In a way I'm glad Hegseth and pumpkin man did that stupid speech. It allowed the top brass to see the crazy, inept weirdos they are, completely unfiltered and unedited. Now they can have that picture in their minds when the BS orders start coming in.

"There's your answer, fishbulb!" Also, when people repeat the same dumb action, I think BZZT "ow!" BZZT "ow!" from Bart repeatedly grabbing the electrified cupcake (Lisa's 'is a hamster smarter than my brother' science fair project).

So let's say I wanted to give Gomer a bunch of money. Doing so would have tax implications and might be unlawful. If, however, Gomer filed a sham lawsuit, and we "settled" for that sum, I could make my donation openly and without serious consequences.

The really sad part is, he probably asked for quality stuff, but his people know that he can't tell the difference. So they put gold spray paint on some Home Depot crap and pocketed the rest, and Sundown Grandpa is none the wiser.

> @macfarlanenews.bsky.social

I've said it before, but: people are going to be really, really mad at this one. I got it so fast because there were literally no other possibilities. Wordle 1,561 3/6 ⬜🟨⬜🟨⬜ 🟨🟩⬜⬜⬜ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

"Tylenol is dangerous!" "Even Tylenol with codeine?" "Aw, hell naw, love that stuff, you got any?"

My wife bought a bunch of new lamps, but she doesn't know how to set them up in the Kasa app. Welcome to my home: Peter Lampton, Victor von Lampenstein, Vince Lampbardi, Barbara Lampton, and Englebert Lamperdink.

This is a 9-0 Supreme Court decision from just last year.

After years of complaining about cancel culture, the current administration has taken it to a new and dangerous level by routinely threatening regulatory action against media companies unless they muzzle or fire reporters and commentators it doesn’t like.

Thing is, Kimmel must have a contract. Talking about an issue of public interest almost certainly doesn't violate that contract. Kimmel should sue them for $15 billion, see who they fear more.

Every question to the pumpkin man from here forward should be some variation of, "So what's the wonderful secret that you and Epstein shared?"

Something people aren't talking about enough is how often Charlie Kirk invoked the Fifth Amendment when testifying before Congress about the domestic terrorists he provided buses to get to Washington on January 6, 2021.

If this is how he acts about Kirk's death, he's really, really not gonna like it when the pumpkin man dies...

I do not support what happened to Charlie Kirk but Charlie Kirk supported what happened to Charlie Kirk.

Know what'll stop the occupations? Military moms calling their sons and daughters and shaming them.

I'm in favor of calling the pumpkin man "Loopy D" from now on, in honor of his signature on his birthday confession to his child rapist best friend.

This entire book is a nightmare

Good God.

I had blocked from my memory that Elon Musk had been on an episode of Rick & Morty. Yeesh.

The Texas Legislature called Sine Die on the 89th Second Special Session. How bad is the damage?

who would be the funniest journalist to break the news

I always say: reading books and acquiring books are two different hobbies.

Guess it's time to post this again.

Didn't know it was Forest Friday. I'll share this, which I found on the back of a guardrail in Olympic National Park.

There needs to be a "don't algorithm this" button that allows you to search "wtf are these people talking about", discover it's not anything you're interested in, and go back to normal. Every social media abbreviation or slang word I Google signs me up forever for a newsletter I don't want.

One of the weakest chins I've ever seen. It must take him three hours to change a pillowcase.

"Before a photographer could snap pictures, he pulled a copy of 'Mein Kampf' from a bookshelf and turned it around to hide its spine..." “They see right now as a very opportune time. They see a friend in the White House at the highest level...” www.nytimes.com/2025/08/19/r...

The title company called and said we had overpaid at our closing and we were getting a refund! Guess how much! FIVE CENTS! FIVE! CENTS! And their accounts had to balance so they had to refund it. Could we come get the check? ... Like hell am I driving to pick up a five cent check.

BREAKING: EXCLUSIVE: Senator Whitehouse asked the BOP for Ghislaine Maxwells sex offender waiver, custody level, transfer code, and security point score. I have them. She's also been granted the ability to leave the facility for work assignments. My latest: www.muellershewrote.com/p/exclusive-...

NEW: Here's the quid! Maxwell swears Trump did nothing wrong! Then trump waived her sex offender status and moved her to club fed without notifying the victims. SHOCKED I TELL YOU! abcnews.go.com/US/trump-adm...

In child support court, they sometimes use Bureau of Labor Statistics numbers if there's no other proof of income. If BLS numbers are inflated, dads will be charged more for child support. Congrats, deadbeat dads, you just played yourselves.

🚩🚩 RED FLAG 🚩 Texas House Republicans Abruptly End First Redistricting Hearing, Only 1/2 Testified 200 Texans signed up to testify at the first redistricting hearing, but only half were heard. Republicans abruptly end, refuse to allow an extension. They don't care what Texans have to say. #txlege

Cold, hard, blue…, facts, like this? Obama isn’t in the Epstein Files. But Trump sure is!

People are really gonna be mad about this one. Not gonna be many birdies today. Wordle 1,493 4/6 ⬜🟨⬜⬜⬜ 🟨⬜⬜⬜🟨 🟩⬜⬜🟨⬜ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

People are not gonna like this one. Wordle 1,490 3/6 🟨⬜⬜🟨⬜ 🟨🟩🟨🟨🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

It nags in the back of my mind that MTG's batshit chemtrail bill, if it passed, might also prevent efforts to reduce global warming.

Trump was golfing and enjoying ice cream this weekend while search and rescue teams were in Texas looking for child flood victims

Did not expect a 2 with this word, I was just trying to place the yellows. Wordle 1,478 2/6 ⬜🟩🟨🟨⬜ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

It would be so funny if undocumented people started dressing like ICE officers all the time, masks and all, and blending in with them.

The whole middle east situation may have just been the pumpkin man's attempt to speedrun a Nobel peace prize. Still trying to measure up to Obama.

I've got the best second word in the game, I'm tellin' ya. Wordle 1,465 3/6 ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ 🟨🟨⬜🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

When Whiskey Pete speaks at this press conference, he sounds to me like PC Penhale. I doubt anyone will get that reference.

Well, that's a new pattern for sure. Wordle 1,460 4/6 ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ 🟨🟨🟨🟨⬜ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

The cast and crew of City Slickers (Billy Crystal) took a break from filming and bought out a showing at the movie theater where I worked. They all came in and watched Goodfellas.

Absolutely right.

Elon Musk’s Legacy Is Disease, Starvation and Death - @michellegoldberg.bsky.social

Superman is correct.

🇺🇸 “Rolling Stone reached out to all 53 GOP senators after the president said he didn't know whether he needs to honor the nation's founding document. None replied.” www.rollingstone.com/politics/pol...

It’s especially galling that AG Pam Bondi personally wrote the memo approving the gift of the Qatari airplane. Her last job was as a lobbyist for Qatar! efile.fara.gov/docs/6415-Ex...