Perfect day to sow the wind in Charlottesville!

Looking forward to the launch of CVN-79, the USS Døⁿa1d J Tπump and John F. Kennedy

Oh God, why did they name it that

big day for everyone who remembers "Martin Van Ruin" from AP US history

Ah yes, Christmas! Famously the time of year people are like "what are all these troops doing at home!? Start a war or something!"

Going to install a hot stove by the rotunda and make a fortune selling burn medication

There's a sermon to be written about the people wanting every classroom to have "honor your father and your mother" posted, but editing the second commandment to remove "punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me"

It looks like the push to hold Hegseth accountable now has [puts on sunglasses] Gil-mentum

The only time it is appropriate to say "servant leadership" a dozen times in five minutes is if you are a pastor of a megachurch

A problem for my career doing non-profit fundraising is that I am deeply suspicious of relentlessly optimistic, glass-half-full people.

pastor, who will care for your people

Zipadeedoodah

1. The great stalacpipe organ (instrumental) 2. The burning of Norfolk 3. Let's do the shipyard part again for Charles Stewart McCauley 4. The missing baby giraffes of natural bridge zoo 5. What is that you say, man of Tangier Island? 6. Crater of Petersburg, Volcano of Rockingham

The local sheriff dressed up someone as the Grinch in a prison uniform and labeled them "thief," which feels antithetical to the actual story where genuine atonement results in the person being welcomed back into the community with no barriers

I thought that this was about the Brothers Karamozov quote at first, but nope. Just about a guy designing a big room and not about creating a fabric of human destiny with the object of making men happy in the end.

We did it Joe(s)

rip tommy jefferson, you would've loved everyone at your university sending long, angry letters to each other

The strip mall not-quite-a-payday-loan place is prominently advertising "holiday loans" in case your lack of October BLS numbers was making you wonder how the economy is doing

hmmmm

Hot ones, except make it the spicy takes I keep sequestered in drafts

The first person to give the Biden Avengers Endgame video treatment to kpop demon hunters

In contrast, it seemed like everyone quickly understood that a theocracy of Evangelicals, Catholics and Mormons was not going to work and each faction has clearly been working to position itself accordingly.

We're working with a super low N to be fair, but 0% of homes with an Earle-Sears/Miyares sign were giving out candy, whereas 85% of Spanberger houses were.

Ah yes, hating your neighbors as a method of creating a nation of one language. From the classic Bible stories, "Love Your Neighbor" and "Don't Create the Tower of Babel"

the way the new york post talks about zohran

AH WELL NEVERTHELESS

Til "Andrew and Peter were small business owners that owned boats!" is actually something people say to justify why car dealership owners shouldn't feel bad while they jet ski past poor people

"What, the one as big as me?,” replied the boy. “Is it?” said Scrooge. “Go and buy it.”

Lowe's should employ a guy to follow around middle aged suburban dudes saying things like "why pay to have that thing done? I bet you could do it yourself! It would just take like an hour or two, tops. Just one weekend afternoon!"

Back in my day, you had to come up with a mentally unwell equation that took various Bible verses and combined them in some way to calculate the exact date of the rapture, and then spread the message via radio show and billboards. Now you just post a little video like "uhhhh rapture next Tuesday?"

Finding a Cava bag full of money, not on closer inspection seeing that they are the fake dollars for evangelicals to tip brunch servers with the Bible verses on them

Really puts the lie to all the nonprofit types going "we are STORYTELLERS who will raise donations with our compelling NARRATIVE!" When what actually works is shit like this.

I leave eternity to Thee; for what is man that he should live out the lifetime of his God?

Slightly diminish a band: Hospice Uber for Cutie

If Democrats can lock down the incredibly crucial "people who like to shit on the Democrats" demographic, they will be absolutely unstoppable

Me (bringing a cat to the audition): there's nothing in the rulebook!

It likely says something about me that I voraciously read CS Forresters Horatio Hornblower, who was deeply neurotic and uncomfortable in social situations, good at math, anxious about balding, and is also unaccountably attractive to women.

I think the problem is there is one party that alone knows the will of a God that will neither act in the world nor hold them accountable for their actions & another party where God bends the arc of history toward justice, but is otherwise unknowable so they are indecisive about acting

He tried to roll the hat down his arm like Fred Astair and then he said "I've never fought for anything in my entire life but I am fighting for this hat."

I guess this is the GOP's version of Swan Lake

Orchards are now battlefields

My primary reason for getting a bluesky account was that I needed a safe outlet to shitpost, as - in addition to that being Not Done on LinkedIn - I was getting frustrated unsuccessfully trying to twist nonprofit LinkedIn voice to that end

The flagship university of Virginia

Satan, first term: hey, that apple looks good. You should eat it. Satan, second term:

Huh, I wonder what position this forum sponsored by a company that has a massive financial stake in AI will have on the usefulness of AI.

Is it bad that my first response to that picture was to be reminded of this @bretdevereaux.bsky.social article? foreignpolicy.com/2022/04/06/r...

Every lifelong Catholic is like "I think we're supposed to give this money to pay property taxes for orphanages" and every adult convert is like "Ordo Amoris means I can steal candy from this baby, as long as its an immigrant baby"