Tuesday morning, prepping BBQ chicken for lunch, listening to Buffalo Tom's "tail lights fade" is making me feel very wistful

I don't know if this is delicious or disgusting: chewy, bouncy sanuki udon tossed with mayo, Sriracha, rice vinegar, fish sauce & tobiko That was my dinner; it probably would have been better with cold flaked salmon & slivered nori

Get you a dude who admits he has white passing privilege and then eats your pussy like he's starving & just got out of prison

LOL I just muted my state's governor stuff a sock in it, Gavin

Somehow I've wound up on the musical algorithm that thinks I am OK with Roy Orbison & who knew, I am! That fucking algorithm knew, that's what.

Making yet another batch of fresh dark chocolate brownies because why the fuck not? The world is a raging cesspool of despair; might as well eat something decadent.

is a tortilla española made with jalapeño kettle chips served with a tobiko aioli too wild or just the perfect amount of crazy town for me?

Oh duh, mid autumn festival & cheosuk are similar down to the desserts.

I learned this year that I'm often attracted to ADHD weirdo intellectual types on dating apps because my flavor of nut job is vanilla to them so I seem absolutely normal or charming but once we meet in person I want to chew my arm off and escape the bear trap

Is it possible to make a small prime rib that only feeds like 2-3 people? Or are they only available in dinosaur leg sizes?

Ugh I'm arguing with an idiot on Facebook. Please someone take the keyboard away

here is my thread to post random thoughts apropos of nothing except the noise in my head: - LOL at you panicking thinking that was a tampon wrapper in the bathroom trash bin when it was really one of those paper bracelets they give you at venues after your age is verified.

Omg my brother is going to be in LA in a couple weeks and I'm really excited to cook us dinner!!!!!

Yeah I'm gonna listen to Tom Petty's LEARNING TO FLY on repeat

why does every ZZ Top song sound like it starts off with two stoned dads having a conversation before hopping onto their Harleys

I wonder if there's a review page for former worst kept secret in Williamsburg Kokie's on yelp

I'm really excited for next weekend because I'm cat sitting for my neighbor & I get to meet her new kitten!! He's apparently a real cuddle bug & very affectionate.

for breakfast today I reheated my leftover black bean soup & ate it with two jammy eggs sliced on top. looking forward to my apartment being renamed "Chicago" since it'll be a real Windy City soon in here

realizing that I have the power power to manipulate people but not actually using it unless I want my ex to get me a bottle of wine at 11pm means I am not a terrible person, right? that was literally the only time I felt I needed to wield that weapon, mostly because I wanted the fucking wine.

ew, some new dude on one of the dating apps just told me "I'm definitely a better cook than you" & I responded "I didn't realize it was a competition; bold statement from someone who's never tasted my food" & now I never want to login to this shit again. he's not even hot enough to try this BS.

A memory of that diner on N3 & Wythe; was it called relish? So many late nights spent there, nursing shitty beers & making shittier decisions. It was perfect. Why am I suddenly thinking about a hipster hot spot from 2001?

I hate the term but yeah, "California sober" is working out for me. It's been nearly nine months & I feel much stronger & emotionally present. I don't disappear into the bottom of a wine glass anymore. I no longer wake up choking on regret. It's still awkward, like too big shoes, but I'll grow.

Nothing feels as luxurious as a Saturday afternoon nap while watching YOU'RE NEXT for the 50th time

who is the most embarrassing/cringe inducing person on your FB timeline? mine is my ex's best friend's dad. his posts are so try hard & corny. if I ever become that person, someone please take me out back & put a bullet in my head, thank you

I'm considering making a quick & dirty spicy black bean soup with red bell peppers & Serrano chilis, maybe a bit of baby spinach wilted in at the end. I could top it with a fried egg or two on top for a full protein meal.

last night I made someone slow dance with me on his balcony since the music playing demanded such respect. it was a perfect moment, made all the more odd & beautiful because I was wearing nothing but a bathrobe.

OK I'm probably gonna catch a lot of flak for this but why do koreaboo folks get so excited to eat junky Korean ramen & snacks when there is so much GOOD Korean fresh food to eat that isn't ultra processed & shelf stable? this is like being into French culture & eating nothing but baguettes.

I've decided as I head into a new chapter, I'm going to be that lady who wears white tank tops & no bra. fuck it.

on the menu next week will be jalapeño kettle chip tortilla espanola because fuck yeah who doesn't love potatoes, eggs & jalapeños?

I just posted about putting a plastic pickle in the butt of a member of a big time emo band on BCO so nature is definitely healing

whenever I listen to superchunk, my mind immediately flashes back to high school, senior year, writing class & that beautiful moppet of a boy I had a crush on who wore ratty converse low tops w pavement lyrics scrawled across the toes. he had the cutest elfin upturned nose, a smatter of freckles.

today seems perfectly poised to be full of possibilities but that's probably because I'm gonna get laid

I've managed some level of success making jeon in the oven & it involves lining a baking sheet with aluminum foil, misting it generously with baking spray, and then spraying oil on the surface of both the pan as well as the batter after you pour it in. 350F until cooked through, then 425F for brown.

whenever I listen to the talking heads, I remember high school freshman me standing at Astor Cube in the East Village with my friends & David Byrne walked by in a white shirt, jeans & a yellow construction helmet & I shouted "I LOVE YOU" at him. I tell this story a lot because duh DAVID BYRNE

learning to sit in silence, in inactivity, in repose. not everything has to be forward motion. maybe it's OK to reassess, rearrange & rest.

I find it interesting that people who are intrigued by me I generally punish for liking me because what could possibly be wrong with them to want to spend time with me? this is a problem.

I have a memory of being a child, maybe five or so, & announcing to my mother after taking a very laborious shit "I just pooped & pooped so much but don't worry, I saved some" & the laugh she fuckin' laughed. oh, to bring her that much joy again.

I just realized I haven't eaten winter melon soup in decades, not since my mother made it for me, so I should remedy this soon. I will make a small pot, eat it with a bowl of hot, fresh, white rice, & remember how warm & nourishing her love for us was.

I saw it was an old acquaintance's birthday on FB so I sent him a message & let him know that even though we hated each other half a lifetime ago because of "DA SCENE," I appreciate him now for all the good work he's doing. I figure that's my gift to him, a moment of kindness from coal hearted me.

not drinking forces me to sit with being uncomfortable & this is definitely a learning process.

I think to maintain my sanity I'm going to focus on finding a new job next year because with the holidays, mom's birthday & my milestone birthday coming up, I don't want to deal with a goddamn thing other than maintaining my health which is already tenuous at best.

I didn't know what else to do so I am making a vegetarian cottage pie with garlic mashed potato topping. the filling tastes like white people in England so I think it'll turn out great after I bung it all in the oven.

hmm, my libido might have returned. funny how that happens when you choose to date people you're attracted to, as opposed to settling for someone whose touch makes you cringe

I'm just saying, if anyone knows the producers of OUTCHEF'D, I wouldn't be mad if you submitted me to the casting director.

oh dear, my friend's cancer has returned.

serious question: how exhausted are you?

good morning, I have no idea what I want to do with myself today so I am going to languish & maybe recreate THE SCREAM a few times on my balcony after I make something nutritious & delicious to jam into my maw

back on my science bullshit: I've noticed that despite a 72 hour T break, I'm having trouble achieving liftoff after ingesting RSO so I fear I'm NOT eating enough so that my body can digest it properly. to test this out, I'm forcing myself to eat an extra, fatty meal 90 minutes beforehand

it feels like a retro Monday morning in that I'm listening to gaslight anthem & making hash browns from scratch.