I can’t get it working because I’m never allowed to have the things I want 😒😔

Absolutely gorgeous summery afternoon so obviously I will be spending it setting up my new throttle and joystick hardware for the silly space game I play ☺️

This got absolutely no play when I posted it the other day and I’m frankly disgusted with you all.

I’m “bland”

Awesome. First spot of nice weather and the railway points somewhere just outside Liverpool melt and send all the Transpennine Express trains to absolute shit.

Oh nice, they put your hometown on the Windows lock screen.

Today is my Friday and I couldn’t be happier. This week has been draining, I need to switch off my higher brain functions for a few days and let everything cool down.

Just paid the deposit on my new little pied a terre bijou apartmentette 😍 Been stressful the last few days getting all the referencing straightened out, definitely treating myself to a splash of prosecco this evening!

what gay subtext could there be in baldurs gate 3, the game where you team up with the most ancient twink to ever live, a bear, a daddy issues warlock, a mommy issues wizard and a statistically improbable number of supernatural lesbians to ban conversion therapy

ServiceNow shitting the bed and losing an afternoon’s work? Booooo. Cheese and wine? Yaaaaaay!

Two and a half hours of tedious work this afternoon disappeared due to a software error, so I’m fucking off home early in search of wine. Furious.

Put a holding deposit down for a new apartment 😬 Please let this application go through quick and slick 🤞

Seeing as I’m being turfed out of my apartment in 2 months, just been to look at a cute little studio nearby. Think I might go for it. It has a built-in dishwasher and walk-in rainfall shower, neither of which are currently available to me 😍

This is very me-coded

OK so I managed to drag myself out of bed to post something before work and there was a fit tradie walking the same way, all the way to the post box. I’m taking this as a good sign.

I really don’t want to today. Is there any way we can not?

7 Dials Food Hall do a cracking pizza. That is all.

What’s that? Work is paying for my evening meal? I’ll have the chateaubriand and chips then, ta!

Are you a grower, or are you

Love a hotel. Will be having a second shower of the day in a minute just because I can ☺️

To London! *points*

Just been given a heads-up that I’ll be served 2 months notice on my apartment at the end of the month. GREAT.

In my last job I lived near my iffice, so I haven’t really commuted in a decade. Now I’m spending most mornings in going to work looking around the tram thinking “I want to watch HIM do HIM” 🤤

Send me nudes, mainly?

There was a very well-proportioned gentleman doing topless exercises in the courtyard outside my work building this lunchtime. I think I’m going to like working here.

Ugh, this morning I am reminded why I don’t drink red wine any more… 💀

Just the one glass of red wine seeing as it’s a school night…

Everyone OK? Nobody got blown off in the night? I know I didn’t.

Guess which dumb twat forgot to turn his work alarm off?

The Cossack, Sheffield

It’s the kind of day that calls for a steak pie and a mountain of chips and gravy.

There’s something viscerally satisfying about watching this snivelling little gammon ferret get bodied

I remember being so excited for this! Jesus Christ I’m old.

Yes to this

Going back into my building after a walk and some arseclown is walking out with a dressing gown and slippers. I just hope he’s wearing underpants, otherwise the high winds out there are going to give him an impromptu Marilyn Monroe moment…

Got my notebook, got my packed lunch, got my water bottle - off to new school I go!

OMG I start my new job tomorrow! I feel like it’s my first day at big school 😬

Say his name

People know the difference between shit and chocolate mousse like.

Out for a walk in this gorgeous weather. Spring has finally Spronked!! 🙌🏻

Me: I start my new job in two weeks, I can finally relax and enjoy a bit of time without the worry and stress of unemployment The universe: here, have some really bad toothache out of the blue, even though your teeth are well looked-after! 🤕🤕🤕

BAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

I got the jobbbbbbbbb!!!!! 🥳🥳🥳

My favourite unhinged YouTube science twink has just released a new video where he chains 400 car batteries together 🙌🏻

2nd interview for role is done. I really want this one but I have no idea which way it’s going to go 😬😬😬

Just interviewed for a job. Think it went well 🤞🏻 Think happy thoughts for me!

I’m an absolute slut for this soup

Love the look of the first stills from the Sam Mendes Beatles movies! What a cast! #beatles #thebeatles

❤️