Institutional misogyny and racism within the Met police? I’m so surprised 🙄 #BBC

Lol #BBC1 breakdown with the lad asleep at his desk

Adorable Mark Carney on the pitch with his lasses. Hopefully the #Canada team won’t have to crowdfund their passage next time, eh? #Rugby #Women

No royals giving medals to the English world champions at an England-hosted World Cup? Disappointing #Rugby #Women

Long car journey listening to Absolute Radio classic rock. Playing ‘dead or not dead’. We’ve had 4 tracks in a row with dead band members. So far

Wasn’t she married to Henry VIII?

Glad I finished all the ironing before the Rapture tomorrow

Chris Mason robustly defending BBC’s impartiality over political party reporting. Immediately followed by a long article on Fartage’s immigration policy. Ffs #BBCNews

Caught up with this week’s #TheArchers. It felt so odd. All the weird heart to heart scenes. Is there a new writer?

Me, coming in from the pub, singing ‘where the hell are my slippers’ to the tune of #Raye

There’s an enormous rat under my bird feeder. Been watching him through binos and ngl he’s really pretty 🫣

September achievement unlocked: Joined a FB flag group in order to write a post calling them racist illiterates and was blocked within 30 minutes 💅

CRICKET INN ROAD

I am at the age where I listen fondly to new music and call the artists ‘dear little lad/lass’ #ChappellRoan #Yungblud

Caught up with #TheArchers. Martin and the girls raised my ick-o-meter. With Lawrence it went to red levels. But Fallon and Chris sent it to…

Absolute lolz at the bit in this article where his mummy rushes online to his defence

Jokes kids today won’t understand: Mr L using all the buttons on the cash machine keypad Me: alright, Jean Michel Jarre

It’s not daft to get the sewing machine out on a hot summer’s day, is it?

Found a new nickname for Mr L

I’m on the bus. Must remember to tap off with the driver 👀

Skegness, one of your absolute finest people right here. Buy her a drink whenever you see her.

I mean, it’s a kind offer, but he’s not really my type #HotBusAction

Mr L: Don’t climb on the shed roof while I’m out, it’s not safe Me: aw, how nice… Mr L: if you’re going to fall off, I don’t want to miss it Ffs

Sure Jan 🙄

Well, that was dreadful. Same time next week? #TOTP

Mr Strange magnificence #TOTP

Play Visage or gtf #TOTP

It’s no There There My Dear, is it? #TOTP

Going to ruin his skin with all that makeup #MumTweet #TOTP

When you’ve got #TOTP at 7.30 but you’re playing with Crème Brûlée at 8 #TOTP #LesMcQueen

Sir Thumbsaloft there, with a song I have no recollection of 🤷‍♀️ #TOTP

Is this the one Kylie didn’t want? #TOTP

Perennial post #TOTP

PLAY BATDANCE. The whole version. See you at 9pm #TOTP

And this is why I lived 6000 miles away in 1989 #TOTP

Play The Cult, you fools #TOTP

I’ll be right back. Just nipping out for an Eartha #sorrynotsorry #TOTP

Turning up for 1980s #TOTP like

Mr L has just offered to ‘hang the washing out for you’. He’s all heart

Found a new nickname for Mr L

Share a movie you can quote from start to finish

@ticketmaster.com saying it’ll take ‘up to a month’ to refund our #ELO tickets. They’ve had Mr L’s money for about 6 months already. Lolz

Very much enjoying garden kimmeridge today #MeaningOfLiff

Robert Smith & Simon Gallup The Cure at Hyde Park 40th Anniversary Concert July 07 2018 #TheCure #RobertSmith #Anniversary

Here’s what we could have won #ELO #cancelled #Manchester

Bucket hat sales soar as Oasis tour. From the new Private Eye, out now.

Note to all journalists: crying is a physiological or emotional response. It does not indicate a lack of intellectual ability or strength.

Listening to #Pulp in the garden, wearing a hat and drinking Aperol. *Just* like being at #Glastonbury

Me, every time I plug the car in: “Ooh vada the bona omi”.

No #TOTP tonight