new Epstein release is a bit lazy imho, same guest acts as before, needs to shake it up with some new paedophiles

I should be in the Ryder Cup team, because I would change my name to 'Juan Up' and in the confusion, escape

Yes yes, this tosspot, but more importantly: The Return of Monkey Christ

grateful to know that there is a real film about Jack the Ripper travelling through time for some reason and getting taken down by David Hasselhoff

is clear and pale snot actually a good medical sign? doesn't matter, part of me will always think it's brain fluid

he looks like benny hill got chronic wasting disease

[something something] 'Is the Pope shit on the pitch?'

i must reluctantly hand it to the Right that they just crack on with the job of being dickheads, rather than arguing about the type of dickhead they are

the boys rushing out together to meet Paddington

we need an otherwise completely straight demonic possession story with Matt Berry as the exorcist

a modest proposal for hacking unrequested St George's crosses into celebrations of your local English area's diversity

when you want your country back, and that country is full of the Plague

'The Hands Resist Him: Teddy Bear Edition'

Maybe recommending a paedophile's good friend as ambassador to the US is more resignation-worthy than underpaying stamp duty, who can really say, I'm just glad the adults are back in charge of Labour

excited for the upcoming round of 'why Antifa are normal working people with legitimate concerns', like the right wing always get

when you low-effort regenerate

Makes you think

Potentially the greatest single line in modern drama is from Matthew Broughton's 2010 radio play 'The Rain Maker': 'He was on the toilet... and he wasn't alone'

subscriptions >>> shop.viz.co.uk/viz348bs

chatgpt is much like an improv comedy group 1) you are the audience, giving it prompts 2) it produces things roughly shaped like your prompt 3) it is trained to respond with Yes, And 4) it has the factual accuracy of improv 5) it does not understand comedy

i wasn't even joking

You have to acknowledge new levels of 'absolute shithead' when they arise, and in this case it's a woman I saw on Bumble wearing a Mossad hoodie

Quakermass and thee Pit

Ben Wheatley directing something written by himself or Amy Jump (his missus): 😱💀🗡️🧙🏚️🌳👻🤪 Ben Wheatley directing anything else: 😐

must be a mononym, like Cher

Every day i am grateful i am not in a Jimmy McGovern drama and every day I know i could be, because all of us could be #Unforgivable #TheMcGovernor

a modest proposal for hacking unrequested St George's crosses into celebrations of your local English area's diversity

Celtic, Rangers and Man U in a time loop of masochistic beer-holding

alright which one of you weirdos came up with the Chobham Murder Pit www.murderpit-chobham.org.uk

'The Monkey' isn't BAD but it's basically Final Destination with pretensions. also it shouldn't have played 'I do like to be beside the seaside', because a) that's innately a silly song, not a creepy one, and b) why does a monkey want to be beside the seaside

Stumbled upon this screen grab from BBC's Paranormal documentaries and maaaaaan it's theoretically going to be useful if Starmer's Labour sorts itself out

please enjoy this horrifying shadow-person version of me that my (closed) laptop generated unprompted during a teams call

@tomblack.uk have a listen and it'll become apparent why I'm sending you this www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/...

how come none of you told me that Hilary Mantel's 'Beyond Black' (2005 - the last book she wrote before Wolf Hall) is the greatest British suburban gothic novel ever written

the still-remarkable grave of 9 year-old Cliff Dunn (killed by a road accident in 1968) in Camberwell New Cemetery

the 4th emergency service

God lord what a read www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

what a dingh-bat www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

'Dean Cain is... Sub-par Man'

So apparently, it may turn out that The Wizard of Oz at the Las Vegas Sphere wasn’t entirely made in AI and Google threw the VFX crew under the bus by claiming it was all done by artificial intelligence. If true, then fucking yikes.

first major BlueSky ratio-ing, and wow, it's not small

look, it's very easy to take the piss out of this, but thank god Jeff Bezos invented literature

i wonder what happened with 2024's The Exorcism. perfectly interesting setup that tried to become the most predictable possible version of what it knew it was trying to subvert. quite sad really.

Weird shit from holiday: @hookland.bsky.social style 'tiny cute house with big ominous aerial'

so there i am, about to hop over a stile, when this reasonably large sheep that had been relaxing with a couple of shorties in the corner, gets up, stamps over to the other side of the stile, and i absolutely shit you not, *it growls at me*

i still don't know exactly how many shapeshifting-demon-bait-n-switches is too many, but The Dark and the Wicked definitely has too many