improve and more just digital larping through videogames in a sort of machinima-minecraft-garys mod way but like explicitly more meaningful and also more transgender. thats pretty awesome.

i hate to say it. i think i like hlvrai2 more than i like the original one

ive sort of forcefully unlearned my instinct to make cross overs but at this point im tempted to stop drawing my fursonas and ltierally just draw my fictives interacting. i already do that sometimes.

"dont KNEEL when its treat time it adds a weird undertone that i dont like" < lesson i also had to learn in my teen years

power fantasy: i was raised by wolves in a single shed and only given random objects for my entire life before a group of funny and kind people come to rescue me and i make their life a living hell because im a grown adult who only experienced One Room but they love me so much that its worth it

Gaia and Ley Lines 🌎

see my problem is i always want to write stories about people who lived in one room their whole life and have just been let out into the "real world" and theyre like completely lost and not adapt at all. but i dont want to have to write the people who help them adapt. im like i dont fucking know

i really like stain. he seems like a character id make up in a dnd group when i was 16. i like them trying to positively reinforce his exploration of the outside world with "treats"

stain and alex should be friends they're both unschooled disabled adults.

stain experiencing an inconvinience and getting on his knees and screaming JUST KILL ME SO I CAN GO BACK TO MY HOUSE. unschooled adult vibes.

i love scorpys depiction of stains amazement at the world. that is how i often feel exploring the world as an omelas child.

my evil secret: growing up i wanted to go into advertising.

I will NEVER not find it funny how that certain breed of pot smokers treat it like they’re doing psychedelics LOL. Those trippy rainbow aesthetics almost always paired with pics of like, Rick and Morty melting or some shit

growing up my dad would turn on specific songs on repeat to fit his moods. the most notable one is mad world. its a trigger for me and my sisters at this point. one time i got in an arguement with him about it, asked him why he listens to sad music when hes sad instead of doing something to cheer

it is kinda interesting to watch america go to war and revert to extremely racist catholic delusional ways of living and to watch everyone go erm what the freaking heck is even happening isnt it 2026 lol how can you even do this. well. they did it last time. and the time before. and the time before

reminds me of how the fetishization of breasts was done by american soldiers, and how swimsuits, censorship and sexual panic like this always comes around during war time.

everyone wants the internet to be something id rather die than be involved with.

insisting your mutuals are your friends and that social media ISNT a marketing platform i think is why everythings so fucking insane right now. i dont believe anyone when they say they love their mutuals. you love me? how do i pronounce my words? you dont know. you cant love that.

i woke up in a good mood

hate hate hate hate it when theres a post thats like THIS PERSONS DRAWING INCEST LOOK LOOK LOOK *slames a billion pictures of incest porn onto my dash with no tag or read me* like cool cool. so the thing is. the artist made sure i wouldn't ever see it. you didn't. youre worse.

i think something i struggle with is the way that people are very stuck on this idea of having to get "rid" of a certain type of person. whether it be a minority group or literal nazis and rapists and pedophiles, neither are groups you can get rid of, or should. they will always exist. forever.

making the joke first doesn't protect you from others making it, you're just opening the door and letting people in. making a joke about yourself doesnt "save" yourself, its like placing a welcome matt right in front of your insecurities and telling people that the doors always unlocked.

i dont see how making molestation jokes or jew jokes or ableist jokes in bad taste in public are any different than making "girl math" or "girl dinner" jokes in bad taste is bad feminism. how is it different. i dont understand.

i think a lot of peoples abuse fetish at the moment come from the fact that they were a voyeur in a lot of ableist abuse online and are terrified that one day theyll be the disabled person in the scenario and it kind of turns them on. i get it. except not really.

this whole focus on people who have been called out and didnt deserve it sort of feels like the gen z 20 year old version of going no you know what these fucking bitches have gone too far with this whole me too movement.

i think i have a lot of experience with people defending the "concept" of me while not fucking with the actual reality of who i am, and i get frustrated when i see people doing this to others.

because victims of abuse often develop a them vs us mentality due to the fact that theyve been conditioned to see the world like this, this causes traumatized people to accidently be very good at gathering crowds who are looking for something to be against, and something to stand for. the scary

regardless of how good 3d animation can be its not ever going to change the fact that i prefer looking at art i can physically feel the strokes and motion of, not just through the character but i can physically feel the artist in the lineart, the drawings. i cant feel that with 3d animation.

my funny chamberlands smiles. do they deserve heaven or hell.

the rise in fart fetishes has lead to the "public farter" personality choice in tomodatchi life living the dream.

will wood handshake welcome to nightval getting written off as tumblr garbage when in reality theyre both heavily based off and about jewish identities

going "im a fucking pervert im a sex pervert whos sexually disturbed and a freak and a weirdoo" when youre horny feels exactly the same as going "im such a fat fucking slob im such a fatass im a bigback fuckhead" every time you're hungry. i just realized thats why it pisses me off.

AVA is fun because the lack of humanity in any of the characters makes it really easy for them to exist on a spectrum of "this is literally a person" and "this is a metaphor and a story beat in the vague shape of a person"

ghostboy

you study fetishes? bro im fucking them

its like how people really like sinkdog but forget that she was made for porn reasons. not just "sensual art" but genuinely shes porn? for the artist himself? and thats ok. that HAS value. you dont have to explore why and try to find the meaning, its already there in the drawing itself.

it pisses me off that on tumblr ive amassed a group of followers who all seem to Agree with me in some way or form but also seem to view fetishes as something you Academically talk about but don't earnestly express. i follow them back expecting genuine nsfw but its all literary analysis.