Is it actually possible for me to eat and not dribble shit down the front of my shirt? Not looking like it

With extreme skepticism I made overnight oats last night and I shockingly don’t hate them this morning?

A reminder to homeowners and landlords of Santa Cruz on a very windy morning: you’re responsible for trimming your palm trees. Kind of a terrifying dog walk this morning tbh

I deleted TikTok bc it’s addictive but now my phone is boring

Trader Joe’s employees are too chatty. I know they’re told to be but omfg it’s Sunday at 3pm let’s get in and get out of here

Hi it’s gardening season

Have had thank u next stuck in my head for days

Having a garden is the best thing in the world after having a dog

The best way to get your seeds to pop up is to wait for weeks and give up and then go buy starts at the garden store and then when you get home you’ll have seedlings waiting for you

If you’re a mom you shouldn’t have to say happy Mother’s Day to any moms. Exempt.

The most difficult person in the group chat continues to be incredibly difficult

I had really missed having a garden

Watched Arrival with my kids tonight and had a great time. Also look at this BANGING spaghetti and meatballs I made. Garlic toast by my oldest. Good night all around.

Garbage trucks shouldn’t be out before 6am

I love yardwork! This was so satisfying. I’ll fill and plant those wine barrels tomorrow

It’s Friday morning but why isn’t it yet Friday afternoon

No one wants to hear about dreams and I’ll spare you but I’m walking around in a fog this morning bc they were so weird and intense

Hello Portland friends! If you work in area bars, please be on the lookout for this creep, ART SANTANA who drugs, sexually assaults & beats women. Street justice is cool. Curb jaw? I didn't see nothing.

Part of why I’m a happy single parent and my kid doesn’t need to learn this ☺️

When you beg for a walk but it’s raining

My neighborhood is the best in the spring

Extremely telling that they prominently have GRIEVANCE FORM linked on their home page. I guarantee a judge made them do that.

I need to walk my dog and also make dinner and god why do you give your most difficult tasks to me

How long until my body gets used to riding a bike again / do I just need a different seat that doesn’t bruise my crotch?

Cigna should have to pay me to call them to ask if drs are covered by my plan or not

Got my order and this is now officially the brightest sweatshirt I own

This is so deeply familiar and sad to me

Grumpy at having a 745am meeting this morning. Am I up anyway? Not the point!

Turns out I am not in biking shape since I sold my old one during a move and I just got very exhausted from an old loop I used to do all the time. Whew.

I drank my second container of prep for my colonoscopy and wow I feel terrible but I did it

Armageddon is terrible, but our only other option was diversity trainings at work.

Oh why don’t I already do this?? I’m going to do this.

Guess what I hate colonoscopy prep

Bought myself a used bike to cheer myself up and get excited for summer. Haven’t had a bike in a couple years.

Best Passover food is matzo bark, fight me on it

Fun part of insomnia - was already awake for that earthquake?

Rabbit rabbit I’m up with insomnia

Got two boxes !

Everyone wish me luck as I last minute try and find some non Israeli matzo 🫠

"Israel" doesn't start with a J.

Dog beach was poppin this morning and as usual Maggie mostly ignored everyone but me

Making broth for tonight’s soup and getting pumped for another Shabbat off screens

Is doing a lot of chores avoiding my anxiety or is it how I deal with it

We could all use a 3 day week and a 3 day Shabbat

Saw Project Hail Mary with my space loving teen and we loved it (he read the book twice)

I’ve been off coffee for a couple weeks after a particularly bad IBS flare and I’ve been doing mostly better but am sluggish today so drinking a cup before a date at the beach with gross bathrooms is absolutely what I should do right

Actively looking forward to turning my phone off at sundown

This in: jumping in the ocean on a hot day is still a great idea

It’s unbelievable how loud the garbage trucks are and for how long it takes them to get their shit and get out of here

If it’s this fucking hot in march, what hell will this summer be?